The Truth About Embodiment

“People say that what we are seeking is the meaning of life. I don’t think that is what we are seeking. I think what we are seeking is the experience of being ALIVE” ~ Joseph Campbell

Last week, I was on a call with a client and we got into a deep discussion about embodiment, as she had recently started her year-long journey in my Embody program. Having just decided to take things deeper, she was ecstatic about exploring just how much choosing embodiment will shift her life and her business.

After years of spiritual practice, transcendental experiences, mystical encounters and studying with the ‘gurus’, she’s been {quite frankly} fed up with living up in the clouds & struggling with all the pieces that make her ‘human’- food, money, career, body, relationships- and is finally ready to live HERE- in her body, on this earth. To still be able to have those spiritual experiences, but also live in the life of her choosing- able to pay her bills, be in a relationship, stand in her power.

SHE WANTS ALL IN. IN THIS LIFE. IN THIS BODY. IN THIS WORLD.

{Just like we all secretly desire}

By going All In, she is choosing to embrace one of the meanings of the word embody, which is to represent in human form. To bring the spiritual into your humanness. To be a human being, and also a spiritual being simultaneously. Fully integrated. Fully present. Fully alive.

Sounds amazing, right? The stuff dreams are made of, movies are written about, epic tales are passed on to convey. A utopia of sorts, where everything is perfect and easy simply by embodying your spiritual self.

At first, she was ALL IN and ready to get the metaphorical ‘party’ started. While I sat by and waited for the reality to set in of what this means…

{Because frankly, if this was really a party, then I would be working 24/7 just to handle every client who is ready to embark on the journey to embodiment with me.}

Then it happened. As we were discussing, the excitement of what embodiment means started to get eclipsed by fear.

Scratch that, not fear:

Absolute TERROR.

BECAUSE YOU SEE, THE ‘RISK’ IN LEADING A LIFE FULLY EMBODIED IS THAT YOU NO LONGER CAN HIDE FROM THE INTENSITY OF YOUR EXPERIENCES. 

You know you do it, we all do. Our ways of numbing what is happening so we don’t have to feel how big it really is. How much it hurts or even how really great it feels. By choosing not to be embodied, what we are really choosing is detachment and separation.

And it goes both ways. There are those who go all in on being human and ignore the spiritual. And there are those who choose to go all in on the spiritual, transcending what it means to be human in seeking enlightenment. To many, this is mutually exclusive. And in reality, having one without the other may feel easier or more pleasurable, but by choosing one or the other, it’s bypassing the whole freaking point of this experience.

Why can’t you have both? Why can’t you feel what it feels to be fully human, fully alive, fully experiencing everything the world has to offer, AND also be fully spiritual?

The answer is you can. And I can. Everyone can. You just have make one choice, over and over and over again:

TO CHOOSE TO EMBODY: THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING TRULY ALIVE IN THIS BODY AND SIMULTANEOUSLY OPEN TO THE DIVINE KNOWLEDGE WE ALL HAVE ACCESS TO– THUS BRINGING IT INTO ACTION HERE, THROUGH YOU.

But it can be downright terrifying when it happens. Why? Because then you have to

FEEL

EVERYTHING

Really feel the intensity of whatever experience you are in, no mater how painful or ecstatic is it, and be fully in it- no more hiding.

You see, the truth is that when you choose to be embodied, it doesn’t mean that life becomes perfect and everything all makes sense. Rather, choosing to become fully embodied means you are choosing to no longer hide, to no longer numb, to no longer go about life half-assed, wondering who will save you or fix you or do it all for you. Choosing to be embodied means you OWN IT.

All of it.

Fully.

All the messy. All the shadows. All the light. All of your talents, all of your strengths and all of your weaknesses. It means being courageous enough to ask for help and open enough to receive it. It means stepping into your calling in the world and trusting the odyssey it takes you on. Sometimes it means having to say NO, and other times being a full on, orgasmic YES- because you trust your body and her wisdom.

And at the end of the day, it means fully accepting every inch, nook and cranny of who you are, what you experience, and how you show up in the world.

You chose this life- this lifetime- for a reason. You chose the situations and circumstances you are in. And you- not anyone else- have the power to learn, grow and transform because of them.

This whole embodiment business isn’t easy- trust me. There are days I wish I could go back to the hiding, go back to numbing myself of the intensity of the feelings and the depth of the experiences. There are days I wish I didn’t remember who I am and where I came from, or curse the goddess for visiting me so much in my mystical encounters.

But then, I just look in the mirror and I see how amazing my life has been since I made this choice. How the terror and fear was all worth it for even just a moment, a glimmer, a glimpse of the opportunity to fully know myself and who I really am. And be able to bring that, fully, into my human experience.

Sure life was ‘easy’ before I stepped onto this path. But it was shallow, and boring, and I always felt I was missing a piece of myself. And then I spent years transcending the self, lost in meditation and yoga, sometimes forgetting to eat I was in such a detached state from my body. That wasn’t necessarily fun either (and frankly was a major force in losing it all).

BY CHOOSING TO BE EMBODIED, EACH OF YOU MAKES A CHOICE: TO BE HERE. NOW. AND TO INTEGRATE THE DIVINE ASPECTS OF YOURSELF INTO YOUR OWN UNIQUE HUMAN EXPERIENCE.

Which sometimes looks awkward.

Sometimes it comes in the form of magic and miracles and divine winks from above that blow your heart wide open.

Sometimes it looks like crying in a ball on the kitchen floor as you feel the intensity of your emotions, sadness, pains and fears.

Sometimes it feels so ‘in the flow’ that life itself feels like a full blown orgasm every minute of the day.

Sometimes it’s being up all night, tossing and turning in a battle with the goddess when she challenges you to not only believe you are divine, but to also Embody Her. Accept Her. Honor Her. Protect Her. Own Her.

Sometimes it’s a soft whisper- when you are spent and done from fighting the entire experience- I surrender… I surrender… I surrender…

Sometimes it’s sitting in the park and laughing hysterically with all your friends and loved ones about just how epic this life is. And how truly glad you are that you had the courage to say YES, to go all in, to choose to be Embodied.

All of the which, are true stories. Sometimes playing out simultaneously. Always reminding me that yes- I am ALIVE.

So therein lies the truth about embodiment- when you make the choice to be All In, to be embodied, you make the choice to truly be alive and step into the destiny of what you are here on earth to do- no matter what that calls for, no matter what you might experience, no matter how good or bad it feels in the moment.

YOU KEEP GOING, YOU KEEP CHOOSING. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

AND LET ME TELL YOU, IT’S ONE HELL OF A RIDE I WOULDN’T GIVE UP FOR ANYTHING.

I get emails daily from many of you hearing the call for this experience, and from several who hear the call, but are still not quite ready for the full Embody experience- yet.

FOR THOSE OF YOU READY, EMBODY: THE 1:1 PERSONAL ODYSSEY IS WAITING FOR YOU, AND I STILL HAVE A FEW SPACES LEFT IF YOU ARE READY TO COMMIT.

Power and The Body

| Power |
It's not often that I post full body pics like this, but it's time for a conversation I've been wanting to have for a long time.
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The one that recognizes that our weight has little to do with what we've been taught, and everything to do with Personal Power.
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Confession: at the end of last year, I put on- what is for me- a lot of weight. Nothing in my diet had changed, but I was healing from some deep wounds that involved Power dynamics & energy vampires- situations I had pushed down, 'saved' to deal with later, where major boundaries had been crossed by people I trusted.
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It's a pattern for me, and let's just say the mother wound was up for some mother f*ing release.
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What I've found for myself & working with thousands of clients is that when the body goes into Protection mode, she puts on weight- even if everything else you are doing is 'by the book'.
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Which means- until we deal with those things we are protecting ourselves from... love- the weight will never come off. Or will, to come right back.
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While I got my body moving again, the regular standbys weren't working- and my riding & psyche were majorly suffering. 
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So I decided to create something that handled BOTH the physical movement AND the internal component by engaging with the Warrior within.
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It became NOT about specifics- perfect alignment, calories burned, what I ate- but instead creating a practice to engage with the fierceness within me to cut through the crap, put in place new boundaries, melt walls & feel the strength in my muscles & bones for what they are:
🔥Holy🔥Sacred🔥Fierce🔥
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As I felt more of this, the pounds magically melted away.
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As I danced with the shadows, I felt stronger.
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As I engaged with my rage, I began to handle things more gracefully.
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And the things I was protecting myself from no longer felt so big & scary.
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It's a path I believe all women need to walk at some point, and so I created Fierce Miracles Movement: Path of the Feminine Warrior to teach what, ultimately, I taught myself first.
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This is the tip of the iceberg on a conversation, and enrollment in the 5 week introductory course on this practice is still open.

