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A Manifesto + the Fierce Feminine Society Begins Today

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Hello Worthiness Warrior,

This email is not what I had planned to send to you this week. On Sunday night, I sat at my computer putting together a letter for you, to be sent Monday morning, with my latest podcast episode and an invitation to join my newest group that begins today, when all of a sudden everything in my body screamed: Not Now.

I've learned to listen to those nudges, even when they make absolutely zero sense or go firmly against 'the plan'. 

At the time of course, I had no idea what was happening in Las Vegas. I couldn't have known that a few hours later news alerts on phones across the country would go off with what felt more like a movie headline than real life. I spent most of yesterday morning first numb, then horrified, then really bloody angry.

Frankly- I wanted to close my heart down, ignore what was happening and push back the start of the group. I felt naked, stripped down, and for a few hours- couldn't see why in a time of so much hope, so many horrible things have been happening around the world. 

But then, as I talked to my husband and we processed the events unfolding, as well as major decisions in our own life that we recently made, I found myself simultaneously softening into the tenderness of the moment, as well as strengthening in my courage & convictions to showing up even more in how I'm being Called to in my life right now.

Soft & Fierce.

Strong & Tender.

Courageous & Surrendered.

The essence of the Fierce Feminine.

The armor of the Worthiness Warrior.

The heart of an Unbridled Life.

From this place, I asked myself the following question:

What if I dared to Open?

What if dared to do things differently?

What if this life I live isn’t just being a woman, a body, a human… but instead goes deeper than the surface, higher than I could ever imagine, more magical than I can dream possible?

What if my visions aren’t just wishes, but are actually remembrances of who I AM?

What if I told you… all of this is possible, and more? 

For thousands of years, women have been in hiding.

Hiding from the world. Hiding behind the veils of supposed tos, obligations and shoulds. 

Hiding from ourselves. From our power. From our sexuality.

Hiding from our TRUTH.

Now, it’s time to rise up. It’s time to do things a different way.

Your way.

And you no longer need to do it alone. 

We’re at a time in history like no other, when the chains have been broken, the bridles have been removed, and the freedom to express yourself freely is coming into the light.

You have a path. You have a Destiny. You are a

Worthiness Warrior.

It’s time for you to start living, to come fully ALIVE .

By joining ancient techniques, theories and stories with modern day tools to guide you into living a life created by you, for you- free from the things that are holding you back.

All you have to do is Dare to Open…. and step into your own Worthiness Revolution.

ARE YOU IN?

Then the only question is:

Who do you want to embody?

Are you bold & fierce? Full of courage to hold your boundaries, dance with the shadows of those things that no longer serve you, and chose another way? 

Are you regal & fair, ready to step into your Queen as Seer into Truth and Destiny?  

Are you primal & free? Wild bacchanalia, wine and music and one with nature, with the earth? 

Are you wise, older than your years, always knowing what to do, how to heal, how to live eternally? 

Or are you love in the flesh. Aphrodite and Venus and a heart so big, so open, you could love the entire world and yourself and still have more love to share.  

These are some of the faces of the Fierce Feminine. These are your portals into becoming the change you so want to see in your life, your community, our world.

In reality- you already ARE all of them. You are ALL, and ONE, and HERE. You already are the alchemy of human & divine merging together- always.

ALWAYS.  

All you have to do is Open. Surrender. Trust in Grace.

This isn’t about change in ways you've known change before. You won’t become someone you are not, or some version of yourself that no one recognizes. 

No.

This is about utter transformation through subtle changes and shifts. Transformation by working with the alchemy of the universe in the space of community to step into your own version of YOU- and bring that force into the world.

So you can be fierce. So you can be brave. So you can be love. So you can be free in your body.

THIS IS THE WORTHINESS REVOLUTION.

This is the Church of You Are Your Own Guru.

This is the power of tribe and community to lift you up, teach you more, and be your mirror in whatever ways you need.

This is the land of doing things your way, on your terms, trusting where your Unbridled soul wants to go.

So join me in stepping into your Destiny.

YOU NEED YOU.

WE NEED YOU.

THE WORLD NEEDS YOU.

NOW.

I'm done with being subtle about what we as women need to do to step it up and rise up. I hear so many talking about change or spending hours on social media debating what we need to do or tearing other women apart for having different views. For me, I'm done with the talk & distractions that are only creating more separation.

I've always believed that any revolution starts within each of our hearts- sometimes it's a spark that incites a wildfire, other times it's a slow burn. It doesn't matter if you work for yourself, have a corporate job, don't work at all, or are still just trying to figure it all out- the fire is within you, and she's ready to come forward.

We have the power to change things from the inside.

We have the power to truly stand up as warriors in the way that only women can.

We have the power to bring the Feminine to all of the places she is needed in our world right now.

But it's up to us to do something about it in ways that feel in alignment for each of you. For each this will be different- and that's the point. 

If you are ready to join an intimate community of women who are opening up to what the Fierce Feminine means to them, then the invitation is open for you to join us.

The first call is this afternoon. {Though if you can't join by then, all calls are recorded so you won't miss a thing!}.

To learn more, please click HERE.

If you know you're IN, you can join directly HERE.

The Revolution is happening- the only question that remains is:

Are you ready to join us?

In Liberation + Celebration,

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Worthiness vs. Success

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Hello Warrior,

For far too long we have been seduced into walking a path that did not lead us to ourselves. 

For far too long we have said yes when we wanted to say no. 

And for far too long we have said no when we desperately wanted to say yes. . . .

When we don't listen to our intuition, we abandon our souls. 

And we abandon our souls because we are afraid if we don't, others will abandon us.

― Terry Tempest Williams

I am thrilled to announce that the podcast is back! To make up for lost time, over the next 9+ weeks I'm running a special series on Worthiness Revolution Radio entitled:

Worthiness Bootcamp

Worthiness Bootcamp will be taking us straight into the heart of how millions of people are rising up to claim their worthiness. We'll be exploring topics ranging from our bodies & sexuality to ambition to our intuition- and more.

Tonight the first episode is ready that lays the foundation- What is the difference between Worthiness vs Success, and how can you begin working with this TODAY.  

According to proper definitions:

Worthiness is the quality of being good enough; the quality of deserving attention or respect.

Success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose; the attainment of popularity or profit; a person or thing that achieves desires aims or attains prosperity.

In the old paradigm that ruled the land before the Revolution, the words worthiness and success were often interchangeable. Your level of worthiness to the outside world was reflected in your salary, income, social status, and many other external markers of success.

For many there developed a subconscious belief that one was only worthy if they achieved various levels of material success:

He’s worthy because he’s a partner at the law firm.

She’s worthy because she married a CEO.

He’s worthy because his record hit platinum.

She’s worthy because she received the big book advance and sold a million copies.

He’s worthy because he lives in the high-end neighborhood.

She’s worthy…..

I hope you get my point by now. Our place in society and our imagined sense of self-worth was intricately tied to how much we made and what our social status was. And in many ways, we are still living this old paradigm of measurements of success- and therefore of worthiness.

But if we look at the definitions, they are in no way the same thing. In fact, it could be argued that they actually have nothing to do with each other. 

He is worthy simply for being alive. She is worthy simply for existing. And therefore they both deserve attention and respect.

And then the outward manifestations of success become markers of various achievements of one’s life highlighting their own unique path, not indicators of how worthy or unworthy they are at their core.

Sounds straightforward, but for oh- several thousand years this link between the two became the measure of one’s worth. 

Old Paradigm:

If you have all of the outward signs of material wealth and success, that must equal that you were a worthy human being. And if you don’t have those external markers, then there must be some inherent lack in your worthiness that was causing it. Which then perpetuates upon itself.

But with the rise of The Worthiness Revolution came with it a shift. No longer did the outward manifestations indicate the true measure of one’s worth. 

