Settling a Score
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⚔️ I had a score to settle today ⚔️

For the past two weeks a part of me has felt incomplete- like I left something on the table & was stuck in an in-between I couldn’t quite name.

But I knew what it was- we always do.

When I had to stop running at Mile 20 of the Marathon to prevent an injury I felt starting I’m not going to lie- I felt defeated.

I still finished the race of course- and learned I’m a damn fast power walker to boot- but I didn’t finish MY way & felt like I left part of my soul out there on the course.

6.2 miles needed to be settled once my body recovered & I was sure I was injury free.

🏃‍♀️Today I got the job done🏃‍♀️

Here’s the thing I see happen with so many successful women- we have no problem playing at what I call the Risk Rodeo.

We know how to succeed AND are theoretically ok with ‘failure’ but when it appears in ways other than a complete fall on the face, we’re not quite sure what to do.

So we twist & we mold the story to fit a narrative that feels good to tell, but inside we feel a bit- sticky.

We’re used to crushing goals.

We know how to put plans into action. We’ve certainly been to this rodeo before.

And yet we’re never quite prepared for exactly how it will play out or accepting if it turns out differently than we hoped & visioned it would.

And therein lies the struggle. Just because it’s not ‘perfect’ doesn’t mean we didn’t kick ass.

Just because our proposal wasn’t accepted doesn’t mean we didn’t win.

Just because we aren’t getting the positive feedback we expect doesn’t mean we aren’t badass at what we are doing. {Lord do I have a story for another day on this one🐉}

And so when we face those moments that look like a win but feel like a failure compared to our expectations, we tend to give up, run away or rage.

The shift is in staying the course & getting back in the saddle despite the fear of doing so.

Today I didn’t just go for a run- I finished my metaphorical marathon that felt incomplete TO ME.

Did it feel good? Finishing did 👊🏻 But my body fought it, begging me to go back to comfort instead of risking success.

But risking success? Well that can be the greatest score we ever get to settle 👊🏻🔥🖤

26.2

Humbled & in awe yet again at the power of 26.2 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ Yes I finished. Yes tears were shed- in moments of true blessing AND pain.

I’m not going to sugar coat it- My body gave me an unexpected test today that all my training didn’t prep me for, but I didn’t give up. 

It all looked very very different than I imagined, but damn no matter what there is no feeling quite like crossing the finish line 🔥🔥🔥 I’ll share more soon Fierce Ones. But in the meantime know this: you CAN do whatever you set your heart to. It might not always be perfect, but it will be so so so worth it. 

Every damn step of the way 👑

A special shout out to my husband Matt Miller for all his support today, my amazing client Kate Marolt for finding me with an amazing sign & cheers and my parents for answering the phone when I called at Mile 20 crying. It was just the nudge I needed to change my approach & get it done no matter what ❤️ Happy Sunday Fierce Ones 🔥🏃‍♀️🔥🏃‍♀️🔥

Jennifer Blackstock