Are you Living out of Fear and Don't Even Know it?

“Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.” ― Rumi

Two weeks ago, I made a journey to the desert of New Mexico with my Mastermind group for our final retreat together of the year.

{That’s me above- there was an classic vintage pick-up truck on the property and we held an impromptu photo shoot for all the ladies with the truck. So much fun!}

As I’ve now come to see with many things in my life, when I thought I was joining a business coaching program, it really turned out to be a full on spiritual initiation. I was beginning to think that’s just how I roll, with everything I join being an initiation of sorts, but as I sat with these 17 other amazing women, I saw for the first time how a huge shift is happening in our collective consciousness. How not only myself, but many others around the world are waking up to our power in creating the life, love and careers of our dreams.

And realizing this collective shift I see happening everywhere isn’t about careers at all. This is about finding our individual Calling.

As with any program, triggers and fears, weakness and self-doubt crept in all year, and I was given wonderful opportunities to heal these things as they arose. It was within the context of working with my coach this year that I realized that I had abandoned my original vision for my work several years ago to instead fit in with the industry standards of ‘how it’s supposed to be done’. Why?

One word- Fear.

Fear of the unknown, fear of going against the grain. Fear of not getting any clients. Fear of messing up.

I went into this retreat feeling strong and ready to birth the new business and services I am about to reveal to you all next week. But as I sat in circle with these women, all of my fears came rushing to me all at once. I thought I had done all the work, made all the changes, internally decided and externally made my announcements. But in those final moments when I was speaking of my new project, fear came rushing in, and needed to be seen. And I saw clearly for the first time that for much of my life, I’ve been living out of fear of the unknown.

I had a choice to make in that moment- continue to live in fear and keep it in, or express it-fully– to the women who have become sisters to me this year, and see where the cards fell. I chose to express it, give words to it, and admit just how terrified I am- not of something bad happening or failing, but of my own power. Of stepping into a new way of working and revealing way more of myself in my offerings. Not of failing- but of really being seen for who I am as I step into my Calling.

In the following days, it clicked for me- in my work and in many sessions with all of you, we talk about fear often- fear of the unknown, of your bodies getting hurt again, of your heart breaking, of never finding The One, of not having a job, of messing up. And yes, these fears are valid. But the REAL fear isn’t of all those things, because often those things have already happened, and we are still alive to tell the tale and learn. No, the REAL fear is actually of our own power- of taking the risk and it actually WORKING. Because if it works, then we won’t have our excuses anymore, and can stay where we feel safe yet unsatisfied or in pain… and that feels easier than taking the risk.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.~ Marianne Williamson

So how do we liberate ourselves from these fears that are holding us back? Here are a few ideas:

1. Meditation- Any form of mediation works. There is a common misperception that meditation is to be used to ‘clear the mind.’ Normally the first few times one sits to ‘try’ to meditate, the fear that those thoughts are too much or ‘I’m not good at this’ come up, and so oftentimes, the practice stops. Sound familiar? Well those thoughts coming up- those are the fears, the doubts, the metaphorical demons and dragons that we need to slay to get to a place of more peace and calm. Have you ever heard of a fairytale where the knight was able to get to his happy ending by skipping all the adventure and dragons? No? Me either. We MUST face our fears, our doubts and worries- and realize they are an illusion to be slayed- in order to move on to the next level.

So go ahead. Sit. See what comes up, and instead of judging yourself for it, maybe see what those things are trying to tell you. I’ve said it a million times- meditation saved my life. And it is often what I resist the most.

2. Morning Pages- This is a great practice for The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Basically, start your day with pen and paper, and write out 3 pages of whatever needs to come out. This is stream of consciousness writing. Sometimes it is about your dreams, sometimes it is what is bothering you, your lists of to dos… basically all the clutter in your mind that is blocking you from truly creating. Try to for a few weeks and see how clearer you feel!

3. Find a Community- This is a huge one. You know, for years I really thought I could ‘do it all alone’. Start my business, build it up, take care of myself, take care of my loved ones and clients. But this year, I’ve learned the power of sisterhood and community in facing my fears and moving forward. Community can be found in any number of places- yoga studios, the gym, masterminds, online programs, church, meet ups…. really there are endless options- you just have to be ready and willing to open your eyes and jump in.

4. Join me in one of my new programs being announced on Tuesday, 10/8. I have developed programs specifically to work through these themes- how to honor your fears, your stories and your pain while sending them packing, create the space to be born into who you are meant to be, and then get out there in the world and do it. If you aren’t on the newsletter yet, be sure to sign up to be the first to hear on Tuesday.

And most importantly, will help me welcome in my rebirth on Tuesday- a day dedicated to Lakshmi, the goddess of abundance, beauty and rebirth. More on that next week <3

Have you ever had fear in your next step? What did you do to overcome it? Have you ever experienced an instance of fear of your own power? And what did you do?

Jennifer Blackstock