The World Needs You

I've stayed relatively quiet here on social media on the political & world matters front for the past several months for two reasons:
1. To me it's an obvious ploy to create chaos & confusion and I want no part in feeding that monster he's very purposely creating and
2. No matter who/ what/ where, our primary responsibility- I believe- is to reach down deep within our own hearts, transmute those shadows being mirrored, and do the Inner Warrior Work required for real shifts to anchor in.
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There are days like today I want to scream about it and then I go back to these boundaries I set.
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But this afternoon I had what was the 10th conversation- AT LEAST- in just a month with yet another woman who has been in a personal Dark Night of the Soul these past few months & needs support.
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And it struck me just how many of us are in the trenches doing it- transmuting some of the nastiest, ugliest shadows to arise- not just for ourselves but for the world.
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No one said being a healer was easy. Even for those who aren't one professionally, so many are doing it for ALL.
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Because I'll be blunt- I went through a doozy of a dark night back in March/ April- and it was a hell of a ride I only knew how to navigate because of the practices & tools I have in place.
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They saved my ass. And I'm no longer going to stand by holding them back.
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The words above are the closing of the Manifesto for both The Heroine's Odyssey & now Fierce Miracles Movement. And today more than ever I feel the urgency of their Call.
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I'm still not going to feed what's happening out there, but I sure as hell am going to do everything I can to make the shifts personally & support as many women as I can to do the same. 
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As I wrote last week, the Age of the Fierce Feminine Warrior is upon us- we've got some major work to do... and it's time we step up to embody all She is.
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Now 🔥

The Embodiment of ALL of you

For the longest time, I thought I needed to compartmentalize all the various aspects of myself- to fit in, to thrive, to not rock the boat too much.
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There was the healer/ priestess/ mystic side that I believed only people who could handle my power were allowed to see.
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And then the business-finance-secret-suit that could nerd out for DAYS on all things strategy, branding, spreadsheets & more.
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The equestrian side who could spend hours talking all things horses but not 'go there' about what I 'really' do in my business.
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And lastly the wife, lover, friend who wants to curl up for hours with the ones I love- and love them hard.
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I've noticed a lot more women these days creating similar buckets for themselves, and I started to get disheartened by it.
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Because there comes a time where it becomes too painful to feel so split. It becomes exhausting being only partially you. It becomes maddening that you never feel totally seen.
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When I talk about the past 8 months of shift & change, the merging of these {and so many other aspects of me} is a massive piece of it. 
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And so a need to no longer even have the compartments arises- even when it's uncomfortable or changes up the status quo of who those around me believe I am.
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Because I'm a healer who can have you roaring in release in one moment & switch right into business coaching in the next. {ahem, because the inner work feeds your business}.
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I'm a wife who talks economics & strategy at dinner.

I'm a friend who sometimes needs to unleash the Seer & Initiator when situations call for it.
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I'm a warrior who somedays just wants to play hard & laugh my ass off.
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And so much more. 
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Embodiment has always been my jam since I began my practice 9 years ago, but it's taken on a whole new flavor now- one in which by fiercely showing up as all of me in every container, I'm holding more space for my clients, friends, loved ones to fiercely show up in all the ways they embody themselves.
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Because at the end of each day, I want to look back in satisfaction that I brought it- ALL. And I want the same for everyone who crosses my path 🔥

Aphrodite's Daughters

If ever there was a book that changed my life, it's this lady right here.
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I was only 17 when I found her, and I'm not exaggerating when I say it's altered my cells & DNA over these 20 years.
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Having gone to Catholic school my whole life, at the time I knew something of mysticism but this took it to a whole new level.
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The first time I understood the word 'Priestess' & felt her in my bones.
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The invocation of temples & rituals that felt strangely familiar.
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The stories of everyday women that ring so very true. 
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Oh my goodness- the stories of the women in these pages!
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And the opening up to the idea that sex is so much more than actual sex. Which over the years took me on a journey I rarely talk about publicly but has been the backbone of so much of my own story.
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Today this book called to me again- as she's done when I need her countless times before. 
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And I realize just how much I've been holding back sharing my own stories lately. 
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A deep need for privacy. A contemplation of where I stand in my industry. A heart protecting herself from other women after some rough waters the past year. And a body needing a break from So. Much. Expansion.
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But feeling the stirrings today to open up again, tell some vulnerable tales, share some truths I've been integrating & landing on.
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Sometimes we shout from the rooftops all that's in our hearts, and other times we hold it close- until it's time.
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The bigger Truth is: marriage {and the journey there} changed me in a ✨beautiful✨ way- and I've been finding my grounding again in a brand new {perhaps actually older than myself} skin.
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So tonight I'm reminded that in our stories, we open the door so all of us can heal. And so the ancient storyteller in me is emerging once again.
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Because Truth.
Because Love.
Because in these, we find ourselves Whole.

The Age of the Fierce Feminine Warrior

Hello love,

I want to start out today thanking all of you from the bottom of my heart for being on this journey with me. It's a strange thing when I think about it some days, how I sit down to write to send my words out to thousands of people. Words and creations that come from deep within my own soul that if this was even 20 years ago, I would not have had the opportunity to share in the ways that we have today.

It doesn't escape me how special this is, and I am grateful every time I hit publish that this exists today and you continue to read and join me on this adventure. So- thank you for being here and being on this journey with me.

As I've said in my last few letters, this winter was one of deep transformation for me. Sparked by the Rite of Passage of marriage, I came face-to-face with all of the ways I show up in the world- and all of the ways that I have not been showing up- fully. 

But more importantly, I saw that so many of YOU were also in the deep throes of transformation of many shapes and forms. As I read your emails back to me and spoke with many of you, a pattern came into view that spanned numerous situations, trials, changes and transitions:

That so many women are being asked to step in with courage to embody the Fierce Feminine Warrior that resides inside each of us. {And men too!!}

The problem I see, is that for millennia we women have been taught to fear this side of ourselves. That's she's bad, dangerous, aggressive, bitchy, over-confident, not 'feminine' or my favorite- 'too intense'. 

{Have you ever been called one of the above?}

But love- she's just about as feminine as we can get. And those descriptions are about as far from the truth as possible. The Fierce Feminine Warrior is unconditional love & respect, but in my experience- the more we deny she's there {or only acknowledge her shadow} the more she creates chaos in our lives- through illness, dis-ease, drama, depression, anxiety, feelings of not enough or unworthy... 

And it's clear to me that as more women step into roles of leadership of all kinds, an embodiment of the Fierce Feminine Warrior is not only welcome, but required for us to succeed. 

Today, I wish to share with you the creation that was born out of this exploration. 

Many of you have been requesting for me to create a container to explore on your own the feminine archetypes again, as well as more ways to get IN the body through movement, yoga, meditation, and practices.

And I am thrilled to announce that I will be teaching in this capacity again- through both online courses and Live Events, and have been blessed with an amazing container to do so:

One Part Mystery School, One Part Workout, One Part Fierce Feminine Warrior

Equals One Badass Embodiment Practice

To learn all about this movement practice and the opportunities to work with Fierce Miracles Movement, please click the image above or visit www.FierceMiraclesMovement.com

There is a lot to explore here, and the flagship Introductory Course: Path of the Feminine Warrior is now open for enrollment {with Early Bird pricing of only $150 until 5/25!}

I believe this is something that every woman should explore at some point in her life, but is especially impactful right now if you:

* Have ever felt a fierceness inside of you and are not sure how to harness it

* Have ever been called any of the names above and known them to not be true. But aren't sure how to reconcile what you do know to be true about your fierceness

* Have an intense desire to create something of meaning in the world and are not sure how to bring all of that power to life

* Are desiring a way to get in your body, move your body, and work with her energy to show up more fully in your life

* Are tired of feeling anxious, depressed, not enough, uninspired, foggy or any other feeling that you know- is not really you.

