Panic Attack

I had a panic attack today.

For the first time in years I experienced again what it feels like to have my body completely in fear while my mind and heart tried to convince Her all was ok.

I didn't want to post about it- at all- until I realized... I'm most definitely not alone in having them.

I found myself wanting to call it 'mild'- as if such a thing could ever be so.

Mild doesn't seem to exist when fear enters the room.

And it wasn't until I got home & laid down in my bed- still in my riding gear!- that the full adrenaline rush hit me like a freight train.

The what's, when's and how's don't matter now- an old memory, an old fear of a nasty horse from 25 years ago came rushing at me on a gorgeous crisp clear morning at the farm.

Did I face it?

You bet I did.

Am I ok now?

Hell Yes: Better- and clearer- than ever.

My body needs a good nights sleep, but my Heart- my Heart now understands so much more than she ever has ❤️

It took everything in me {with the help of people I trust implicitly} but in today's adventure I went deep into The Heart of Courage to find the truth:

It's safe.




In these things- So Comes Love.

And maybe, just maybe,find the smile ?

People ask me about the tattoos on my arms regularly. There was a time in my life when

Breathe. Surrender. So comes love.

Were my mantras to simply get through the day. When panic attacks like today- at things that others would barely blink an eye at- turn my body into an emergency flight machine.

Why today? Because something from my Heart is coming forth, and to bring it to life, I know I have to go deep into the Heart of Courage to do so. I asked the Divine to help pave the way to this Creation, and sometimes that next step is facing the fear standing between YOU and THE VISION.

For me. For you. For all of us who have big dreams and are so so SO ready to bring them to life.

Any fear lurking, any voice telling you no, any doubt or longing must be faced, soothed, and nurtured to truly get there.

While I wish I had a better ride or calmer morning, I wouldn't trade today's experience for anything.

For it brought me straight into the Heart of Courage.

Jennifer Blackstock