Instead, the true measure of one’s worth became simply the 

New Paradigm:

You are worthy. 

I am worthy.

Each of us born onto this earth is worthy.

To listen to the entire episode, please click HERE or the image below. I would love to hear how the exercises in this episode go for you, so please do respond.

 

Thank you and I hope you enjoy!

In Liberation + Celebration,

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Reader Survey

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Hello Warrior,

It's so wonderful to be back in the United States after spending the past several weeks working on my book- The Worthiness Revolution- on the magical island of Bali. 

Like embarking on any adventure, at first thought I was going to Bali to simply write a book- but it turned into something entirely more than that... and way better than anything I could have imagined.

Instead of me going somewhere quiet to write with a group of other women, it's felt like the book has been writing ME- and it's been an adventure of a lifetime. I sat for countless hours at the table pictured above {at the incredible Trinity Gardens Hotel in Ubud, Bali} pouring my soul out onto the screen and learning more about myself and my work than I have in the past 8 years.

The serene views coupled with slow internet led me to put all my plans, podcasts and newsletters on hold to go DEEP in the writing cave while I brought to life the project that hopefully will be in your hands within the next few months!

Which is how it always happens of course- we hear The Call to do, create, explore, or expand in some capacity, then an adventure sets itself in motion that we could never have planned- even with the best of intentions.

There is so much I wish to share with you about the experience, about my first trip back to the island that changed my life 8 years ago, and about the transformation that transpired under the loving hands of our book whispering guide, Ezzie Spencer. Much of this will be in the book itself, and I'll be sharing important pieces of the process in the coming weeks and months that I feel can help all of you now.

It's taken me a solid week back at home to integrate all that transpired on The Island of the Gods {and overcome major jetlag!} but now that I'm back, there is a fire pulsing in my veins unlike anything I have experienced before.

The next few weeks I'll be deep in writing to finish the first draft of my manuscript and begin recording new episodes of the podcast (several that I recorded prior to leaving for Bali had sound issues, so I'll be going back in the studio this weekend to record new ones). 

To help me in creating more of what you desire, I want to check in with all of you to see what you want more of in the future!!

I've created a quick survey that I would be so grateful if you took the time to complete.

It should take no more than 5 minutes of your time and will help immensely in targeting the content to your desires for both the book and the podcast!

Continue reading below for the link to the survey, and a reminder that enrollment is still open for the Fierce Feminine Society beginning on October 6th!


Survey

As you know, I've been teaching about the intersection between mythology, embodiment and success for several years. With Bachelor degrees in both Economics and Mythology, I spent 10 years in corporate finance before embarking on the journey of being an author, coach and healer empowering women to embody the Fierce Feminine within each of us. 

I'm currently writing a book about worthiness- and how I believe the movement of more women stepping into their inherent Worthiness IS the modern heroine's journey. Which in many ways has become the journey of finding one's own version of success. 

I'm holding a quick survey of what you want most to hear, learn, and explore about the modern heroine's journey, the fierce feminine, embodiment, and the topics of worthiness & success.

This survey should only take about 5 minutes of your time and I would be so grateful to read your responses!


Fierce Feminine Society

Over the years I have worked with thousands of women- and men!- in harnessing their true power to follow the Callings deep within the heart... and clearing anything that is standing in our way.

This summer I heard a deep Call to bring together a group of women who are ready to take their dreams, visions and heart Callings to a new level with a fierce grace- and fire. Thus was born The Fierce Feminine Society.

A choose-your-own-adventure style program with 3 levels of participation, The Fierce Feminine Society is the intersection where the Divine Feminine meets Success in order to fiercely step into our worthiness.

My intention for the program is that each woman who joins is able to bring to life what she is feeling Called to create at this time in her life, while working with the 8 primary categories of Worthiness that we as women often face as roadblocks in our journey of success.

All with the help of mythology, archetypes, community, solid business structures, practical actions and more!

Currently there are 6 spaces still available in The Archer level of the program, of which enrollment will be closed on October 2nd. 

The Fierce Feminine Society begins with our first call on Friday, October 5th. Are you ready to join us?

To set up a time to discuss, please click below to reserve a time on my calendar. I can't wait to speak to you about this amazing opportunity!

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The Rise of the Feminine and The Calydon Boar

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Hello Warrior,

I always believe that from our darkest moments come our greatest opportunities. This article is a Call to a higher level perspective of recent happenings in our world- an eagle eye view- out of reactionary states and into deep Truth & grounded embodiment for sustainable action.

Often lasting change comes only after the Dark Night of the Soul- the Great Mystery that envelops us all- and I pray that we have turned the tide now out of the Dark Night and into the Ascension.

What's left me breathless in recent weeks is the building of awareness of the power that is possible when we allow the Divine Feminine to take her seat on the throne next to the Masculine.

Not over, not above. Next to and equal.

It's an energy that has been rising for years now in small communities and secret trainings. I marvel at the fact that even just two short years ago when I was teaching my Alchemy Rising program, this rising of the Feminine was still a 'fringe' concept.

Now we have movies like Wonder Woman inspiring many to embrace your inner warrior and take up the sword to fight for what you believe in. Books and articles and podcasts. It's inspired many women to start businesses, make radical choices, or become activists on social issues that previously would have been ignored or silently supported.

It's empowered women into massive action in business, family, professional life, body, health- and so much more.

It's breathtaking. It's beautiful. It's jaw-droppingly awesome.

And I fear- it's gone too far into some of the shadow aspects of what the Fierce Feminine brings to the table

These shadow aspects that are arising also need to be faced, integrated and loved, in order for the REAL Rise of the Feminine into True Sovereignty to take place. 

One of my gifts- that I long took as a curse- is an oracular ability to see straight into the heart of the matter without an emotional attachment. What I see can sometimes be raw, dark and uncomfortably confronting- and yet I somehow have the ability to see all sides of the situation clearly, even when I am shocked or have an opinion.

When I read the news, watch trends, or notice patterns in places like the economy or social media, I often don't get fired up or reactionary like many people do {Things in my personal life? Well that's a whole other story of learning to choose my battles wisely. But that's a story for another day}.

Which may look to the outside world like not speaking up, but is actually something else altogether.

Instead, I have an eerie ability to zoom out and see the long game- which is why many have called me an Oracle over the years- a modern day Priestess of Delphi if you will. Yes- I have had past-life visions there and when I visited Delphi at 20 years old, my world literally SHOOK in knowing. Which I promptly tried to run and numb from, until it was time to own it.


On that note- let's get started by first going back a few thousand years, shall we?

I'm going to make this quick, as literally books upon books have been and will be written about this. But long story short, most cultures up until about 2000 years ago revered the feminine, the Great Mother, the goddess. She was the primary go-to for everything from fertility to death, and honoring her was a part of everyday life for men, women and children. Women were the primary healers based on ancient earth remedies and body wisdom- and were respected for their gifts. 

Oracles such as the one at Delphi were THE resource for kings, queens, and citizens to consult before any major decision or in the face of difficult situations. Pilgrimages to see her were regular, and festivals dedicated to the mysteries of the goddess- such as at Eleusis- were required at least once in a lifetime. 

But then, the spread of the Roman Empire and the rise of Christianity began to slowly put out the flame of the Feminine Spiritual Authority. I don't blame Christianity or cry foul of the Patriarchy as many do.

Zoom out for a moment and realize that in many ways, as the world population grew and for the first time in history, one unifying force was attempting to govern all of the local tribes, thousands of customs were quite simply- a problem. Not a problem in a sense of what they actually were or represented, but simply in the fact that they were all different.

Because different equaled hard to govern. And therein was the core of how the Patriarchy began to rise in power. 

A note: I use the word Patriarchy here, but I must admit that it is a word I despise. Because it creates separation. Because the emotional charge that comes with it tries to erase all of the abundance and advances that also came within this period of history.

