Can you believe it? It's here. It's now. We are the future. And from where I am sitting, the future is looking mighty bright. And super-charged for sure.
I've been silent these past few weeks as I like to turn in during the month of January and really assess, take stock and envision what I would like my year to become. While all the other bloggers and healers and self-help gurus are bombarding people with resolutions and intentions and 'new' ways to make this your best year ever, I've always seen January as more of a limbo- decompression from the year before and the perfect time to get really grounded in who you are and what you want to become in the newness of a new year.
So that is what I had planned for January- grounding, taking it easy, a light client schedule, reconnecting with loved ones, easing back into movement and meditation (because let's face it, both went out the window in December even for me). I set out with my own intention for 2013 to LIVE LIFE FULLY, and began to put the structures in place to create this expansion- I vowed to take more days off for me, start doing CrossFit at an amazing gym, say yes to more invitations with friends, sleep in on Sundays, buy the nicer bottle of wine to go with dinner, allow myself that piece of chocolate before bed just because I want it (and it's good, let me tell you!). I even signed up for a 10 month badass program called the Freedom Mastermind with Nisha Moodley that is already rocking my world.
Notice, I said planned & vowed.
That's not necessarily how it all went down this month. I've contracted in a lot of ways and continued some 'bad' habits from last year. I haven't taken one day 'off' all month from my working days. Instead of a light schedule, I've overbooked myself every week, not even knowing how I've managed to work on so many people in one month. Even a few of my typical 'weekend for me' days have been filled with working on friends, running around, trying to just stay ahead, stay healthy, stay grounded.
Not fall down. Really. If I'm completely honest about it. Just trying to not fall down in a heaping pile of exhaustion.
On my first day back from the holidays, I worked on a dear client who has known me since the beginning of my practice. As she walked out the door, she said to me "Jen, don't work too hard" I laughed and said "not to worry, it's a light month, I promise." But here's the thing- Maeve, I haven't kept my promise, and I realized this week that in not keeping my promise, I haven't been walking my own talk these past few months. And the fact that you saw it to even say something to me, tells me that something needs to change.
Now don't get me wrong- I LOVE what I do, every single day, day in and day out. My work makes my heart sing, loud and proud. It's what makes all the late night appointments, working on Saturdays, squeezing people in during breaks quite frankly easy for me. To see someone walk out the door no longer in pain-be it in body, heart, mind or soul- truly sets my own heart ablaze with gratitude and love.
You see, I set out 5 years ago with one vow- to serve others in the way that the Universe has chosen for me to do so, and I know that I have found that way, and continue to find new ways to do this as more is revealed to me through my practices.
And yet, there is the flip-side that in this quest to serve, my heart has been so fully in that service, that somehow, I allowed myself to lose my own freedom in it.
So as I begin on a year-long quest to discover what it truly means to Live Life Fully and experience true Freedom, I am seeing how some things need to change. How I need to create more time for me- hire an assistant (finally), take some evenings off, go to CrossFit & (gasp) yoga more, begin competing in athletic competitions again, take weekend getaways to the coast with my love, have more movie and pj's days with the phone turned off and cat snuggled beside me. Revise my offerings to all of you. Move more, love more, cry more and sing more. And so much more.
Because here's the thing with Freedom- it's all about the quest for more, the innate capacity of the human consciousness to constantly seek out more and more of ideally what makes us feel whole, connected, alive and truly divine. We are innately always creating more of what we have- but if anything is out of balance in our lives, it just might not be more of what we need. Like the picture above, our consciousness is constantly seeking the higher ground, higher spaces to inhabit, ways to move up up up. And the reward can be breathtaking- this is what I found after climbing the seemingly endless steps above when a Saturday morning client cancelled and I was gifted with 3 free hours:
So worth the struggle to get there. And quite frankly, I need more of it in my life. To serve both me, and you, and everyone I come into contact with.
So some changes will be coming in my private practice & online in the next few weeks that I'll be announcing soon. Nothing earth shattering, nothing major to be concerned about and in fact, most of you will probably really like and be really excited about some of what I have in store for you. They are changes that will allow me to continue in my quest for Freedom- and continue serving you in your quest for your own Freedom as well.
Now it's your turn- how has January shaped your coming year so far? Have you had time to take stock of your life and figure out what is working, what isn't and make plans to change it? To figure out what you most desire your life to be?
If not, I encourage you to do a simple exercise to begin the process. Look at how you are spending today and see how it makes you feel. Do you feel free with what you see, or do you feel constricted? Do you feel an expansion in your chest, or a contraction? Take some notes on all of these feelings and more. See what you write. Now do the same exercise for the week ahead, and the month, perhaps even this year. How do you feel with each of these? What makes your skin crawl, and what makes your heart sing? How can you begin to create more of what makes your heart sing, and what do you need to shift to begin removing the rest?
Please share below your own experiences and let's get the conversation started. Part of living life fully for me is interacting with you all more virtually, and a community of support is something we all could use a little more of in our lives!