Have You Been Searching for a Hero?

What a wild and amazing couple of weeks it has been over here. At times it’s been ecstatic and exciting; at others it’s been confronting and challenging. Sometimes when we are in the midst of the adventure, we can lose sight of just how far we have come and just how different life is from a week, a month, a year or a decade ago.

The running of the race and being in the midst of the creative fire (or whatever it is you are working on!) is often thrilling, but I still believe the best part is when we get to celebrate in love and grace what’s transpired- able to look back at all that’s happened, every step taken and obstacle overcome, and begin to truly integrate all that’s shifted and changed. For me, that is what the past several weeks have been- spending time with my Tribe, bringing on new clients while graduating a few more, less time on the computer, more time in nature, planning trips and preparing to move into a space that will be the container to bring all of the work I do into real time, in-person experiences and events {More on that in a few weeks!}

As I’ve been in this integration, I’ve been fielding a LOT of emails and applications from women and men asking some version of the same thing-

How can YOU tap into your sacred flame & fire? How can you create more alchemy in your life to rise and come fully Alive?

In answering these seemingly simple {yet profound} questions, I’ve found myself spending a lot of time reflecting on the past several years since I embarked on this crazy adventure of running my own business and stepping into the role of healer, mentor and now- teacher. The past year especially has flown by and was wildly successful, but I humbly realize that it hasn’t always been this way.

You see, for many years, I was exhausted. Everyone close to me knew my common response to anything was always “I’m tired”... Working way too much, constantly caught in scarcity mentality, taking on too many clients to ‘prove’ I was worthy, suffering from adrenal fatigue, and jumping on every course, retreat, program or session that I could to fix what I thought was broken- my body, my spirit, my ability to THRIVE. Even though the numbers looked great and everything was packaged pretty and neat, I was still ending my days exhausted- yet hungry for more.

Somewhere deep within, I was living out the story of my core wound that I was not good enough to even be here living as a human being, and therefore was not good enough to thrive, feel awake and be alive {yes- core wounds run that deep by their nature}. And this was leaking into every area of my life- As Above, So Below.

Undervaluing myself. Not owning my power. Living in a city that I loved, but no longer felt like home. Living with an amazing man, but he was feeling much of the same himself.

Desperately seeking for someone or something to become my hero and save me from…. well… myself.

When I had this realization- and threw a mini tantrum that I had let this story play out for so long- I started to make small changes that added up fast. I held my breath as I ended one company and started another. I began to read my old mythology books from college, massage courses and yoga teacher trainings voraciously. I traveled to Peru and did some deep excavating in sacred ceremonies. I faced my biggest fear of losing it all...

Then- with a flash of lightening- on a redeye flight home from the east coast one snowy night, everything changed.

I was drawing in my journal unable to sleep due to turbulence, reading about and playing with the classic circle of the Hero’s Journey which started to morph and change as I drew. The names of the stages changed. Goddesses and animals appeared at each one. I saw women and men dancing to different beats along the path. A completely different shape presented itself to me. Then, it became 3-dimensional and pulsating as if it was… Alive....

{I promise- while yes travel weary, I was completely sober}

Then a flash of lightening hit outside my window, the plane literally jolted and I realized- I was so caught up in studying and loving the epic tales of heroes and heroines- that I was missing out on the most obvious lesson of the stories- I AM the heroine. You are the heroine. We ALL are the heroes of our own Sacred Myths- we just have to open ourselves up to that possibility- and understand the journey as it unfolds.

You just have to OWN it- who you are, what you do, and what you were born to be.

This revelation didn’t change everything overnight. Oh no. In fact, for a spell things got worse as I experienced every single place in my life where I wasn’t owning it, wasn’t listening, wasn’t standing in my own truth & power. And was seeking externally everywhere I turned.

But then, I started to make firm choices and took action. I asked the really deep questions and confronted with the fire of Kali why I was feeling this way. I cut out relationships that were major drains on my energy- even though it was really painful to do so.

I made Liberation my battle cry and Celebration my daily mantra.

That drawing from the plane sat hidden away for months- I was scared to look at it, scared to see what had come through that night- yet I just couldn’t let it go. Until 6 months later, when I opened that journal again, took off the brakes, let the fire flow through me, and created what has now become an entire body of work- The Heroine’s Odyssey™, which is the backbone and theory that supports my newest group experience- Alchemy Rising.

From there, well- let’s just say- life changed radically. 

I know I know- 'Great Jen- you can do it, but how can I feel/ do/ create something like that?’ you might be asking yourself right about now.

It’s a great question, and one I’m now dedicated to helping you explore. Especially if you are in the role of creating any transformative experience for others and/ or for yourself- such as a healer, coach, bodyworker, mother, father, manager, entrepreneur, in the non-profit world, CEO… if you are having impact on others' lives- or desire to- then knowing the internal journey of The Heroine’s Odyssey and having the tools to facilitate this process is one of the greatest gifts you can give both yourself and those you serve.

You see- I have a vision of a wild crew of embodied women and men dancing to their own beat, not afraid to simply be who you are, embody who you know you are deep in your heart, create what you want to create, and become your own hero in whatever outrageous way you came here to be.