But mostly because the vengeance with which many women use it tries to lay blame on the Masculine. And where there is blame & shame, there are undercurrents of victimhood. And that my loves, I am NOT a stand for.

Does it excuse the extinguishing and in most cases annihilation of the Divine Feminine? Absolutely not. Terrible, horrible, inhuman things happened in this quest- and women have every right to be absolutely pissed about how things went down.

So fast forward to today- the rapid increase of opportunities for women, the fairly recent ending of slavery in most of the world, the rise of social activism- they are all relatively new concepts. 

The Feminine is rising alright- and it is a fast ascent.

I envision it as women growing their wings- nay realizing they've had them all along- and taking flight. So of course it's to be expected that some turbulence would be encountered along the way.

We're adjusting to a new way of being in our power- in what is really the blink of an eye in our collective history.

And yes- the collective Feminine is pissed at how she has been treated for the past several thousand years.

But she also knows with an eagle-eye view that the violence and darkness have been essential to the greater quest of Union and Sovereignty. 

For those of you who have been exploring the many faces of the Fierce Feminine, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about- this isn't your soft and peaceful spirituality or goddess sitting on a mountain handing you flowers kind of stuff.

Oh no- this is a goddess who means business.

This anger is raw. This passion is edgy. This fierceness is blood dripping from the mouth of Kali and Artemis's bow & arrow aimed straight at the heart of what has been repressed, depressed, and suppressed for so many, for so long.

Whether or not you choose to believe in Her, the Divine Feminine- She's here like whether we like it or not.

We as women are being called to fiercely embody Her, and I believe men are being called to fully see Her.

As I watch in my circles it's like popcorn popping as woman after woman wakes up to this Call.

Like I said- it's breathtaking. Women waking up to their beauty. Opening their hearts. Feeling the softness AND fierceness of who they really are. 

But it's become very clear to me that if we are going to take up arms to step fully into the sovereignty of the Divine Feminine, then we have a lot of work to do to also integrate ALL of her.

The shadow side, the fierce rawness, the warrior who also comes with the territory.


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Back to present day- a country reeling from a massive wound exposed and a leader not taking a firm stand.

All of the anger, all of the shadows, all of the not-so-pretty places hidden in the folds of the lovely goddess dresses and flower crowns came tumbling out.

Like the insides of an animal struck down by a hunter.

Like the rise- and fall- of the Calydon Boar.

If you know anything of Greek Mythology, you have heard of the goddess Artemis.

Artemis is the original badass. At one with nature and all of her being, a fierce hunter with the deadly aim of her bow & arrow, a force of raw feminine POWER.

I could go on for days about the virtues of this incredible goddess. What's important to know here is that Artemis is the divine representation of Sovereignty.

By standing in her true power, she holds all of creation together in harmony and union.

It's that harmony that gives us our natural cycles- from a woman's menstrual cycle, to the food chain, to the seasons, to the birth-death-rebirth cycle, to cultures, states and nations co-existing.

If I had to name the Divine Feminine authority who is tied to what is arising in our nation- and world- right now, Artemis would be Her.

But here's the thing- for every archetype there is a shadow side, and well- goddesses are known to often feel emotions just like ours such as anger, rage and jealousy. 

You don't mess with a Fierce Feminine goddess, and if you do, there will be consequences to face.

There is a well-known myth about one such time when Artemis felt slighted by a King.

The King of the forest kingdom of Calydon held a celebration. All of the country was involved, and honors were made to many gods and goddesses.

Except Artemis. 

In her feelings of being rejected and not properly honored, Artemis unleashed the wild Calydon Boar to terrorize the kingdom in retribution.

But this boar was no ordinary boar- it ravished the villages and killed many in it's path of destruction.

It was like the kingdom was eating itself alive through the mouth of a boar who wished to destroy everything in it's path.

Heros and would-be heros from across the ancient world descended on the kingdom to be the one to take down the boar and save the land. It was a job for only the greatest of men- or so you would believe.

Until a woman showed up- Atalanta. Atalanta had grown up in the forest and if ever there was a human embodiment of Artemis, she would be the one. Atalanta was in love with the King's son- a secret romance happening under the cover of the trees. A union of equals. Their relationship had formed in the forest, and their love was a true merging of the Masculine and Feminine.

But when Atalanta joined the party to go kill the boar, the heros and would-be heros were none-too-pleased. But join them she did with her lover- the privileged son of the King who felt more at home in the forest than in the castle.

And you can probably guess what happened next. It was the arrow from Atalanta's bow that struck the wild boar in-between the eyes, and it was the strike of her lover's sword across the boar's neck that dealt the final deathblow.

They achieved the seemingly impossible. 

Together. 

There are many pieces of this story to unpack, but for the purposes of this article I want to focus in on three:

1. The Boar:

Take a look at what is happening in the United States and the world at large today. From the eagle-eye view, it's clear that certain paths of destruction are running rampant across many plains: environmentally, socially, culturally, politically, economically. In some cases the clearing from the destruction is opening up whole new fields of opportunity, such as the drastic increase in female entrepreneurship arising from our most recent recession. 

But in most cases, the destruction is festering- and feeding on itself. Protests becoming violent as people who are likely neighbors clash in their ideals- and are now becoming deadly. Law-enforcement killing those they are sworn to protect. Companies battling it out and fighting nature. Nations sanctioning each other. 

If I was just arriving on planet earth today, in the midst of so much beauty and abundance there appears to be something eating away at the heart of what makes humanity so great.

A modern Calydon Boar, eating away at the core of who we are as a human race. Releasing our shadows to be seen and dealt with in each bite taken. 

And so the Calydon Boar is not an actual boar at all that must be slayed, but rather is the internal force of reckoning that has the potential to destroy- but also the potential to create anew from that destruction.

2. A woman facing and standing up to her inner shadows:

It takes some fierce courage for a woman to stand up to a wild boar that is consuming the land. 

And it takes even more fierce courage for a woman to face all of her shadows, all of those things which are standing in her way, all of her resistance, to be able to take that stand. 

The stand against the boar and the aim of her arrow is not what is impressive. 

It's the stand in the face of her own inner shadows that wins the prize for being the most courageous act a woman can take. 

As Jean Shinoda Bolan, M.D. says in her incredible book Artemis: The Indomitable Spirit in Everywoman:

"It takes courage to confront the inner boar, for doing so means that a woman must confront her own destructiveness directly. To do so, she has to see- better yet, feel- how much damage she has done to herself and others by trampling on their feelings, or on what they have been tending that she did not value. She needs to feel remorse for the contempt and judgement she unleashed on others in the past, and realize that only she can stop it. With this intention and determination, she can rein in those feelings. Whether in a family matter or global one, to become an avenging goddess is a bad thing for a woman and those around her- who are, after all, not all bad, as she tends to feel once she gets worked up.... Confronting the inner boar can become a lesson in humility" [Emphasis added by me]

This right here is exactly the process I myself have been in the past few weeks and really the past 9 months. Looking hard at what role I have played in what is happening in my communities and greater society at large. Taking personal responsibility. Deciding how to move forward and what stand I wish to take. And so much more.

Here we are at what I feel is the critical juncture of the Rise of the Feminine. Up until now, it's been easy to blame the Patriarchy. To have the battle cry of RISING UP be the fuel to the fire not just in the past few decades in our country, but the past 2,000 years in our world.

I'm aware that this might piss some women off. That it might speak to my priviledge of having the freedom to do this inquiry work in the first place. And I absolutely agree. 

I have always believed that if one is blessed with privilege, then there is a Divine Responsibility to work with what you have and use that privilege for good- in a way that feels in alignment for YOU. We can't force it- it must come from the heart, or it will never work in the long-run.

I will not lower myself down to make others more comfortable, but rather I will hold the sword high so others may have the courage to meet me here- so we can then Rise even higher together.