* Know you are a powerful woman and are ready to fully step into that power

I have a long amazing story about how this program was born this winter, and someday when it feels right I may tell it.

What is important to know is that this entire concept is over 10 years in the making. It brings Full Circle a clear vision I had when I left my corporate finance job in 2008 to teach movement to women in a brand new way that went beyond the yoga studio & philosophy books. At the time the vision was crystal clear as the way I saw I was meant to serve the world, but the technology did not exist yet, and well- I had a lot of growing, learning and serving to do before I was ready.

But when the time is right, we always know it- right? And I am so glad I waited, because this truly makes my heart sing to be bringing it to you today.

So hop on over, see what Fierce Miracles Movement is all about, and be sure to download the FREE Fierce Feminine Warrior Guide to Embodiment.

I can't wait for you to experience this for yourself and I hope that you will join me. If you have any questions feel free to respond to this email and I will get back to you as fast as I can!

In Liberation + Celebration,

The Secret to Living in the Flow

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Life is funny sometimes. With every contraction and expansion, it really is all about fiercely surrendering to what IS, in order to give yourself the power to create miracles.

I’ve found myself saying this in almost every client session and conversation with friends and peers lately. I’m constantly on the lookout for patterns and topics that keep coming up, and so after saying this for maybe the 100th time in a few weeks, I decided to dive deep into what exactly this contraction and expansion pattern is, and how it applies to what you need to know now.

I find this contraction/expansion dynamic shows up most often this way: Just when you think you are rocking and rolling and things are going great, life likes to come along and throw curve-balls, stop you in your tracks, slow things down and remind you of what really matters.

You know those times:

You get a big promotion at work and on your way home, get in a car accident.

Your business hits an all time high, and then you get sick uninspired or a bad diagnosis.

You’ve been feeling for ages it’s time for a big change to step into your Calling and ‘all of a sudden’ you get fired.

These events – essentially contractions – stop you from expanding in the direction you were headed any further. And often, make you wonder if you deserve that ‘great thing’ in the first place.

Back in the day, I used to take these seemingly random emergencies, illnesses, and the like as just that – random. Or in more extreme cases as signs from above that I was bad. Not enough. That I’d messed up or everything in my life was wrong, and I had to fix it. NOW. In some circles, I hear these random acts of contraction being referred to as “Upper Limiting” {from an amazing book called The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks}: when you reach an expansive edge or ceiling in your life, career, or relationship and somehow sub-consciously hold yourself back from expanding any further or truly enjoying the ride.

While I love the concept, the danger I find in calling it Upper Limiting is that when we are expanding and hit an edge or ceiling, there is a tendency to then push, pull, heave ourselves into it to bust through it. I see it in the entrepreneur communities and many corporate settings all the time:

I must be at my ceiling because something bad happened- ‘life was funny that way’- and so I must work my ass off to get past this ‘block’ between me and my future awesomeness.

Sound familiar? We all do it, especially those in the self-development arena. Guilty as charged!

In my latest exploration here, I realized something: Quite frankly, it gets really fucking exhausting to constantly be trying to bust through our ceilings and blocks. In this ever increasing momentum to be more, get higher, have more success, I see so many burning out or worse in trying so hard to bust through these Upper Limits/ Blocks/ whatever the buzz-word-of-the-moment is.

I’ve been there myself, more times than I’d like to admit.

With the aid of all my years of deep studies in yoga, anatomy, esoteric theory and the priestess arts, I’ve come to a new conclusion:

THIS SENSE OF HAVING TO CONSTANTLY BUST THROUGH YOUR BLOCKS TO CONTINUOUSLY EXPAND IS REALLY JUST ANOTHER WAY OF FORCING YOURSELF OUT OF YOUR FLOW AND OFF OF THE PATH THAT IS YOUR OWN INDIVIDUAL DIVINE HEROINE’S JOURNEY.

Instead, what I’ve landed on (softly, gently) is that at the end of the day, everything in our universe, even the ocean and trees,  is constantly in a state of contraction and expansion. It’s a dance. A flow. In each moment, you are either in one of these two states or in a space in-between. The more you can recognize which state you are naturally in, the more you can surrender to what is happening and allow it to work it’s magic – instead of forcing it to be something else.

WHEN WE FORCE OUR RHYTHM TO BE SOMETHING IT IS NOT IN THE MOMENT, WE HURT – OUR BODIES. OUR SOULS. OUR LOVED ONES. OUR TRIBES. OUR PLANET.

Here are the basics: In every moment you are breathing. You inhale, your lungs expand. You exhale, your lungs contract. There are pauses between these actions that are necessary and part of the flow as well – the space in-between.

GO AHEAD, TRY IT: DEEP INHALE {FEEL THE EXPANSION}. HOLD {FEEL THE SPACE IN BETWEEN}. EXHALE COMPLETELY {FEEL THE CONTRACTION}. HOLD {FEEL THE SPACE IN BETWEEN}. REPEAT.

It’s basic anatomy. Every living creature, every cell and atom experience their own version of contraction and expansion. In yoga, the energy behind it is called prana – the life-giving force. Prana at it’s core is simply this flow – in varying speeds and rhythms depending on where you are in your life and the circumstances you are in.

What is important for you to remember is that each part of that life-giving flow is essential to the process. You can not have life without each part of the process. It simply can not exist.

THE CONTRACTION IS JUST AS ESSENTIAL AS THE EXPANSION.

In every moment too, it is not just your lungs that are breathing – your entire body and presence is breathing. Your soul is breathing, your relationships are breathing, and yes, even your business or job is breathing.

Expansion= The times of growth, learning, going past your edge, testing your boundaries, releasing new ideas and offerings to the world. Making more money, growing your family, acquiring more things, being more ‘out’ in the world.

Contraction= Those times where you need to pull back, slow down, recover, take two steps back or maybe even change course entirely. End relationships, stop producing, go hide on an island for a while or simply be in the energy of destruction.

The Spaces in Between= This is where the real magic happens- it’s the time of Empty Presence, where you can hear your soul speak and not have to be doing anything- this is the space of pure being. It’s also the most difficult to master being comfortable in. 

Now, in reading that, what felt like the one you desire the most? For most of us, there is a deep desire to be in the expansion state ALL the time- more more more, grow grow grow. Keep going, keep expanding.

DOES THAT SOUND SUSTAINABLE? DOES THAT HONOR THE NATURAL PROCESS OF LIFE-GIVING FORCE?

The key is to be able to identify in every moment – is this a contraction, an expansion, or a space in-between? Where am I in my flow? What, if anything, do I need to surrender to in this instance?

Am I being asked to take action, or wait? To DO, or to BE? To end something, or begin? To hide in the cave or to step out into the light? Or just learn to be comfortable in the discomfort?

Because the real power in your life for change and growth comes not from forcing yourself OUT of one state to get to another. And real power definitely does not come from trying to be in a state of expansion all the time- it’s practically impossible and you would metaphorically explode if you did (and unfortunately, many people eventually do).

No, the real power comes from:

1. Identifying exactly where you are, with no judgement that it’s good or bad, and using your position in that state as the fuel to determine your next step.

2. Learning to use the spaces in-between as the magic making stage where anything is possible, anything can be ‘figured out’ and anything can be created. The space in between is where you find the answers, ask the questions and surrender to guidance on your next steps.

3. Having the courage to take action on the guidance you hear, trusting it’s what you need, even if it logically does not make sense.

4. Knowing deep down in your bones that in honoring where you naturally are in this rhythm, you will always be taken care of- financially, metaphorically, physically, etc. This is where miracles truly have the chance to happen.

Once you get a hang of this and learn to ride the rhythm by surrendering to it fully, a magical thing happens:

YOU CAN BEGIN TO CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE THE CONTRACTION THAT’S NEEDED – INSTEAD OF A 'RANDOM ACT OF CONTRACTION' CHOOSING YOU TO GET YOUR ATTENTION.

Often this comes in the form of releasing things you need to let go of that no longer serve. You might not like the answer you know you must choose, but you learn to trust it when it comes.

And on the flip side, when you open yourself to the expansion and surrender to it fully, the sky really is the limit.

Most importantly, you learn this valuable lesson: it’s in the spaces in-between that we open, listen and learn what’s next. It’s the spaces in-between that we see that the expansion is possible and isn’t as scary as we thought. We see that the contractions can feel good, necessary, fun even.

