What to do if you are feeling stuck {Part 1}

As many of you know, my work has been evolving over the past several years, and as I work on transitioning into offerings that feel more authentic to me, the terminology I use and even my title may be changing. Stay tuned as I am rebranding my work, and in offering a mentorship program the scope of what I offer will only broaden, not lessen. I’m beyond excited to share what I am cooking up, so more to come on that in the following months.

With these changes, I will be writing more! I am the first to admit I let this side of myself go to the wayside, but I am recommitting to providing high quality content again starting now.

After last week’s post, I received many responses of readers feeling unhappy, or not satisfied, or perhaps let’s put it a nicer way- feeling ‘stuck’. There were 4 levels of response I received:

a) Like things aren’t necessarily bad, but no necessarily great either. You may find yourself saying things like “Once I pay this off, then I’ll be happy” or “Once I meet him/ her, then I will be happy” or “Once I leave this job, lose these 10 pounds, move to this city”…. I think you get the point. Or,

b) You completed the exercise from last week’s post, Are You Happy? and found that the answer wasn’t the resounding YES that maybe you had expected. And now you are in exploration phase, like myself, of what this means for you. Or,

c) Things are just downright bad right now, and you are struggling to find the light in the midst of hardship or crisis, and you truly are unhappy with where you are in life. Or,

d) You are happy, and you know that you did quite some work to get there, and are working on it every day.

Regardless of where you fit in the spectrum of responses, I like to call such times as being “stuck” and well, our job now is to get you ‘un-stuck’. Here are some ways to combat this, and get things flowing for you again so that you can start feeling Happy in your life:

1) Reflection and Contemplation with the exercises from last week’s post Are YOU Happy? Use these questions at the end to guide you in the answers you seek. I like to complete this exercise after my daily Stillness practice, outlined below. But know, the answers that come up will change, shift, not make any sense and sometimes may just scare you. Keep going. Keep asking. It’s in this deep exploration that we find what we are looking for, the piece to solve the puzzle, or whatever it is your inner wisdom is trying to get through to you.

2) Stillness- Stillness is the backbone of everything that I teach and use in my work, and you will be hearing a lot more about Stillness over the next few months. Stillness is where we tap into our intuition, our inner wisdom, what our body is telling us, calms the mind and helps access what our soul needs. It also has a very important physiological effect of calming our nervous system down so that our body can come into it’s natural rhythm and state of being. Once we know this state, we can begin to access it more and more to find the answers on what is not working, what is making us unhappy/ unhealthy, and what we need on all levels in our life. But the first step is to create the space to get to this place.

You can access this place in healing sessions such as CranioSacral Therapy, massage or restorative yoga. Or, on your own, start with 5 minutes, twice a day. Right when you wake up and right before you go to sleep. Or whatever works for you. But make the space and time to do it. Turn off all electronics and other distractions, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and allow your body to be still. You can be seated or laying down, whatever feels right for you. What got me in trouble is that I had cut out my evening practice because I was too ‘busy’, finished working too late or had other plans, and so I was missing out on a HUGE opportunity to check in with myself every evening on how I was feeling about the flow of my day.

Stillness is Listening, and it is listening in Stillness that can bring us to the inherent nature of who we are, and the infinite possibilities for our lives. Start listening. You never know what you might hear…

3) “Never be sad alone”- This is a lesson taught to me a few weeks ago by my mentor and coach, Nisha Moodley. Many of us humans have a tendency, when things aren’t going well, to isolate, hide our feelings or outright deny them so they bottle up- which often makes this worse. Though it seems harder to open up to others and be vulnerable when things are bad, it actually feeds us to connect with others during this time. There is this common belief that if we are in distress, reaching out will be seen as ‘needy’ or we may burden or annoy or even alienate those who we seek help from. It is one of my beliefs, however, that this is just bull. Reaching out, showing our vulnerability and opening up to the loved ones in our life can bring a whole new understanding, connection and love to those who surround us. What we often don’t realize is that really, people WANT to help us. They really do. Think about how often you have been there for others in their time of need, and how much you did it without expecting anything back. If you are sad, or unhappy, or just ‘in it’ open yourself up to receiving help from others. And if you don’t have anyone you feel you can open up to within your social and family circle, find a therapist, a healer, a coach, book a session with me, with anyone who can serve in the capacity of holding space for you to ‘Never be Sad Alone’.

This one act may just change your life. It already has changed mine.

Stay tuned, I have 3 more tips coming your way in parts 2 of this series. We’ll continue to explore steps you can take if you are feeling stuck or unhappy, but start with these 3 to build the foundation for what it to come.

Jennifer Blackstock