An empowered woman empowers.

An economically empowered woman can move mountains.

And a society of economically empowered women- who believe it is possible to partner with the Masculine as true equals- has the potential to change the world.

And slay the Calydon Boar once and for all.

If marching does not feel right for you, find another way to speak up.

If speaking up on social media feels incongruent for you, then have private conversations to effect change.

If going to a protest gets you fired up with passion, then go. Speak. Believe. 

If starting a nonprofit, joining a group, expanding your platform are what feel in alignment, then go for it with all of your heart.

And a million other options. What works for one will not work for another, and so we all need to find our way, and do so with grace.

BUT FIRST- love- please stand down your shadows and then move forward.

Because what happens when you don't?

Then the boar will come tumbling through once again to be faced.

Women will attack other women, men attacking other men, and so on- demanding they speak up and then tearing them down if their opinion differs. Bullying. Shaming. Attacking behind computer screens and avenging in the name of... well in the name of a number of things.

What I've witnessed the past few weeks, is exactly that. But what makes me even more fired up is that this has been happening for years in our communities and our counrty- and it is time for it to stop.

There have been a few voices rise up that brilliantly cut through the noise like a knife straight to the heart of the matter.

But there have been many voices that are simply brandishing the sword haphazardly in the name of justice in places where what they see does not fit exactly what they wish to see.

The point of embodying the Fierce Feminine, the Inner Warrior, is not to cut others down {I've learned this the hard way over the years}, but rather to cut down all the ways you resist who you are, all the metaphorical things that stand in your way, all the internal boars that are tearing you apart- and having the courage to stand tall with all of the pieces put together.

And so this Calydon Boar that's unleashed itself- it means business until we have the courage to look inside and stop it.

3. Which brings me to my third and final point: The power of the Masculine and Feminine Rising TOGETHER

How the boar is finally stopped brings chills to my spine every time I think of it. A couple who was so in sync with each other, so utterly equals, that finally were able to stop the chaos of the boar.

Stop and think about it.

The King's son- the archetypal figurehead of the rise of the patriarchy- was only able to save his kingdom with the help of the Feminine. And not just any Feminine- a Fierce Feminine woman who embodies her own sovereignty, her own domain over her own life. Not a damsel in distress or a goddess who rules the home, but a raw, strong, courageous woman who owns who she is- even in a group of legendary heros.

If that's not the Fierce Feminine, I don't know what is.

What made this possible for her was not that she was out to avenge or tear down, but rather she was clear in what needed to happen, she had faced all of her inner resistance before she stepped foot on that quest to find the boar, and she invited the Masculine to partner with her, instead of trying to rise above him.

And she didn't give a damn about how anyone else was doing it, but rather focused all of her energy on her own mission at hand.


As many myths go, there was not a happy ending to this particular story. The prince's uncles did not like that a woman accomplished what they could not, and tragic ends resulted for both them and the prince.

But the lessons for us today are no less potent. 

Yes- the Rise of the Feminine is here. I have been saying this in my circles for years now. And the higher we rise, the even more we must continue to rise to meet the occasion.

Fight anger by facing your own anger within first.

Instead of resisting, clear your own resistance to truly soar.

Find your voice- and ignore how anyone else believes you need to use it. 

As the Feminine rises, we are each finding our own way in how we are being called to stand up.

We are each meeting our own personal Calydon Boar as well as the collective one.

We are each being Called to stand WITH the Masculine.

Not above. Not below. 

WITH. 

And that is the TRUE Rise of the Feminine. 

In Liberation + Celebration,

Jen-Signature.jpg

P.S. If you are ready to meet and work with the Fierce Feminine, the newly opened Fierce Feminine Society begins in a few weeks and enrollment is open with Early-Bird pricing available until September 12th. Click below to learn more. 

 

 

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My Reckoning with Motherhood {Part 1}

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“When are you two going to start trying {wink}?”

“Do you want children?”

“You would make such a great mother, are you actively trying yet?”

And a million other versions of this question are what I have endured on a regular basis over the past five years. 

My answer is always the same- 

No. 

When I am met with blank stares or the masked judgement across the table, I then add a conciliatory- “But we’re open to it if that’s what happens by grace” 

Then I always have to take a moment to catch my breath, calm the anxiety, and try to steer the conversation in another direction- and fast. 

Not because I’ve struggled with infertility. 

Not because I’ve ever been pregnant that ended in loss or some other tragic result. 

Not because- well any number of things that might justify why a woman would not want to discuss the topic.

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that my answer of a clear choice of No is not the socially acceptable answer, and at times even this fierce warrior woman does not want to go to battle.

Because it’s the one battle, the one conversation, that I feel like I can never win. Those who agree with me or have made similar choices for their own life never ask. But those who don’t get it, always do.

I can’t even count how many times I’ve had to endure the requisite responses of:

But you would make an Amazing mother! or

Oh I didn’t want children either and then everything changed once he/she came along! or

Wait until you turn 37, your tune will definitely change once that biological clock starts ticking! or

{my favorite/ not so favorite} You are so smart and beautiful, you would be robbing the world if you didn’t have children!

And so I smile and nod, and feel the pain in my metaphorical Achilles Heel- the tender spot of my deepest longing of being fully SEEN. Where I question if what someone else sees is what I can’t see myself, or if the person in front of me can’t see me at all. 

When this conversation strikes that tenderest of tender places, I spiral in the longing of wanting to belong that is at the heart of my Achilles Heel, and the smallest of seeds of doubt creep in.  

For a long time, I consistently told myself that someday, I would sit down and get to the heart of what is- truly- True for me on this question of motherhood. 

The problem with putting things off for someday, is that eventually, someday becomes TODAY and you need to turn and not only face, but walk right into, the center of the battle field hidden deep in your own heart.

So as it’s written in tales, this winter someday became today- and thrust me into what I now refer to as my Worthiness Revolution.

It began innocently enough, once upon a time:

Our wedding day. Family and friends gathered from around the country to celebrate our union. 

There was love in spades and vulnerability was running high as we crossed the threshold into a new stage of life- it truly felt like the best day of my life. But in the midst of the celebration, there was a witchy ritual done in our name after I explicitly said No to it (more on this violation another day), followed by a lie told by one guest in particular to my husband about my 'secret' desire to have a family- which cast a shimmer of a doubt that maybe- just maybe- our solid plan of no children was not so solid after all. 

At first the Revolution was a tiny flame- anger at the lie & boundary violation required some major clearing & boundary work to move on. I knew my Truth, and I was standing clear in it. 

Or so I thought. 

Until I began to receive daily messages from my intuition that I needed to sell my sporty truck and get a larger one. I had no idea why, but I’ve learned to trust the messages when they come- even if they make absolutely zero sense. 

The tiny flame then became a wild fire at a car dealership- of all places- after a test drive of a huge, used Land Rover- a ‘mom car’ if you will. In the office of a young slick salesman, my husband’s face became red, he ushered me out the door to the closest bar, and proceeded to tell me over a beer that I had to go deep in my heart and TRULY decide once and for all what I wanted.

The comments at the wedding had sparked a flame of initiation in him as well, and seeing me behind the wheel of a car I could possibly drive a family in led him to come undone.

So for a few months, I put on the hat of ‘MOM’ to embody what it would be like to step into the role as close as I could, without actually going there. 

A few weeks later I traded in my sporty Wrangler and bought a big SUV with DVD players in the back seat and enough room for well- a small army. 

I told friends we were trying to conceive- though in truth every time I ovulated I came up with every excuse in the book not to actually try.

I spent more time with the kids at my riding school and asked friends with little ones if I could hang out to see how it felt- but I was always relieved when it was time to come back to my quiet home.

