How about a little romance
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
How delicious is this statement. Yet, how many of us really don’t follow or even believe it? I know for most of my 27 years, I haven’t. I’ve pretended I do, told people I do, but never really believed it. Until recently….
I guess to start this whole jump into blogging, I should give some background so you can have an idea of where I’m coming from these days. I moved to San Francisco about 3 years ago from New York (well, Hoboken to be exact). I wanted to try somewhere new and quite frankly, just needed to get away from the chaos that was my life at the time. I was early 20′s, single and partying hard in an industry that not only encouraged drinking, but paid for it. But I knew it wasn’t right for me, and California seemed like the perfect escape. I lucked out, moving here without knowing ANYONE yet meeting a great group of people who immediately became my friends. It’s been an adventure and I’m still loving it, but the chaos never really stopped, just changed locations. But at least here it felt like I was in the right place and I had my “urban family” to keep me company. I think the problem was that for so long I kept myself busy so that I didn’t really have to face myself. Instead I filled my time with work, drinking, drinking with work, training for marathons and triathlons, fitting yoga in and eating out and on and on and on trying to fill every minute of the day…
Until I was forced to stop last summer and, I guess as cheesy as it is, smell the roses. See all in one week, I lost my job because of “not performing in my numbers” (which for a type-A-overachiever-valedictorian-summa-cum-laude type does not sit too well), was dumped rather harshly (how does someone just literally disappear? gone? no goodbye? ), and a few other smaller events that alone would not have been bad, but when coupled with the big 2 above, seemed downright like the end of the world. Two straight months of not working, drinking and eating pizza every day (not exaggerating!) followed. I eventually landed a great job in October. I also took a trip to Hawaii, alone, that turned out to be the best thing I could have ever done for myself and led to finally realizing the quote that opens this post. During this time and since, I have learned a few important lessons that I want to share:
1) There is always someone willing to go out “for just a drink”, even on a cold Monday night. In fact after a while, they start to come to you.
3) Anyone who knocks therapy has never tried it.
4) Having “2 months off from work” really isn’t as cool as it sounds. It’s boring. And stressful. Wondering when you’ll get a paycheck again sucks and the stress can be so much that you live on a diet of Miller Lite and pizza and lose weight. It’s the next diet craze with this recession, I said it here first.
5) When times are tough, you find out who your true friends are, as hard as that may be. Even the ones you have known for most of your life who just can’t deal and so just bail.
6) On the flip side, when things get better, you may find that some who you thought were your friends really only were so when they were just a LITTLE bit happier than you. Think about it…
7) Traveling alone is something that everyone should do at least once, especially for those who think they can’t do it. The people you meet and the things you find out about yourself when all you have is YOU will both shock and delight you.
8 ) Having a job does not always mean you have a career. Even if the job is great and pays well, it doesn’t mean it’s what you should be doing. (I’m still working on this one)
9) You have to love yourself before you can really love someone else.
10) Your prayers will ALWAYS be answered, you just might not like what that answer is. You just have to have Faith that you are given what you need when you need it.
I prayed I could be happy and find love and all I got was a pink slip and dumped– at the time.
I thought my prayer was not only ignored, but spit on. Yet, all the pain led me to a place where I’m happier today than I’ve ever been and am just embarking on that “lifelong romance”. Funny how that works!
If you would have said to me a year ago that I would be writing here, devoting myself to my yoga practice & thus igniting my spirituality again, and consciously taking time off from dating to really get to know and love myself, I would have laughed in your face. But here I am. Jumping in and letting go and opening up to the possibilities of what’s to come.
Kinda tastes like champagne and pizza on a Friday night. Delicious!