“If life is wildly and innocently in love with you, are you prepared to start loving life back the way it loves you?”- Rob Brezney
So where do I even begin with all of this? Where do I start to get you all interested, to strike a cord and create a place for you to come to read and find a little bit of yourself in what I write? Tough one. A lot has happened since the last time I wrote a blog. In fact, I’d say most of what has happened was in answer to the above question- and yes, I began to love life back the way it loves me….
Very very long story short- 2 years ago my eyes were torn wide open and my life began to shift in ways that I would never have imagined. I had the “American Dream”- the cute apartment in the nice part of San Francisco, an AVP title at only 27 years old, a corner office, a fancy car, many men interested in me, and a very active social life with more friends than I could ask for…. Yet, despite all of these classical tenants of what happiness should look like, I was literally at the edge of falling into a dark abyss of self-loathing and self-hatred. I didn’t love life, rather I was behaving in ways that I despised. I was in an un-fullfilling job I hated, had a social life that was out of control, seeing men who were bad for me and drinking and partying way past my limits. I was on the fast track to killing my spirit, and in fact, almost did.
But then like a blunt force to the head, something snapped, changed, shook me to the core. I literally woke up one morning in an apartment that was not my own, and saw how much I had turned into a person I never wanted to be. That New Years Day 2008, I turned my life around. I began to search outside of my normal places for the answer to “What will make me happy?”. How do I find it, how do I get there, who do I need in my life to bring me there, where do I need to go, how can I begin to heal all that I had done to myself?
And you know what I found- the answer is right here, inside me. But what I needed to access this place was change my perspective and surround myself with people on the same journey, the hero’s journey as some may call it.
So where did this all lead? I embarked on my healing path. I started going to yoga and studying with teachers that opened my eyes to a whole new world inside myself. I reconnected with my spirituality in a major way, bowing to the grace that the universe provides. I quit my corporate finance job and became a yoga teacher myself. I found my second home at Esalen in Big Sur and I traveled to Southeast Asia for 8 months to study massage and healing modalities. And I began to find my passion for living a conscious life.
Now that I’m back in the United States, I’m starting afresh- a new apartment by the ocean, starting my own company focusing on holistic healing, finding my tribe and raising a new kitten- the Divine Ms. Shakti. This blog will be a combination of looking back over the past few years and looking forward to my next steps and the waves that my journey takes.
I hope you’ll join me for the ride. It’s time to get ‘Shaktified’….