When I started to take prenatal vitamins my body rebelled. Nightmares and nausea. Even my hormones came along for the ride- experiencing wild mood swings, gaining 15 pounds, breaking out like a teenage girl again.

I began envisioning what I would do with my business if I got pregnant, what relationship I would want with my work once a child arrived, how I could work the finances. 

When I make a commitment to explore something, I go all in- mind, soul and body. And this was no exception. 

But then, I began to have a glass or three of wine every night because- well- I just couldn’t handle all of the emotions that were throwing themselves at my feet everyday as I tried to embody what felt like an alien concept to me.

In the midst of this exploration, a new president was sworn in and questions over health care became a big concern- notably the possibility of losing maternity coverage under the new administration within the year. 

Which added fuel to the fire of- if you are going to do it, do it NOW. 

And so, it was a long winter of processing every emotion under the sun that came with all of the options:

Being a No.

Being a Yes.

Being a No and knowing it’s a possibility I still might get pregnant.

Being a Yes and knowing it’s a possibility I still might not get pregnant.

I tried each one on for size. And kept arriving at the same conclusion:

That my answer is a clear No.

So nothing had changed. Yet everything changed because in that claiming of my No, I came face-to-face with emotions I truthfully had never experienced before: guilt, shame, and the most surprising one of all- a lack of worthiness.

Guilt over having the privilege to choose in the first place.

Shame for wanting what is not the socially acceptable path.

Guilt at being fertile and not bringing forth life.

Shame for not wanting what so many women I know- family, friends & peers- are desperately craving for themselves but can't for a variety of reasons.

And then the mama of them all arose- a force I did not feel prepared to face. A force that felt far from logical and instead was utterly primal. The question of:

Am I still worthy as a woman if I do not have children? 

Especially if it is my choice to not have them?

I’m not ashamed to say that as an alpha Leo woman, questions around my worthiness have not really been a ‘thing’ for me.

If anything, I’ve been accused in the past of believing in my worth a little too much

So when this question arose in the midst of a massive storm this winter- as the roads were flooding and trees blowing down all around our home- I felt like I was drowning.

I wish I could say it lasted only that night as the storm raged, but instead it lasted close to 6 months. Every time I came up for air and felt like I got a handle on the situation, I would be yanked back down into the heat of the flames and the strength of the tide to face yet another level of questioning my worthiness.

It felt like I was living the myth of Persephone being taken to the underworld by Hades over and over again, with a healthy dose of the Caledonian Boar of Artemis legend sprinkled in to throw my inner world into turmoil.

And it's a strange thing- to be living out some of the darker myths of the fierce feminine and still be trying to show up in the real world as a bright and radiant being. Most days I could pull it off, but the night time was where I faced most of these shadows.

For a little while I shared the process I was in with friends and loved ones. But often I was met again with everyone’s opinions on what they could ‘see’ for me, but I often felt like I was being inundated with projections instead of truly being seen.

Or I tried to speak with women who have made the same choice and found most of them simply didn't wish to discuss it- mostly because they had experienced similar battles on this topic like I had and learned to shut these conversations down fast.

One 70 year-old woman who chose not to have children {and who lives an extraordinary & active life} gave me the advise to shut up- that only I could answer the question deep in my own heart.

So I stopped.

And I crawled into my cave- which felt more like a womb- and faced every shadow and core wound that catapulted me straight into my mother wound. The wound that has quietly been running the show all along without me being aware of it. 

The wound that told me I wasn’t worthy.

The wound that told me I wasn’t wanted.

The wound that told me that I would never belong no matter how hard I tried.

Which if you know about the mother wound and how she works, were all complete and utter lies.

But that’s the funny thing that happens when we finally get to the core of our mother wound- we see the Truth for what it is and realize just how much we’ve been letting the wound run the show.

And that Truth?

That Truth was a blazing hot beating heart that showed me that not only am I loved, but I am worthy.

Period. Full Stop. 

Worthy.

Which seems so simple, but in the midst of what felt like chaos, was absolutely the most revolutionary thing I had ever felt. 

I felt high on life. I felt like ME again. 

And I felt like I could finally stand tall in the answer that had been there all along- that while I am a NO to physically being a mother, that does not mean that I am not a mother in other ways.

I am a mother to my clients and the community I foster in my business.

I am a mother to a spiritual warrior of a horse, a huge cuddly lab and a cat that truly is the queen.

I am a mother to countless creative projects, programs, books, podcasts, writings and so much more.

And I am a mother to my own internal world, seeing myself fully. Taking care of that Achilles Heel of a mother wound that has desperately been seeking to be SEEN.

This last one was the motherhood that was thrown into question in the midst of this reckoning, but was infinitely strengthened by this process.

It's a strange thing to put this out in the world and still know that God may have other plans, that a child may still come that I can not yet see, that my choice might change tomorrow or my biological clock may kick in a few years from now.

But as I searched the internet for others who have made the same choice, it became clear to me that choosing to be a No to having a child in many ways has nothing to do with actual motherhood.

And that there is a huge community of women who don't discuss this for all of the reasons I just wrote above, who need to know that:

Yes- you are absolutely worthy as a woman if you do not have children- whether it is a choice or not.

That motherhood takes many forms.

And some of us have another path here that is no less worthy and is just as powerful.

I say this is Part 1 because I know this conversation does not end with these words, and there are deeper aspects to explore as I continue on this journey. Mythological patterns, archetypal bloodlines, warrior woman & priestess roles to be expressed.

So more is coming, when the time is right. 

But in the meantime I want to hear from you- have you ever faced a similar question? Have you made a similar choice? Or chosen differently, but still question your worthiness as a woman?

My intention with publishing this piece is to open the conversation and have a safe space for women to discuss their own reckoning with motherhood, so I have turned the comments on below. 

Thank you for seeing me <3

In Liberation + Celebration,

Jen-Signature.jpg

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The Call, The Reckoning and the Space In-Between

Rivers of power flowing everywhere. Fields of magnetism relating everything. This is your origin. This is your lineage.

The current of creation is right here, coursing through subtle channels, animating this very form. Follow the gentle touch of life, soft as the footprint of an ant, as tiny sensations open to vastness.

Power sings as it flows, electrifies the organs of sensing, becomes liquid light, nourishes your entire being. Celebrate the boundary where streams join the sea, where body meets infinity. 

~ The Radiance Sutras, #44 by Lorin Roche, PhD

Hello Warrior,

For many years now I have been developing an entire system that outlines how we as women are walking the mythological journey of becoming the heroine's of our own lives. In many ways when I began to download the information contained in this system, I ran away from it- far. 

Or I'd trickle some of it out, and then hide. Or tell myself all sorts of stories about why I wasn't good enough to actually bring this message to the world fully. 

It mirrored what I had faced in finance over 10 years ago when I knew I needed to leave, but just couldn't bring myself to do so. 

And so I fought and fought The Call that I was hearing until one day, I just couldn't fight it anymore. And this is exactly what happened in the past year with bringing the message of the bigger journey we all are adventuring on out into the world. Which ripped me right into the swirl of a Worthiness Revolution like I wrote about several weeks ago here.

Since my post On Choosing Worthiness several weeks ago, I have received so many emails from women around the world in a similar space and wanting to know how to work with this energy- instead of being consumed by it.

In reading these emails I knew that the message I've heard all year of bringing my Heroine's Odyssey framework out of my paid programs and into free mediums such as here was my next step.

So today I am thrilled to truly begin that journey with you in Episode 3 of Worthiness Revolution Radio:

The Call, The Reckoning and The Space In-Between

This episode is so dear to my heart and fair warning- I BROUGHT IT. I don't say that often but what flowed through me in recording this brought tears to my eyes after listening to it.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! And if you want to download for yourself the free guide I referenced in the episode, please click Here.