AND IT’S IN THESE SPACES IN-BETWEEN THAT WE LEARN HOW TO TRULY LIVE.

I invite you to take a deep look at your own patterns and identify what phase you are currently in, and what actions you need to take to honor your flow.

To help you with the exercise, I’m going to give you a real quick ‘behind the scenes’ look at a critical stage of my own path to show you how I’ve used this:

Back in late 2012, it became clear to me that I was no longer meant to be offering in-person bodywork as my primary service. I was exhausted, tired, had trouble showing up in my relationship (thank goodness he took me back and we eventually married!) and overall just needed a break. One day, I realized that I was in a contraction phase in my life, but behaving as if I was in expansion- bringing on more clients, producing content, pushing my man to take the next steps. And my body felt broken. I was about to explode by forcing myself to expand, when really, I needed to contract. After almost a year of this,

I SURRENDERED.

I stopped forcing and allowed the contraction.  I announced that I was closing my doors, stopped taking new clients, restructured everything and released The Unbridled Life as you know it today. I scheduled a sabbatical for the in-between transition. I sat in the contraction for a few months. I didn’t stop working, but I didn’t try to expand either. I just lived in that state. Eventually, I felt a release happen at the beginning of November 2013- my sabbatical month. I was ready to come out of the state of contraction, and move into expansion. And I had a whole month planned to just BE in a space in-between. To sit and listen to the answers and divine guidance of how to move forward next. And that’s exactly what I did: for 2 more months, while I brought in a few clients, I waited for what my next step would be. Then from this empty space {like magic!} inspirations began streaming through again. 

I COULD HAVE FREAKED OUT. I COULD HAVE ‘LOST IT ALL’ OR KEPT FORCING IT UNTIL I GOT SICK. BUT INSTEAD, I READ MY BODY AND GAVE MY SOUL WHAT SHE NEEDED- A TIME TO CONTRACT IN ORDER TO EXPAND. AND A HEALTHY SPACE IN-BETWEEN.

I've found that my overall 'flow cycle' with this lasts about 4 years- so every 4 years, a contraction comes along that truthfully- I fight at first {as most would do}. But once I surrender, magic happens. If you do the math you will see that these past few months have been a ‘space in-between’ stage in The Unbridled Life. 2016 brought with it some of the greatest expansions of my life so far- getting married, buying my dream horse, literally stepping into many things that had been visions for years

It’s been so amazing, and has really shown me what my edges are- when to play with them and when to step back. With all of this expansion, I went into a deep contraction at the end of last year. I put projects on hold, hit pause on the podcast and scrapped the plan for two programs that no longer felt in alignment- though on paper they were almost a guaranteed 'success'. 

Knowing I was in the contraction phase once again, I was able to take action and choose the contractions- instead of the contractions choosing me to get my attention.

I could have chosen to keep steamrolling forward, but if I have learned anything over the years is that doing so only leads to more trouble in the long-run, and I wouldn't be honoring all that I teach if I had done so.

After so much contraction, in late-March I felt the tide turn into the often-uncomfortable-but-glorious in-between stage, where I needed to spend the last month or two in Empty Presence. To break the contraction and listen to what my soul needed for me to do to enter the next expansion.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to spend 4 days alone in almost complete silence ending this in-between phase for myself. Honoring the gifts she brought me, letting her go, and stepping fully into the expansion realm once again. I couldn't have planned it but the time off came exactly when I needed it- which is exactly the point. When we are truly living in the flow, we get exactly what we need, exactly when we need it- even when it defies all logic, planning & projections.

It’s clear that there is more expansion ready to take place now from the space I cleared in this process- and let me tell you the miracles that come from allowing this flow are truly breathtaking.

So my challenge for you today is to ask yourself- where are you in your own flow, and what do you need to do- or NOT do- to honor where you naturally are right now?

In Liberation + Celebration,

P.S. I've had several requests lately asking when I will be bringing The Unbridled Apprenticeship back and so I've decided to open up two spaces again for this very special program near and dear to my heart. Normally I take 2 women at a time in this program, but I've been seeing a deep need for mentorship in leadership and business emerging with many soulful entrepreneurs & healers. If you've been called to join The Unbridled Apprenticeship, applications are now open. Please apply below.

 

 

The Paradox of Hell Yes and Not...

 

Hello Love,

Over the past several weeks I've been having many discussions around honoring your timing, your pace, and knowing what is right for right now- and what isn't. It seems that in the quickening of so much happening in individual, community & global circles, the importance of knowing your truth, your timing, and your values is becoming more important than ever. 

All my life, I've been a Leap of Faith devotee. Time after time seeing the vision before me, knowing when I'm a Yes, and gathering all the courage I have to go for it- often without even looking for the net.

Even when I had no idea how, or didn't have all the resources I needed at the time. My pace has been almost exclusively leap of faith pace- or as some would say a full gallop- and for the most part that's worked for me.

And from what I know about many of you, I have a feeling you can relate. 

Every time it's been a blessing- though often in ways I never would expect.

Many times I've fallen flat on my face- literally & metaphorically.

{And have the scars to prove it}

Sometimes it's been quite a comedy of errors that ensued as I navigated the twists and turns of the decision.

But always right- always.

Last year, something utterly primal shifted within me. A grounded & rooted energy that had previously felt just-out-of-reach. A keener eye and more discerning heart emerged. A body ready to take me further, strengthened.

And then- the Visions of the next stage{s} began to emerge. Some dazzling, some surprising, some downright scary as hell.

But ALL of them, a massive HELL YES.

The old me would have Leaped to it- daring all, risking all to do it NOW. Even when the cards weren't lined up properly. Or the situation was not exactly what I wanted, but was oh-so-very-close. In fact last year I did leap into something by partnering with a farm to offer Equine Sessions, but I learned the important lesson that no matter how excited we are to start something, it's just as important to wait for what it truly the right situation instead of leaping at the first prospect to come along. 

And so, this rooted shift brought with it a new paradox to explore...Being a full Yes to something, while also honoring that maybe it's Not Yet, or Not This, or Not Quite- but close.

Which for a Leap of Faith-er like myself, felt so foreign.

Patience has not always been my strong suit, and as an entrepreneur it becomes almost second nature to leap at every opportunity because you never know when one would come along again.

I invite you to stop for a moment and ask yourself if you can relate in any situations in your own life? If so what? And how did you move forward?

This new exploration is one that I've been in for the past year, and one I've seen many of of my peers & clients exploring as well. It's a reason why I don't send newsletters as much anymore- because it became important for me to sit with every concept and really steep in it myself before hitting send, to teach from a grounded place, and to practice this new flow in every area of my life- especially how I communicate.

How might this paradox of Hell Yes but Not Yet show up for you?

It appears as Deep Calls into some larger vision that needs time.

Knowings of what you want deeper into the future than you've ever dared to look before.

Courage to take smaller steps to get further in the long run- for some of you for the first time ever.

And a deeper level of trust & surrender than I've ever known or seen before.

How do we navigate being a full YES AND know- it's NOT QUITE TIME- YET. Or it's not quite this- yet. Or... or.... or.

How do we see the bigger picture AND honor the smaller steps it takes to get there?

How do we stay in the present & enjoy the journey AND not get caught up in the Future Tripping that comes with such knowings?

How do we navigate a deep, deep, deeper still trust in timing & right place & next steps.... Even when we can taste and feel what's coming?

These first few months of 2017 I've been dancing in this Paradox intensely- making decisions, planning, facing fears and old triggers I thought I had 'mastered' {ahem- we never Master, we only continue to go deeper...}.

I've had chances to Leap, yet known it would be premature. I've tasted & smelled what's coming while being thrown on my knees to be present to NOW.

I've faced anger & ecstasy, hopelessness & peace, fear & courage.

All the while dancing in the trust: when the time is right I'll KNOW, while simultaneously enjoying the adventure along the way.

Where might you be dancing in this paradox yourself right now? Where do you know deep down in your heart you are wanting to go, explore, create, dive deeper, move forward?

Is it time yet? Are the circumstances right? Are there maybe some rules you need to break, fears you need to overcome, timing you need to trust first?

Or is the delay a sneaky way to hold yourself back or self-sabotage your momentum?

Or do you have absolutely no idea?

