I did it. I made the change. I'm still sort of in disbelief- new logo, new website, new NAME.
Ironic, considering the name is really not 'new' at all.
Here's the thing- I've been Green Star Holistix for 3 years now. I've been living, breathing, creating and birthing a company that very much is the heart and soul of myself. But in the process of what I thought was going to be the simple task of switching from iWeb to Wordpress for my website platform, a transformation occurred. A transformation I in no way anticipated. But it happened, and what you are viewing now is the birth of this transformation.
But the story goes back even further than that. I was born in 1980, and at the time, there was a fairly 'new' name that was gaining in popularity- Jennifer. Trouble was, it became the most popular name in the land for a few years there. Every class I was in, every camp I attended, every team I was on, I was one of many Jen's. The variety of nicknames I have had over the years to clear up confusion of which Jen is which range from Blackstock to Stable (long story) to some that can not be mentioned here. Bottom line was: I always hated my first name. Thought it was plain, ordinary, common.
My last name was a different story. I have a confession: I'm kind of in love with it. Like, really. As a kid, I used to imagine I was a rockstar and people chanting Blackstock as I performed. Obviously that never happened (I may be one of the worst singers ever, but I still love it). But I've always kind of dug it. I always love it when people ask me if it's 'fake'? Makes me smile on the inside.
But when I started this business, Green Star Holistix seemed natural. Who was going to notice another Jen anyway? The vision of Green Star Holistix was so clear in my mind of a healing center by the beach, that I failed to see my name in the mix at all.
But a few weeks ago, as I was working with designers and web developers, something kept feeling 'off' and like nothing 'fit'. Then I had a major realization. I was creating a webpage for myself and for my offerings, but I was doing it under the name of a healing center that still hasn't fully been created yet. And it just didn't feel right for what I am offering here now.
Green Star Holistix has a grand future, don't get me wrong. But it's a place. And it is destined to involve many more people than just myself. So it's still alive and kicking, just in a different capacity. Stay tuned, there is much more coming some day soon...
So then the question became- do I use my name? What sort of statement was that going to make? Could I overcome the 'Jen' curse, as I call it, and truly embrace my name, in it's entirety? Could I really let loose Jen Blackstock as a web presence?
But really, the heart of it was, and always has been, could I just be: Myself.
Could I accept myself, who I am, my name and all, and put it out there for the world to know who I am, what I do, and how I am in service to all of you?
And the answer, after many sleepless nights and countless meditations, was a resounding YES.
I actually think this is what all of my healing, all of my spiritual practices have been leading me towards. In this whole quest, this whole journey of several years- and really a whole lifetime- has been challenging me to constantly ask myself the age-old question- "Who Am I?"
And all the while, the answer was right there in front of me. Jen Blackstock.
It's so simple, yet so hard for us to see sometimes. We go on these journeys, these spiritual quests, these life altering path changing ever seeking always finding trips of a lifetime to arrive at what was in front of us all along. We just needed the journey to remove a lot of the gunk in front of our eyes that prevents us from seeing ourselves as we really are.
Whole. Perfect. Radiant. Complete. Inspired. Self.
This is not to say that I'm anywhere near the end of my journey, or have reached any exhaulted state of consciousness. I still have a lot of work to do, and I'm enjoying every bit of it, no matter how bumpy the ride may be at times. I'm simply finally accepting what is in front of the mirror, and making my full offering to all of you as I am today, here, now.
Of course I'm scared. It's a risk to change a name and re-brand. But it's a risk I'm willing to take.
So I humbly present to you JenBlackstock.com
This is my offering and service to the world.
This is my humble bow to all that is, and all that I hope to be.
This is my vision of the world, and my gratitude for all of the gifts I have been given by my teachers along the way.
Om hrim namah shivaya. Tasmai shri gurave namaha.