In Liberation + Celebration,

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My Fierce Feminine Story

 

Sacred Ash

This offering of

the deepest desires

to the Divine

is the biggest gift

the one that

actually matters

subtle

exquisite

intense beyond

belief

and the hardest

test of all.

But you needn’t

deny them

as they arise

They’re sacred

after all,

divinely human,

yet you fling them

like kindling

into Her fire

so they dance

and crackle

and snap

in Her

flames.

She does

what she will

She knows

every need

And You come

to love that

and to trust

~ Make Me Your Own: Poems to the Divine Beloved

By Tosha Silver

I often view my life as living poetry, so when I come across a poem such as this, my feet stop in their tracks and my heart skips a beat to the feeling of:

Someone else gets it. Someone else gets ME.

It's a feeling I've experienced over and over again in my life, and is the feeling that inspires me to share more with you of what the internal work has been that continues to lead me in my life. The predominant theme of which over much of my 37 years has been the acceptance of the Fierce Feminine within me- and all of the lessons she has taught me about my inherent worthiness.

When I look back on it now, it's crystal clear to me how all of the other outward manifestations of my success have been clear reflections of exactly this:

My days in finance where I was often the only woman at the boardroom table creating multi-million dollar contracts... and fighting the stigma that to rise to the top a woman had to be either promiscuous or a bitch- or both

Green Start Holistix which taught me how to empower others to heal themselves through the use of bodywork.

The Unbridled Life which focused on grabbing the reins of our lives, being in our power and setting our sights on the unlimited horizons full of potential- IF we had the courage to go there.

The Heroine's Odyssey which is all about claiming your freedom and being the heroine of your own story.

And so much more that I've never released or only revealed within my private programs. It's amazing to me how the more we step into alignment and do the inner work, the more clear we become in how we show up in the world. 

The problem- if you can call it that- is that to do so takes massive amounts of courage.

Why? Because when we choose to do the inner work, we also choose to make a change. To potentially have to walk away from things that feel safe, ruffle a few feathers, disappoint some people, and possibly even have to end relationships/ careers/ habits that had you feeling safe and comfortable.... but likely not fully happy.

For millennia the image of a strong, powerful woman who knows who she is and is in her power has been- how shall I say it- demonized. Literally and figuratively. In literature, mythology, social constructs and traditions, the idea of a fierce female has been- well- anything less than stellar.

And not just by men- the worst offenders of making it 'bad' for a woman to be in her full fierce sovereign power has often been other women.

Which is why when, at the beginning of 2017, it became clear to me that this message was the one I was meant to start discussing, I frankly ran away from it. But the thing is- we can never run away from the thing we are meant to do, and the more I hid, the more fiercely she came for me until I finally said a resounding YES deep in my heart.

I recorded a new Episode of Worthiness Revolution Radio about my own journey of the Fierce Feminine and how she ultimately led me to deep healing- and how I believe her message is needed now more than ever.

Hop on over to the podcast HERE to or on Apple Radio HERE to hear the episode. 

I would love to hear your thoughts and even your own journey with the Fierce Feminine- so please respond back and share.

And stay tuned- that big annoucement I promised last week is dropping tomorrow!

In Liberation + Celebration,

Jen

 

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Introducing Worthiness Revolution Radio

At first I believed it was a problem with my body. 

So I went to the doctors and the shamans. And I healed my body.

Then I believed it was a problem with my men.

So I sought out the therapists and matchmakers. And I healed my relationship with men.

Then I believed it was a problem with my money.

So I went to the advisors and the lawyers. And I healed my relationship with money.

And then lo and behold, I believed it was a problem with my mind.

So I sat at the feet of the gurus and the teachers. And I healed my mind.

And wouldn't you know it, next I was convinced it was a problem with my business. 

So I hired the coaches and the strategists. And I healed my business.

And then damn it, I believed it was a problem with other women.

So I joined the sisterhoods and sat around the fires. And I healed the sister wound.

But around the circle I went, and again- I found myself believing it was a problem with my body.

So I….

And so the spiral continued. From problem to solution, from wound to grace, from healer to helper to expert.

Until- I couldn’t anymore. Until I had to stop and stare at myself, naked in a mirror, and see the truth.

See the worthiness.

See the revolution bursting from my soul begging to be seen. To be heard. To be shared.

This is my story, but it is also the story of every woman, every man, every human who walks this planet. For each of us the journey has appeared differently. But deep down inside, each of us are on our adventure to uncover the deepest secret of all:

That you are worthy. 

That I am worthy. 

That each and every one of us- is worthy.

In this day and age, it’s revolutionary to hold such a belief. 

Look around and you can see evidence on every corner that directly contradicts this, as well as evidence that exudes the gross characterization of- how shall I say it? Overcompensation for not fully believing this to be true.

So how do you own this revolutionary act of worthiness?

How do you walk the line of belief in your inherent worth while staying in alignment with what is true for you?

These questions and more are exactly what have been inspiring me through all of the shifts and changes occurring in my own life over the past 8 or 9 months. Some of which I wrote about a few weeks ago, yet there is still so much more to the story.

To open the conversation, I am THRILLED to announce that I have started a brand NEW podcast and Episode 1 is now LIVE.

My intention with this new podcast is to pick up where The Unbridled Podcast left off while infusing all of the depth and shifts that have occurred in my work in the past 2 years.

Episode 1: Revolution is now live and you can access it HERE or on iTunes by searching for 'Worthiness Revolution Radio'.

Stay tuned- I have a HUGE announcement coming in just a few days and a free Worthiness Bootcamp coming for you at the end of the month. 

If there is any lesson I've learned this year it's this:

Worthiness isn't earned. 

Worthiness is claimed.

And it's time each of us finds the courage to claim it.

In Liberation + Celebration,

P.S.
Enrollment in the Fierce Feminine Mastermind is still open!

We officially begin in September and journey through the year to help grow your business, navigate what feels in and out of alignment, getting totally in flow, and fiercely supporting each other as each woman RISES.

More details can be found HERE. In my heart I know that if you are reading this and you are ready, you'll know.  

Simply book below to speak with me to take your first steps of your own Worthiness Revolution- the fierce feminine way.

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On Choosing Worthiness

Hello Warrior,

A few months ago, I almost closed the doors on my business for good.

I had the paperwork ready, was looking at opportunities in other industries, and found myself crying on the phone with my mom more times than I care to admit.

I had reached the rare point where the pain to continue as I had been operating felt greater than the pain to persevere. 

It wasn't one thing that led me to this place. In fact it wasn't even 5 or 10 things that led me to the mythical point of possible no return. No one to blame, no circumstance that caused it, no wound I could trace back to heal to turn things around. And it was beyond frustrating to have nothing but me, myself and I to figure it out. 

There was one thing though that kept me from closing the doors for good: My incredible, amazing clients and this community here.

A bigger why, a bigger message was tearing at the seams to come forward, and a slow realization that my messaging was changing began to emerge.... and everything that wanted to stay safe within me was revolting against the change.

Revolutions happen just this way:

A slow creep of discontent. A trickle of mini-deaths that slowly eat away at the soul. An ember that turns into a blaze that sparks a wildfire deep in the recesses of the heart.

Until eventually that fire becomes so painful we either need to be consumed by it, or learn to dance with it's flames.

On the night in question when I was ready to shut it all down, I had received an email- a client was going to be late on her payment, and I needed it to pay a large bill the next day. My big shiny new program that was supposed to be my winning ticket didn't do as well as I'd projected.

After a string of so-so performance on launches, my metaphorical well felt dry, and my spirit was questioning just how much faith was perhaps too much faith?

{Answer: too much faith is not even possible. If we feel like maybe it's too much, that's normally an indication we need even more}.

I had followed all the strategies- this time with every t crossed and i dotted. And it worked- just enough to keep me hooked into the system I had somehow found myself in.