These are the questions to ask yourself if you feel that longing and readiness, but somehow know that stepping back to look at the larger picture is also in order. 

I'd love to hear how this is showing up in your life right now, so feel free to respond to this email or post about it on social media (be sure to tag me!).

As for me, I have a few visions I can see so clearly right now that I am a full on Hell Yes to- and in many ways I also know that right now is not the exact time. The vision of owning a farm near a beach to hold retreats & immersions with animals for deep healing. Running an intimate pizza restaurant on the property {I make a damn good pizza from scratch and LOVE feeding people}. Several books I want to write. The possibility of motherhood. All here. All brewing. And yet none quite ripe yet.

Just like if we picked the grapes before they are ready, it might make sour wine- so too we need to treat our Visions. 

Giving them the chance to grow. To be nurtured. To be trusted that they will lead us exactly where we need to be, exactly when we need to be there. 

In Liberation & Celebration,

 

P.S. I heard from quite a few of you since the launch of my new site that this is exactly how you are feeling about the programs I have on offer- being a Full Yes while simultaneously not knowing if it was the right timing or exactly what you are looking for. So for this reason, I want to offer something I've never done before. 

between Now and May 5th, I'm offering $300 Off a stand-alone Awaken Intensive or $1,000 off Embody.

As I've been exploring this paradox, old structures and ways of being are falling apart. And a fierce rebellious side of me has been wanting to dance with all the structures I have in place. Break some rules. Do things differently. Shake it up a bit.

If you've been eyeing one of my programs and wanting to work with me, then let's do something about it. 

I'm making space for 4 of these discounted Programs, so if this sounds like something you want, I highly recommend you apply sooner than later.

Simply Apply below. I can't wait to see what we can create for you!

 

 

 

The Journey of Fierce Miracles

 

Hello Love,

I want to start off today by saying a huge THANK YOU to all of the lovely emails, messages and responses to the new website launched a few weeks ago. It still amazes me how effortlessly things can come together when we are truly ready for expansion. I've been spending time with your requests and responses and preparing a few exciting events in the coming weeks and months!

As those of you who have been with me for many years know, The Unbridled Life started with a series of dreams.

Like- actual dreams during the night. I started to notice this series of dreams in 2011, and over the course of the years they helped guide me to make some serious changes in my life, including how I was running my then-bodywork based business. When I mentioned these dreams to other healers and peers at the time, almost everyone had some story to relate to them.

The dreams always had some flavor of the following:

It's nighttime, and everything is pitch black except light emanating from something just outside my reach. I feel trapped. All around me are 4 walls that seem to be closing in from all directions. As the night goes on, the space physically stays the same size but feels smaller and smaller by the minute. My body starts to thrash and I try to break free of whatever it is that is holding me here. 

Yet somehow I know- nothing is holding me here. I'm just not ready to see that Truth yet.

The pace quickens and my breathing gets heavier as I push and pull, kick and yell for anyone- ANYONE- to come save me.

But of course no one is coming- not yet anyway. It's a journey I need to figure out myself. 

And though I know that, I get angry as all hell that nothing I am doing is working.

My body feels HUGE. And I realize that I'm not in my human form, but have become a big, black horse. Eyes bulging and red, frantically wanting out of the tight stall I've found myself in.

Dreams like this always have some twist or turn thrown in- a window I can look out, or huge saddles and bridles tied to my face that feel like the weight of the world. And no matter what I do, the more effort I put into trying to break free, the more tied down I become.

Until I reach a point of exhaustion from the fight. A body full of sweat and tears and heaving rage, no longer with the strength to continue. And so I collapse in the corner in what some would call Surrender- but not of the spiritual kind.

But the ending to these dreams is always the same:

In the exhaustion following the fight & rage, A turning of my head towards the light. A realization that all along, there were no ties that bound me or leather that burdened me. And that it wasn't four solid walls after all, but rather an airy stall with a huge door.

Wide Open. 

Like a miracle.

Ready for me to simply walk out whenever I was ready. And in the dreams I always walk out- radiant, whole, stronger for the fight & wiser for the knowing that I actually had the choice to walk free all along.

And with that a realization that it was the fight that was exhausting me, not the actual circumstances- those were easy to change. 

But the work, the deeper work these dreams revealed to me was to address the fight. To face all those places where I was fighting instead of flowing, giving up instead of choosing, and putting myself in circumstances that no longer felt in alignment for me.

I'm sure at some point in your life, you've felt some version of the above. It may not be a horse in a stall but some other metaphor for feeling trapped with seemingly no way out.

For the past 5+ years, dreams exactly like this one have been a teacher for me along my path to healing & embodiment. At first they disturbed me, until I made the choice to use them as a guide for what is showing up in my life- and as fuel to take action.

What I learned from exploring the lessons in these dreams is that life is going to happen to all of us, and absolutely anything can feel like a stall that holds us back or makes us feel trapped.

The lesson- nay- the real GOLD- is in realizing that no matter what the circumstances, it's our responsibility to fiercely show up for ourselves in ALL areas of our lives so that we can actively choose our freedom. And from this place of sovereignty, of choice, of true power- Miracles have the open door to arrive. 

These dreams formed the basis of The Unbridled Life which I formally opened in 2013. Here and there over the years these dreams have returned to refresh the lesson. Then 10 months ago, I fell off a spooky school horse in my riding lessons one time too many, and a big, black horse named Oliver entered my life. 

By fiercely showing up for myself in my desire to commune with horses again & showing up even when I really didn't want to, I came face-to-face with the horse literally from my dreams. Same markings. Same presence. Same attitude. Who literally came up for sale exactly when I was ready for him.

And so Oliver and I have been on a journey to discover deeper layers of truth of what The Unbridled Life really means- and what it doesn't.

In this time, I began to use a phrase that came to me but I wasn't even sure of what it meant entirely-

Fierce Miracles

You see- I've always been a bit of a Kali-esque woman. Not the soft & sweet kind of goddess, but rather the fierce warrior who takes no shit and stands up for who she is- ALL of who she is- with no apologies. In the midst of a year of planning a wedding and immersing myself deep in the Rite of Passage of sacred union with my love, I'd all but abandoned this fierce side of myself in favor of a more romantic, feminine flavor I was trying on for size.

But yet, the dreams like the one above returned and the mantra of Fierce Miracles persisted. 

I couldn't help but laugh. Fierce Miracles sounded right up my alley, but then I’d find myself asking- How do fierce and miracles even belong in the same sentence? 

My relationship with my horse Oliver seems to be the initiation into exactly what this means and has taught me this:

When in the presence of a horse, it is absolutely necessary to be in your true power. You can't lie to them. You can't hide your true feelings. And you certainly can't pretend to know what you are doing. In fact- it’s dangerous to even try.

But what do you do when faced with a mirror so strong you can't avoid looking at the parts of yourself that scare you?

Well- you can either turn away from the open door and stay stuck in that confining stall forever.

Or you can Fiercely look in the mirror, get in your body, ask the hard questions, and CHOOSE to show up for yourself in all your glory and mess.

And from this place of Fiercely Choosing YOU- Miracles have the permission to enter your life.

For the past few months- truthfully- it's felt like I've been back in that stall again- raging against the walls in the dark not knowing which way was out. Or even that there was a way out. Like the descent of Persephone, undergoing any Rite of Passage- even extremely happy ones- tend to bring us face-to-face with our next levels of shadows.

So for the past few months, I've been sitting with this and learning the ropes of it myself all over again. Of seeing where I have been fighting- circumstances, who I really am, what I really want. Of looking at where I've given away my power. Of being willing to look out that open stall door and choose the future I'm ready to claim.

Sometimes we need to be willing to travel into the depths again to ride to even greater heights. 

This Fierce Miracles: A 40 Day Embodiment Practice is what I developed to navigate this growth filled time of my life. It is great if you've been feeling stuck, anxious, depressed, not good in your body, tired or overall like something just feels off. 

Or like something needs to change, but you have no idea what. Maybe you are struggling in one area yet thriving in others, or everything has an energy of hard attached to it right now.

Even if you are feeling fantastic, this practice is an opportunity to reset, re-commit, and re-energize you in how you show up for yourself- and the world- daily.

 

If you've done a 40 Day practice with me in the past, this one is a little different. All of the written materials are in one place with the eBook, so you don't need to sign up for another list or be bogged down with daily emails.

