What to do if you are Feeling Stuck {Part 2}

Let me just start off with saying- you ALL are so amazing. The past few weeks have been a time of healing and slowing down, and at the same time MAJOR renewed inspiration and motivation. The emails, hand written cards, messages on facebook, and comments here have blown me away with the support so many of you have offered. And your COURAGE- your courage in asking yourselves the same questions to find out what you want and desire in your life, what is part of your own formula for happiness- has been so inspiring to witness.

So thank you to all of you who have reached out, it’s been a true blessing, and a huge reminder of why I do what I do everyday. And why I made the decision 2 years ago to share my own journey with you- by me being open and vulnerable, I have seen so many of you blossom simply in the knowing that you are not alone and pushing through the resistance to change. It makes my heart swoon to see such beauty emerging in each and every one of you I meet and communicate with here, and encourages me to keep on keepin’ on- exploring the shadows in my quest to live in the light.

And here’s the best thing- in my offering up to all of you my confession, and my practices to get past it, I have begun to feel better than ever in a short amount of time- so inspired, ready to take on a new project birthed out of this experience, and seeing the beauty and diamonds in every moment of every day. These tips work, I am living proof of it. And I am loving supporting all of you in your sessions here with them as well. This doing what you love thing really rocks!

Someone asked me last week if they should hold off doing these practices until they feel ‘stuck’- NO. Start them now! Every single one of us will go through tough times, where we are challenged and asked by the Divine to step into the life we want to live (though it may not feel like that is what is happening when you are in the midst of it). Having some of these practices already established can help you move through those times much faster and more gracefully than maybe you have in the past. Create the foundation now so you know them when you REALLY need them.

Anyone in the midst of big change, take note: If you excavate one area of your life, you’re going to find diamonds and stones everywhere else. It’s stunning.- Danielle LaPorte

So back to our list of What to do if you are feeling ‘Stuck’- how did last week’s exercises go for you? I have a few more for you this week, and about a hundred others I could include, and I’m sure a thousand more that all of you could contribute. So here we go:

1. Movement– Get off the couch, out of bed, away from your desk, away from your ‘to-do’ list and get your body moving. Go for a walk around the block or in the park, to your favorite yoga or dance class, or go sweat it out with a run or CrossFit. Anything that gets your limbs moving, your heart rate up, and muscles engaging. This serves many purposes, the most important being if we feel stuck in life, we will feel stuck in our body. If we can’t get to what that ‘thing’ is that we are stuck on emotionally, if we can find where it is hiding in the body and get it moving there, it could seriously help us unstuck the emotional or mental piece as well. I hear it time and time again- stories of feeling stuck on a project or what to do about a relationship and how going for a run, yoga or dance brought the answer. There is a physiological component to why this is which we’ll explore in a few weeks, but in the meantime- get moving!

2. Mourning in the Morning– I learned this concept a few years back when I was working through some hidden anger I unearthed in my healing process. It was revealed to me, and came with a profound sadness as well. Once it came up, it felt like it wanted to be front and center all the time, and I really didn’t want to walk around sad and angry- so I put this into practice. Every morning, set a ritual of 20 minutes for your Mourning time. Set the timer, and for that 20 minutes, allow yourself to feel the full intensity of the emotion you are feeling- it could be screaming into a pillow, huge heaping sobs, punching a punching bag…. whatever you need for those 20 minutes to express that emotion. Then, when the timer stops, you are done. Switch gears by sitting down to list all the things you are grateful in your life. Keep writing until you can’t stop. And hold no judgements for how much, or how little you wrote. Then during the day, if you feel any of these emotions arising, stop- take a deep breath and tell your system you will address it in your next Mourning in the Morning practice. By allowing the space for these emotions to be expressed, your system is way less likely to lash out during the day, and you are able to get the emotions out instead of stuffing them down. Very powerful practice.

3. Ask you yourself every morning- if this was my last day on earth, how will I live it? I love this one so much. It seems like such a simple question, and yet it could be the hardest one we ever ask ourselves. It could be very confronting if you ask this every day, and find that most days what you have on the schedule is not what you would like to be doing. Or it could show you that what you really want, who you want to be with and how you want to spend your time is actually how you are already doing it and all you need to do is appreciate it more. Or maybe you realize you really want to dance every morning, or what you are doing is SO your perfect work, you just want to be doing a little less of it so you have time for yourself. Or maybe you really want to read a gossip magazine over coffee every day- who knows what answers may come. But let them, and see what you can do everyday to make your answers come true. This is a practice of finding your DESIRES- and fulfilling them.

4. CranioSacral Therapy/ Bodywork/ Energy Healing/ Massage– or really any of the healing modalities. What works for you, and what type are you craving right now. Are you craving Stillness, or deep release of the muscles? Do you feel what is going on is a past life pattern that needs to be released, or maybe it’s roots are in a childhood trauma. Check in with yourself and see what type of bodywork YOU need to start to feel better. There is a saying- Our ISSUES are in our TISSUES- therefore, by releasing the tissues that are holding on, we can begin to release what is holding us back emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I of course would love each of you to come into for a session with me to help, but I know that’s not possible for many of you around the world who are reading. And for some of you, a sports massage or rolfing may be what you need. I don’t care what you do or who you see, just as long as you do something! See someone you feel drawn to, and allow your body to release what it is holding on to. 

And a note on this in particular- I believe we all, each and every one of us, needs help, love and support from other human beings. And it’s ok to ask for help, and it doesn’t mean you are weak or have a problem. I believe that every person we encounter has something to teach us, and if you are in the healing world- or if you are in any capacity helping other human beings like running a company, a family, anything- you need to be getting worked on regularly. There are many reasons for this, the most important being if you are giving, you must be receiving as well for balance, and by getting worked on you learn not only about yourself but about healing others as well.

I believe we ALL need healers, teachers, guides, no matter what your profession or where you are in life. So seek out help, even if you are feeling great- it’s ok, it’s beautiful, and it’s part of being human <3

5. Creating Space for Serendipity– I LOVE this one. The beautiful Elle Luna taught it to me this week. I’ve been doing this practice for the past few months, but Elle named it perfectly. The practice: create unstructured time for yourself in your schedule. It could be a whole day once a week, or 4 hours every Tuesday where you don’t plan ANYTHING- no lunches, appointments, you can’t do what is on your to-do list- you just follow your heart in every moment of what you want to do. It could be absolutely nothing, or it could be going to the tea shop you’ve been wanting to try for years but ‘didn’t have the time’- and all of a sudden you make the space for it, and while sitting there you meet the love of your life.

Or you have something planned that could be done at home, like taking a conference call, and your heart screams at you to sit in your car at the beach instead of sitting at your desk to take the call- and in the middle, a pod of 3 huge whales appear right in front of where you are parked and you get to watch them jump and play in front of you while on your call. True story, this happened to me on Tuesday! It was so unexpected, so amazing and would never had happened if I took my call from home like I always do.

Creating space for serendipity. Let your life be a little unstructured sometimes, let yourself do things differently once in a while, take a different route, go to a different coffee shop- you just never know what magic may happen to reignite your spark!

Now it’s your turn. What practices do you do when you are feeling stuck? Did you use them before and stop for a while? Have you ever tried one of the above a had success with it?

Be sure to share- you never know who may hear YOUR words and it could change their life!

Jennifer Blackstock