But the Truth is, it wasn't a system I had chosen, but somehow had found myself in without even realizing it was happening. In fact, 9 years ago when I left my corporate finance job, I made three promises to myself:

1. I would never work Mondays again {because: freedom}

2. My mission is simple: To help others feel more ALIVE.

3. To always stay true to me, follow my own intuition, and to never follow 'the way things should be done'- above all other things.

And for the most part, this is exactly what I've done. Some Monday's I've worked because- well- sometimes we just need to. And my mission has remained more or less the same all these years, no matter the shiny brand it's attached to at the time.

But the staying true to my own intuition when evidence points to do things another way- that's been the hardest of them all. 

See when we start out on any adventure, we're all wide-eyed and ready for anything that comes our way. We take the risks, we make the leaps, we follow the whispers that take us exactly where we need to go, exactly when we need to be there.

And it's brilliant, and scary, and a wild fucking ride.

It's exactly how my business started out. I had no vision of being a coach or running an online lifestyle brand. I didn't even know they existed at the time!

Instead, I just knew that I wanted to help others feel better and live a life beyond what they thought was possible, and I was willing to do what it took to serve in that way. So I listened to the messages. I followed the signs. Signs that took me from yoga teacher trainings in San Francisco to retreats at Esalen, to more teacher trainings in LA and onwards to Bali- where my heart was blown wide open again and again and again. 

A four week trip turned into 7 months traveling across Southeast Asia, creating a real-life opportunity to follow my intuition with literally every single step I took {one of the first days there I didn't listen, and fell- HARD- splitting my hand open. That woke me up quick to the lesson at hand.} 

The only person I COULD trust on that trip was myself- and I was given a grand initiation into exactly that every single day.

When I returned to the United States, I was a changed woman. I knew myself. I knew what I wanted. I knew that I had a mission in the world and was willing to do whatever it took to make that happen. 

But what it took often felt like Herculean tasks. Living in a garage 'apartment'. Working 4 jobs while starting my business. Declaring bankruptcy. Starting at the bottom of the totem pole at studios, charging $30 for a massage, and more. Each step coming from a whisper, a deep knowing of:

Next this, now that, then on to this. 

But I did it, because... I had nothing to lose. And everything to gain.

I remember the night where I told friends in a study group that I knew I needed a larger apartment to up the ante on my private massage practice. I was clear. Within 12 hours, my landlord emailed me to say he was selling the house, and I had 30 days to move out.

I had no idea how I was going to pay for another place, had a brand new bankruptcy on my record, and didn't even have enough saved for a down-payment. All odds were NOT in my favor.

But deep down inside, I knew what I needed to do.

And I knew I was worthy enough to make it real.

And of course, I found exactly what I needed, had more than enough money to make it happen, and met an 88 year old landlord that became not only my saving grace, but a dear friend the 3 years I rented from her. 

Over the years this story repeats itself countless times. A clear knowing. A sign from the universe to move forward. A I-have-no-idea-how-I will-pay-for-this-and-pull-it-off moment. A leap of faith. A falling deeper into trust. A Rebirth. Expansion.

Rinse. Repeat.

But a funny thing started to happen. Imperceptible really.

As my business grew, as my mission expanded, as the bills got larger, as more of my dreams came true, THE STAKES GOT HIGHER.

The pressure was more intense. The risks became greater. No longer did they impact just me, but my family as well- my husband, my friends, the animals under my care, my clients, my brand.

Suddenly with so much more at stake- and ironically even more visible in the real world to prove it- the embodiment of my worth started to slip slowly downward.

It started with my wedding, strangely enough. The day where I felt more me, more powerful, more loved than any other time I could ever remember. At the ceremony I felt on top of the world {and we even played that song as we walked down the aisle}. At the reception I felt love emanating from everywhere in my being.

I was whole. I was loved. I was worthy.

But in the days that followed, I learned of things that had happened behind my back that day. I was confronted with triggered friends who made the day about them. I was faced with places where I had let my boundaries become weak that had consequences. I had to face the parts of me that still didn't believe I could 'Have it all."

And in the midst of this, I went from running a successful business based on faithfully following the whispers of my soul and knowings of my heart with nothing to lose, to all of a sudden having EVERYTHING to lose- and a deep fear around that becoming so.

It was so sneaky, so stealth, that I had no idea it was happening until the fateful night when I was 'this close' to shutting down the website and throwing it all away. And even that night, these words- this knowing- were not present. 

It was sneaky because, somewhere in the middle of 'Dreams Coming True' and 'Fear of Losing it All', I gave my power away to strategies, blueprints, and game plans. I had done it before over the years and course corrected quickly enough.

But the fear of losing everything became so great this time, the pace of the predator stalking behind me that could take it all away increased, and the tiny voice questioning if I was worthy of having it all became louder.

Worthy to have a successful business that also fulfilled me.

Worthy of being married to a wonderful man.

Worthy of my dream of owning a horse coming true.

Worthy of amazing friends who show up.

Worthy of living in my dream home in my dream town.

Worthy of an incredible family who supports me.

And so much more.

In the past I was great at letting those doubts remain quiet, but in the aftermath of a Rite of Passage that took me into the depths of Initiation, the voices became louder and louder. Until it became clear that not only was I succumbing to the almighty "I'm not Worthy" syndrome, but was operating my business out of alignment by listening to what 'the experts' I hired thought was best for me, instead of what I knew in my heart to be true.

So in some ways, I had to take a hard stop. I unfollowed all of the industry superstars. I left a group program for the first time in my career. I did not offer renewals to a few clients as their programs ended. I hid behind The Unbridled Life brand name to take the pressure off me.

I cried. And wept. And raged.

A lot.

I laughed when I received emails from peers that said 'It looks like you are thriving and SO busy lately' because well- it was the furthest thing from the truth. I had depleted my savings making my dreams come true the year before, and the coffers that were normally overflowing had not filled back up.

The irony: San Diego was in the midst of pouring rain for what felt like months on end, ending the drought that had plagued us for a decade- and here I was watching that endless rain feeling like my drought was just beginning.

And so the tears flowed like the rain. I heard of not one, not two, but at least FIVE women in the self-help/ coaching industry who committed suicide within a month. And I felt all of their grief and pain as I processed my own unraveling.  

Every month I prayed that all would be taken care of, and every month it was. Miraculously. Sometimes when the bills were due I had no idea how the payments cleared- almost as if angels had inserted just enough to make sure we were ok when we weren't looking. 

The guilt and shame became unbearable. Guilt at having it all. Shame that something obviously wasn't working all of a sudden after years of living so fully in the flow. Guilt to put my husband through this. Shame to even tell my friends- or oh my goodness the internet!- where I was.  

This afternoon I read an interview of Lucinda Chambers who has recently been fired by Vogue. In it she says,

"You’re not allowed to fail in fashion – especially in this age of social media, when everything is about leading a successful, amazing life. Nobody today is allowed to fail, instead the prospect causes anxiety and terror. But why can’t we celebrate failure? After all, it helps us grow and develop. I’m not ashamed of what happened to me."

Deep. Truth. To. The. Heart.

The crazy thing is- I hadn't actually failed. But somehow something in me felt like a failure, almost calling it in because how could it be possible to have all of my dreams come true? 

Finally I had to celebrate that part of me that felt so, and a boudoir photo shoot last week- part of the wedding package I took months to redeem- provided the venue for the party.

There was something about stripping down naked in front of a camera that helped me feel my full strength and power again. See my vulnerability as a strength. Stripdown all that I had to see once again that truly, there is never anything to lose.

And realize that even if we do fail at something, we still have our body to remind us that we are whole, we are free, we are Worthy.  

But as we know even when we feel free, failure {or even feelings of} can be like a bonfire that burns away all that no longer serves. And from the ashes rises the Phoenix who ushers in a new way of being, a new stage, a new light to shine.