Instead, you choose your pace. You choose when you start and end. You choose how deep you go and do so in your own rhythm and flow.

I've also included in the bundle a 30 page Shakti Practices Guide for those of you who are desiring deeper Goddess work in your life.

The Fierce Miracles: A 40 Day Embodiment Practice is now for sale on my website. For this weekend to celebrate spring and Easter, it will be on sale from the regular price of $44 to $22 until Monday, April 16th.

 

I myself will be doing the practice live on social media with the hashtags #FierceMiracles and #40DaysofEmbodiment beginning Easter Sunday- April 16, 2017. Please join me in using them as well so we can be on this journey together!

I'll be bringing in various multimedia platforms- so make sure you are following me on my Facebook business page HERE and The Unbridled Life Podcast HERE.

I hope you enjoy this should you choose to buy the book and participate. I'd love to hear how the practice is going for you so be sure to tag me or respond to this email. 

It's time to get fierce in the cultivation of Miracles!

In Liberation + Celebration,

The Return to Light

Hello Love,

I find it so incredible how every year, the wheel of life turns and the seasons reflect what is happening on the inner journey, and the inner journey reflects what is happening on the outer.

With Spring Equinox yesterday, the feeling I saw everywhere is undeniable-

The Return to Light

When the dark and the light are equal, with the light beginning to edge out the dark today. I can't tell you how many emails and conversations I've had over the past few days of SO many feeling almost in the final death throes of whatever challenges they faced this winter. 

Or as I like to call them, Initiations.

I myself was in major Initiation/ Spring Cleaning mode the past few weeks. As I wrote last time, I had some major realizations around how I show up in the world and making the decision that the only way I'm guiding my company & services going forward is by honoring the guidance that comes from deep within my own heart and the Divine- and saying No More to others telling me how my business should be run.

It's a lesson every entrepreneur experiences at some point in their journey, but also executives, mothers, managers, creatives, writers.... and pretty much everyone I know. The shadow of believing others may know better than we do about what we need to do, who we need to be, show we need to show up... and giving up our authority- and power- in the process.

In a few days I will be sending you a very special episode of The Unbridled Life Podcast that dives into what happens when we finally DO take our power back- from the job, the expert, the situation, the circumstances, the fight, the sticky situation.

This is a topic I'm passionate about and I can't wait to start this conversation with you.

In this exploration as I meditated on what needed to be said, before I hit record I had a flash of insight that something was energetically 'off' with my website. So I began to tinker around and went back to read old blog posts that I've written over the years. In typical fashion I 'went for it' and decided to start at the beginning- literally with my very first blog post written in 2008!

What was fascinating to me as I read over 300 posts from the past 9 years was the patterns, the shifts and the growth that occurred- even when at the time I would have said it was anything BUT growth.

In so many circles there is such a HUGE emphasis on staying in the present or visioning into the future and while I'm a full stand for both, there is something INCREDIBLY liberating to- once in awhile- look back and see things from a wider lens by examining the past. 

I view healing as a spiral- a spiral up towards the Light- and taking that look back helps you see how far you have come, the courage it took to get where you are today, and how differently you handle situations now than you did in the past. 

The idea is not to get stuck in the past, but to use it for inspiration in your Liberation.

For today I want to share with you my own Return to the Light that came from this exploration myself:

A brand new home for The Unbridled Life at www.Theunbridledlife.com

In the past launching a new website has felt like labor- meetings and spreadsheets, months of decisions and editors, developers, last minute extra costs, copywriting until my eyes crossed, and late nights nitpicking words and graphics. In essence, it's always felt HARD.

But this time it was different- so much clarity, so much flow, and the whole thing done in less than a week- with zero sleepless nights. When we truly let go of the reins and trust the guidance we are being gifted, I swear even the toughest things all of sudden can become delightful experiences.

To view the new website, please click HERE or below.

I poured my heart and soul into this latest iteration of sharing with you the best of what I can offer. This new site now provides a stronger framework to bring you more of what you have been requesting- video, interviews, additional live free courses, community, a cohesive blog... and so much more.

In my own Initiation leading up to this, several priorities became important for me to uphold all of the values of The Unbridled Life:

  1. Transparency- Over the past few months I've come to many conclusions of what feels in integrity for me going forward. One of my promises to you now is full transparency in my pricing. Every program now has the Investment clearly stated on the individual program page so you can make an informed decision and TRUST your heart before Applying. I know that the simple act of Applying is- in actuality- not so simple and takes an enormous amount of Courage for many of you, so I hope this helps you in that process of trusting yourself and your intuition.
  2. Community- Over the years I have held several free events & courses and each time, started a new Facebook Group to hold the space. It became evident to me after the ENOUGH event last month that while this was great at the time, we've lost cohesiveness over the years in bringing together community and that it is time for the birth of ONE Tribe. Any woman can join, regardless if you have participated in a course or not. So as of today, please join me in the brand new The Unbridled Life Tribe
  3. Free Library- There is now a Free Library of several courses available- from 5 Day Adventures to 40 Day Practices, I've consolidated many of the events you know and love so that you can join any of them at any time- not just when they are run as live events! I hope you LOVE exploring them! More will be added in the coming months- the first to be announced in a few days!
  4. Trust- YOU are what inspires me everyday to continue writing, to share my story, to create experiences, and to offer my services for those who are ready. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here. So I have now added a Contact form where you can send suggestions, ideas, questions and other inspirations to share what you most want to explore. Have an idea for a Podcast topic? I'd love to hear it! Want me to write/ teach more on something? Please let me know!
  5. Live Events- This is perhaps the 'Most Requested' item I receive on a weekly basis and I'm finally ready to again begin offering Live, in-person group experiences knows as The Unbridled Experience LIVE. Dates have been set and more information will be released in April. 
  6. Creating a Movement- It's a subtle shift, but switching to the main URL being www.TheUnbridledLife.com is a monumental moment. It's against what I've been 'taught' about branding. It takes the spotlight off me. And it creates the energetic space to birth what I've ALWAYS felt The Unbridled Life was destined to become- A Movement. The vision of millions of women (and men!) stepping into full Embodiment through Trust, Surrender, Grace, Power & a hearty belief in Fierce Miracles has become stronger over the years- and now it feels time to act on many of the ways I envision that coming to life. Small steps lead to massive leaps of faith ;) 

And SO much more. I hope you enjoy this new place to explore your own Unbridled Life and please stay tuned for the special podcast episode coming in a few days. 

But more importantly:

Thank You.

Thank You

Thank You.

Thank You.

You are the reason I keep showing up, keep creating, keep exploring the shadow and the light. I ask God every morning before I get out of bed "How may I serve you today?" and this new home is the most recent answer. I can't wait for you to see what else I am creating for you <3 

In Liberation + Celebration.

 

 

Two Steps Forward

 

Hello Love,

I want to start off today expressing so much gratitude for all of you who have walked this path with me- whether it's been just a few weeks or several years- it's truly meant the world to me that you open my emails, read my words, join my programs and connect with me on social media and in-person.

THANK YOU!

I've been in contemplation of this energy of spring that we are entering and how much it impacts our journey- no matter where we are. It was like a rush of intense energy at the beginning of the year as so many- including myself- set out on huge goals and initiatives for 2017.

And then as the past few months have rolled by, I've noticed an energy of sinking back into the year. Reorganizing of plans. Resetting of priorities. Reviewing what is true to our hearts, and what maybe came more from ego.

Almost as if in the depths of winter the lighthouse of Big Visions was the beacon that kept so many of you going through the long winter nights. And as the days have lengthened & warmer days have tip-toed in, a softening and mellowing into the deeper truths of what our hearts truly want has emerged.

Have you been experiencing this shift as well? Or perhaps not quite a shift but an upheaval?

I believe it's natural on any path that you are on for the winds to change and the tides to shift, and to adjust the steps we are taking accordingly.

You see, sometimes walking this path of being a writer, healer AND running a business can be quite the wild ride. To make it all work can get confusing with twists & turns, new adventures that pop up out of nowhere and taking risks we never expected to take.

But no matter what industry you are in, the journey is the same.

Sometimes it can feel like we're taking two steps forward and then one step back.... or three three steps back at times ;)

Sometimes we need to say Yes to something to learn it just isn't our way- and then course correct in the process.