From those ashes arose for me a realization that it's been time to tell this story, and introduce what has been birthed from the fires of my own rebirth.

And the truth is- during the few months I was in the thick of this, the only thing that kept me going was my clients- the sessions that brought me right back to myself. The intensives that reminded me that my mission is strong, and that I am changing lives daily. The words I wrote that if they rang true for even one person, kept me coming back day-after-day. 

It was my clients who kept me from giving up- and for those of you who are reading this, I am eternally, ever grateful for being teachers to me when I needed it most, even if you didn't know that's what you were doing. Thank you thank you thank you- More than you could ever possibly know.

Because it was this continuing to show up- when every metric of 'success' was telling me otherwise- that began to repair the leak in my soul that was draining my internal sense of worthiness faster than I could keep up myself.

Sometimes we need help.

Sometimes we need a lot of help.

And sometimes we need a motherfucking Revolution to get the job done.

And what it took was an absolute revolution- A Worthiness Revolution if you will- to turn this sinking ship around.

I won't get into the nitty-gritty in this post, but essentially this revolution was spearheaded by the Fierce Feminine within me.

The Fierce Feminine who introduced me to my power again in a whole new way.

The Fierce Feminine who showed me that motherhood shows up in a million different ways.  

The Fierce Feminine who gave me a channel to feel my rage.

The Fierce Feminine who taught me that unconditional love is just that- UNCONDITIONAL- and the softer we allow it, the more fierce the love can show up for us.

And the Fierce Feminine who forced me to take a hard look at an area where I WASN'T showing up, a dream I wasn't taking steps to fulfill, and held me down until I screamed mercy by committing to bring it to life. 

And that dream? The vision I've had for over 2 years now of running a high-level business mastermind about the way to do business from a place of embodiment, true power and flow.

So why was I holding back? Why did I feel so utterly Un-Worthy of bringing this dream to life?

Because my business story has not been a Cinderella story of meeting the right people, overnight success, massive launches or business besties.

My journey has been one of magic without a doubt. With that magic has come the alchemy of failure, of mistakes, of major triumphs, of visions coming true in miraculous ways- and so much more. And in that process, I've made close to a million dollars in revenue since starting at $25 a class teaching yoga. 

I know how to navigate both wild success AND massive failure- and I'm not afraid to keep putting one foot in front of the other day in and day out. I know that there will be peaks and valleys, and one successful launch does not a successful business make. 

But I know- one determined business owner can literally move mountains. And the more in her power she is- the more worthiness she embodies- the more unstoppable she becomes.

I've guided hundreds of entrepreneurs over the past 9 years in a private capacity to navigate their own journey with this, and now I'm ready to bring together a group of women who wish to navigate it all together.

It wasn't until I was ready to give it all up that I knew it was actually a time to go even deeper and finally pursue the dream that's been here for so long.

So today I am honored to announce my first Mastermind experience, the Fierce Feminine Mastermind.

A 12 month journey into the depths of your business, your soul and the art you wish to create in the world. Walking hand-in-hand with other women on the path who desire to do business YOUR way- without apologies.

The Fierce Feminine Mastermind consists of a VIP and Apprenticeship Level, quarterly retreats in San Diego, Private Mentoring plus Group Coaching, and so much more

We officially begin on the Lion's Gate of 8/8 and journey through the year to help grow your business, navigate what feels in and out of alignment, getting totally in flow, and fiercely support each other as each woman RISES.

I am limiting the first wave of the Fierce Feminine Mastermind to 11 women. More details can be found HERE. In my heart I know that if you are reading this and you are ready, you'll know.  

All you need to do is Apply below and I'll get back to you right away to set up a time to discuss. I have no idea how long these 11 spaces will remain open, or when I'll run another wave of the Fierce Feminine Mastermind.

What I do know is that I have never been so sure that this is the next step, and I've never felt so clearly the women who ready to join me. 

Simply apply below to take your first steps of your own Worthiness Revolution- the fierce feminine way.

Fill out my online form.
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Looking Forward

It's so tempting to look back at what has worked before to get clues as to what will work next.
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Especially when at a Crossroads. 
Especially when faced with a Leap of Faith.
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Especially when things are working juuuuuuust enough to keep you comfortable {kind of}, but no where close to what you know is possible.
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I know this temptation love, I know it so deep in my bones. .
To grip onto how it's always been.
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To keep the name, the program, the job, the connection... because it's safe. Because it won't force you to grow. Because you have no idea what may be on the other side.
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Me and this temptation, we've done this dance over the years. .
Hold on, or leap forward?
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Look back, or dare to gaze at what's possible?
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Stay stuck in how-things-should-be, or release the judgements that lurk beneath the surface? {They are there. They always are}
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But as I've come to face some of my own fierce truths, this dance has faced a revolution of sorts.
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A revolution of taking the risk.
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A revolution of letting things go.
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A revolution into wholeness.
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And a deeper revolution into worthiness.
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No more looking back for the answers. No more clinging to what used to work. No more holding on when the Leap is necessary.
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It takes some serious adventures into the depths of the heart, and some fierce devotion to the Truth- daily.
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And this Truth? When she's ready to speak, there's not much we can do to stop her.
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Where are you still looking to the past to find your way forward? Where might you need to be a bit more of an Adventurer in boldly going where you've never gone before?
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I'm opening up space to work with me 1:1 in a deep container once again, with a few new programs designed to reveal who you are becoming, step into your worthiness, and embody all of who you came here to be.
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Link to set up a time to speak to me in profile, or DM me to learn more.
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A revolution requires looking straight ahead & trusting your steps- just like the fierce warrior you know you already are 🔥

Boudoir

I've done a lot of photo shoots in the past few years- from headshots to fire dancing and beyond. Photo shoots have become a ritual for me- less about the actual photos and more about a chance to go deeper in my body & tap into new levels of personal power. 
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But the experience I had last night, my first boudoir shoot, was beyond empowering in it's demands to embody both the soft AND fierce within me. 
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Most brides choose to do this before the wedding to give their love as a gift the day of. I knew that timing wasn't right, and waited.
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The months following I went into a cocoon- which I hear is WAY more common than anyone talks about. I faced all the parts of me still screaming for independence. I gained weight. Then lost it. I came face-to-face with where my boundaries needed some major tightening- and had to do the hard things to do so.
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So boudoir- it was the last thing I wanted to do the past 8 months. 
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And I'm SO glad I waited. How great I feel in my body again, how clear I am, how deeper in love with my husband I am then ever before- all came together to create a magical experience.
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Whenever we go through a Rite of Passage, there is the time in-between no longer who we were and not yet who we are Becoming. The Rite itself serves as the catalyst, then there is the journey through this space. 
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At some point we get to be reborn into the new we've been Becoming- and I'm pretty sure last night, dressed in minimal lace and standing in fields at sunset, my own Rebirth into this new woman took place 🔥

Wild & Holy

All the words & speechless on this one. And kind of sums up exactly how this seemingly quiet on the outside/ massive shifts on the inside weekend felt.
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It's been 9 years since my training with Ana kicked off the adventure I'm still on today- a 28 day Immersion into all things wild & holy that started just 3 weeks after I left finance.
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For many years after I said it was the hardest thing I've EVER done, and that still rings true today. 
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But reflecting back I learned things that I still teach to this day, even if I'm not teaching yoga like I had planned.
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It was a combination I can only describe as: a bacchanalia of sweat that left me feeling torn to shreds, and the first time I began to put those pieces back together into a new version of wholeness. A whole new version of me.
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Sometimes the primal screams of release can be the most holy of sounds.
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Sometimes the depths of forgiveness can be the most holy of salves.
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Sometimes pushing the limits of the strength of our body can lead us to holy surrender. 
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And always, the basic truth of who we each are as an animal human being is the most holy Truth we can encounter.
🔥🔥🔥