Sometimes a choice will feel SO clear, and SO right to put into action and then.... you get a lesson you weren't expecting, a miracle in the mess you created, and an opportunity to learn from what transpired, which propels you into your next level of expansion.

Not in the way you thought it would, but definitely in the way you needed.

Sometimes it can feel like massive boulders stand in our path, or huge canyons suddenly appear and we have no idea how we will get around or across them.

And then sometimes the temptation will come along to hitch a ride with someone else going the same direction, and we lose our sense of trusting our own internal directions and intuition.

I've received emails from many of you lately feeling one of the above- or more versions it would take too long to list.

The truth is, no matter what path you are on- entrepreneurship, being a creative, working in corporate, raising a family, retired...- the path belongs to YOU and only you.

What I have found to be true is this:

NAVIGATING WHERE YOU ARE GOING AND WHAT YOU ARE CREATING IN YOUR LIFE TAKES A COMBINATION OF FIERCE TENACITY MIXED WITH UTTER SURRENDER TO LETTING GRACE TAKE THE LEAD.

 

Sprinkle in a healthy belief in miracles and you've got yourself a winning combo.

Sounds easy right?

Then why do so many of us still struggle with it? With the anxiety, the disbelief, the doubts, the nagging feelings, the disconnection from our bodies, the judgement of our prior steps...

I've been pondering this one a lot lately, and there are probably a million and one answers for each situation and each person who has experienced any of the above.

But what seems is the universal key in all of this is:

TRUST

I've written about Trust here a lot of over the years- in fact it was one of my very first blog posts all the way back in 2007! Over the years this idea of Trusting not just yourself, but in the bigger plan as well, has shifted and grown as I have.

And what feels more important now more than ever is a Trust that even if things don't turn out as you had hoped, even if the Big Vision looked totally different than you imagined, or it appears like there is a massive boulder in your way. Even if it feels like you have taken multiple steps backwards instead of forwards {hint: you haven't}-

KEEP MOVING FORWARD

I'll say it again and again and again. It can be tempting when things don't work out the way you expect them too to throw in the towel and try another way. But I guarantee that if you keep moving forward- even teeny tiny baby steps in some direction- the tide will shift and you'll begin to feel like you are back in the flow.

How?

I believe there are many ways to keep moving forward, but what I've found most effective is starting your day with a practice of connecting- inwards with yourself and outwards with the Divine- in whatever shape and name you define the Divine.

Taking some quiet time for yourself before you do anything else and:

  1. Ask for guidance on your next steps
  2. Express your gratitude
  3. Connect with your inner knowing through stillness
  4. Ask if the roadblocks you are experiencing are there to test your strength or commitment, or are they sending you in another direction altogether
  5. Ask: How am I being called to serve today? and
  6. Open yourself to receive the miracles that are just waiting for you to say Yes.

It was through this practice in the past few weeks that I've been doing a bit of a course correction myself. You see, I started off 2017 with one of those Big Visions to get me through those winter months and set a BIG plan in motion to bring it to life. I hired the business coach. I invested in the platforms. I read the books and changed course because Harvard Business Review said to focus on x instead of y. I created an editorial calendar for the first time EVER in my business.

I did all the things one is supposed to do.... and....

It all felt OFF. 

LIKE- NOT JUST OFF, BUT IN SOME WAY LIKE A HUGE FEAR OF MINE WAS COMING TO LIFE BEFORE MY EYES AND A PART OF MY SOUL WAS DYING IN THE PROCESS.

And I felt STUCK.

But then this Fierce Miracle happened:

As I've talked about on my Podcast, returning to riding horses has been the most humbling experience of my adult life. Something that used to be full of adventure & freedom as a teenager now brings me face-to-face with most of my joys AND all my triggers- daily. It's why I keep riding day in and day out- because it is pushing me to ALL my edges in each step forward.

And the thing that has been my greatest fear these past 15 months is that a horse would take off with me- galloping out of control from a spook or moment of crazy.

When I took a few falls last spring they definitely shook me up, but for some reason falling didn't seem as scary as an out of control horse.

So when I bought Oliver- who is 17'1 {meaning: HUGE} but VERY calm, slow & well- lazy- I began to TRUST that all would be ok.... but a part of me still feared a moment of chaos.

So for the past 8 months I've held back. Held us back. Built my strength, took baby steps, but still every ride a small part of me gripped on TIGHT to save us {me} from the just-in-case.

Well- that gripping wasn't serving anyone, least of all me. And I'll be the first to admit it was transferring into other areas of my life.

And then, as miracles tend to do: IT HAPPENED.
A spook.
A take-off across the arena at full speed.
An instinct that rushed through me saying 'Oh HELL NO I'm not falling off this horse'.
And a body that knew exactly what to do without me thinking, that had the strength to pull it off, and kept me securely in that saddle.

This is why we work so hard, even at the baby steps.
This is why we get honest about our fears and trust we can face them when it happens.
This is why we create the experiences to face them.
This is why we take care of our bodies & trust her wisdom even when it doesn't make logical sense.

And this is why we take step after step after step- even when we are scared, even when it brings up all of the stuff we don't want to look at, even when it would be so much 'easier' not to.

It may seem like a small thing, but often the 'greatest fear monsters' are just that- small. It just takes big courage to face them.

SOMETHING ABOUT THIS INCIDENT SHOOK ME TO THE CORE

I had no problem getting back in the saddle and riding again, but it shook me up just enough to look hard in the mirror and admit to myself that soul death I was feeling but denying.

And so- I let myself mourn- what exactly I don't know. But mourning it certainly was- there is no doubt about it.

In that time, it felt like instead of taking those massive leaps forward I had planned, I had instead taken several steps backwards.

OR FALLING TO GRACE

But then I saw the truth- that it was in no way steps backwards. Instead, the lessons I learned over those 3 months were pure gold in teaching me all of the ways that I don't want to do things, and all of the ways that I do.

And ultimately, how the Big Vision was a sneaky cover-up for an even bigger vision that looked smaller on paper, but that my heart was longing for more than anything else in the world.

You can't put a price-tag on such a valuable lesson.

And so- I ramped up my daily practice described above and went deep into the heart of longing.... and hit delete on the plan and returned to where The Unbridled Life has always thrived- in service to the Divine and what is ready to come through me.

I'll be sharing more of what this means over the coming weeks, but in the meantime I want to say this:

I CONSIDER THESE NEWSLETTERS & THIS TRIBE WE'VE CREATED SACRED TERRITORY.

Yes- I'm creating some fun free experiences for you in the coming months because I ADORE creating them {one of which I am announcing next week}.

Yes- the Podcast will continue but I'm redirecting a few episodes- so stay tuned {Plus iTunes changed it back to the Unbridled Life Podcast title, so divine wink noted to scrap the name-change ;)}

Yes- I still have Programs, groups and private sessions open for enrollment because that is how I serve in my fullest is through the gift God gave me of healing & embodiment work. {And Yes- there are spaces open now if you wish to Apply}

But I no longer care what Harvard Business Review or any other expert thinks I should offer or what I should write or how I should sell- instead

I'LL CONTINUE TO CREATE OFFERINGS FROM MY HEART, SHARE THEM WITH YOU AND TRUST:

THAT THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE READY, WILL KNOW WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.

But you will only hear from me here when I have something True, Sacred & Exciting to share with you- it's my renewed litmus test for all posts and communications going forward. I've longed believed that my journey is not just for me, but is a way that I serve in sharing the words that flow through me to describe it.

And for that reason, I've also committed to self-publish a heart project book by the end of the year. That part of my soul that felt like she was dying? It was the part that has wanted to bring this to life and was tired of feeling cut off and ignored. And so I'm embarking on the journey of what it takes to bring a project like this to life.

I'm one part terrified, one part have no idea how the finances & time & inspiration will come together to make it work, one part full of Trust that it will, one part excited like a little kid and about twenty parts READY.

And so I leave you with a challenge today to ask yourself:

What steps forward are you putting off or avoiding?

What steps forward have you taken that you feel like you need to course correct?

What steps forward are you ready to commit to today?

I'd love to hear your answers so email me anytime. I look forward to hearing more about your journey.

In Liberation + Celebration,

 

P.S. Several women emailed me after the doors to The Unbridled Wealth Immersion closed asking if I am still doing 1:1 Work and the answer is a resounding YES!

In fact- I've opened up additional spaces AND brought back my most popular 1:1 program ever- REVEAL: 12 Week Journey There is one thing that has always been a constant and that is my absolute devotion to my 1:1 programs and clients who I serve in this capacity. So if you are ready, I'm ready for you. Simply Apply Here to take your next step forward.

The Crossroads

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Hello Brave Heart,

I don’t know what it is, but something about this year already feels radically different. Call it something in the air, call it a shift in energy, call it whatever you desire, but there is a certain….something… ALIVE.... That I haven’t felt at the start of a year in a very long time.

Can you feel it too?

I've spent the past few weeks deep in inquiry about what I wanted to bring to the metaphorical table this year, and a word began to emerge that frankly- scared me at first.

LEGACY

Have you ever done that? Chosen a word, goal, resolution or intention for something {a new year, a project, a phase of your life} and realized that the intention was so edgy, so scary… you sort of wanted to puke?

Well that’s exactly what happened with mine. I won’t get into the details, but let’s just say I had a glorious tantrum about it for a hot minute about all of the implications a word like Legacy would entail- business legacy, family legacy, did this mean children (??) and the list went on.

But then after the initial shock, I began to really sink into just how much fun this could be. And how absolutely essential it is at this time- perhaps for ALL of us- to explore.

You see, I’ve been holding something really close to my heart the past few months, and it’s been a source of both radical honesty with myself and sheer confusion.

I debated sharing this for some time, but then realized that in my raw truth, it was possible that others could be set free in theirs. In your emails and sessions I've seen many of you in similar places and if there is one thing I'm always a stand for, it's telling the Truth.

2016 turned out to be the year that I had to get totally naked with MYSELF to find the true gold hidden beneath the walls I had build in various parts of my life. And a big piece of this getting naked was that over the past year, I started to see the self-development field, coaching, healing, yoga- the whole industry- in a new light. I had met a lot of teachers and was privy to see what happens behind the scenes of a lot of the brands that people know and love.

AND RADICAL TRUTH: I REALLY DID NOT LIKE WHAT I SAW.

It’s not important the what’s or who’s or when’s. And while none of it was new information for me (I’d actually been seeing these things for quite a few years), what was new was this growing sense inside myself that I no longer wanted to be associated with it.

It was as if- seemingly overnight- the culture had radically shifted:

The economist in me was utterly fascinated by the patterns emerging.

The finance maven in me saw the immediate holes & leaks of the business dealings.

The healer side of me was appalled that a foundation focused on the integrity of healing & transformation had shifted so quickly into something... else.

And the Unbridled Warrior in me- well she just wanted to lead the charge to fight it all.

It was shockingly similar to the feeling I began to have 9 years ago when I was in the finance industry and saw a lot of shady dealings happening behind the scenes. Ever seen The Big Short? Yeah- I knew about all of that before the public did. And it did not sit well with me.

{It's very important to note before I move on: in my actual sessions, intensives and interactions with clients, this feeling of unease was far from what I felt. I LOVE every minute of the actual work I do. My work fulfills me on levels I never knew were possible. It was the 'other' parts of the business and seeing what was happening in the industry as a whole that really got under my skin}

Back then by 2008- I made the decision to leave finance altogether. The patterns I was seeing and lack of integrity was enough to move on. It was a rocky road for a while, but to this day it is still one of the best choices I’ve ever made.

BUT THIS TIME WHEN THESE FEELINGS AROSE AGAIN IT FELT RADICALLY DIFFERENT. THAT WHILE THE CHOICES APPEARED THE SAME, THIS WAS A WHOLE NEW RODEO.

And so I prayed- a lot. And I found my place of peace in the saddle again. And I got married. And I continued to grow my business with clients who felt really amazing to bring on and said good-bye to those who I no longer felt in alignment with. I discussed my feelings with the closest of my inner circle of what felt most in integrity for me.

Then it was a conversation with my mom Bernadette Blackstock at- of all places- Disneyland that drove it all home.

A serial entrepreneur herself who now runs a large non-profit and has even been honored at The White House for her work, she laid it out for me super raw & real in line for The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror (I swear my life really happens in these funny ironic ways):

I WAS AT A CROSSROADS {AND HERE’S WHERE I WANT YOU TO REALLY LOOK AND ASK YOURSELF IF YOU ARE AT A CROSSROADS TOO, AND HOW YOU ARE GOING TO RESPOND}

A Crossroads of Choice:

Road #1: The Road of staying despite my misgivings and continuing business as usual- ignoring what I was seeing

OR
Road #2: The Road of leaving and finding something new altogether
OR
Road #3: Take {what felt like} the seemingly hardest road of all- Stay and rock the boat a little {or a lot}. Be the voice of change. Be the stand for what’s possible. And create a Legacy in alignment & integrity with the vision of what I know is possible in an industry that helps millions of lives daily.

Thank goodness we were in a public place with happy children standing around or else I might have screamed in frustration. But something happened instead- being in the happiest place on earth I saw just how powerful that Road #3 is. I’d taken Road #1 and #2 before at various times in my life, but #3 was whole new territory.

Disneyland itself was a perfect example of it. A legacy created on the foundation of what Walt Disney saw as the high-standard in entertainment, wonder, and creativity. And by creating that Legacy, he not only changed the game, he created a new one.

And so, my choice became strikingly clear. Road #3- all the way.

It took a few months to hash out what that looks like, some serious deep dives into what I want to create, and a letting go of something I had spent years developing, but no longer felt in alignment with this higher purpose and cause.

And the beauty hidden in the muck is that- the patterns I was seeing out there that were bothering me & causing my discomfort, revealed to me a missing piece not just in this industry but every industry that- lo and behold- was something I am passionately invested in talking about more- wealth. Not wealth as you may classically think of only in money terms, but TRUE WEALTH.

THE KIND OF WEALTH THAT FEEDS YOU, BREATHES YOU, FULFILLS YOU.

In short- the kind of Wealth that money can't buy. Which has been my passion since I took my first Economics class at 18 years old and well- a love affair was born that led me through the halls of academia, the paved stones of Wall Street and the unbridled adventure of entrepreneurship.

It’s been a humbling process, and one in which I know I am not alone. A large number of you have been writing to me feeling at a crossroads, or coming to your sessions here with similar questions in your heart.

AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW- YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

And in fact, I think it’s the marker of living a fully embodied life that we have the courage to ask these questions AND even more brave, to choose the path that is right for you. For some Road #1 is exactly what you need right now to provide stability for the future. For some Road #2 is the clear choice. And for some Road #3 is the path less travelled.

My point is, none is better than or higher on the scale than another. What is important, is that you have the courage to ask the questions and choose what is right for you- now. With total permission to make a new choice down the line at any time when a crossroad appears again.

And so as we embark on 2017, as you are setting your goals and intentions, words and themes, visions and dreams for the year, I invite you to spend some time and ask yourself if you are at a Crossroads as well. And if so, what choice do you need to make to really start the year off in the right direction?

As part of my commitment to Road #3 and creating a Legacy, I have some new projects I’m announcing soon that I am seriously excited to reveal here {it’s taking everything in me not to show it all to you right now!}.

In the meantime, I’ve never been more serious about strengthening the foundation of integrity in the healing & coaching industry. For this reason, I just opened up two more spaces in The Unbridled Apprenticeship, my year-long foundational training for healers & coaches who are looking to become not only successful in their craft, but leaders as well.

This program is built for those who are already working with clients and have trained in their chosen modality, but wish to take their business and their skills to the next level. Everything is on the table to explore in this program: from marketing & business mentorship to body energetics and creating transformational experiences for clients. Completely custom to your business, your style, your truth as a practitioner.

Application are open until Friday, January 13th for these two spaces. You can apply directly below:

And if The Apprenticeship is not what you need right now, I just opened additional days in my calendar for the rest of January for anyone desiring support at their own Crossroads in the OPEN: 2 Hour Deep Dive Session. Hundreds of women have experienced the power of these sessions and it's my honor to open additional space for more of you to work directly with me outside of my longer-term programs. You can book your session directly HERE.

So much more is on the horizon and I’ve never been more excited to show you. Until then, write to me and let me know at what Crossroad you have found yourself, and which road you are brave enough to choose?

Until next time love.

In Liberation + Celebration,