If my Growth makes you Uncomfortable

Growth

It’s been one of those skin shedding weeks over here for this girl 🐍🖤🐉
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Isn’t it funny? How we plan & we act & we pray and all of sudden like *puff* the dreams all become reality. Life changes. Circumstances change. WE change.
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And yet certain parts of ourselves still try to rally the old battle cries and treat life & situations like they used to be.
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Truth time: in the midst of incredible energy these past few months, sneaky little spikes of my old friend anxiety came creeping back in. I know I live with it, and I’ve chosen exercise, food, stillness & intentionally facing my anxiety in stress-triggering situations {i.e. riding Oliver} to mitigate it.
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99% of the time it works. 1%... well some old skins come back.
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Checking the door 5 times to make sure it’s locked. Triple checking the burners on the stove before bed. Wondering about money even though it’s there and coming in. Being nervous about social invitations involving more than 3 people. Feeling overwhelmed when the arena has several other horses cantering around us.
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Old things which used to paralyze me, coming back around for not-so-friendly visits. And it’s fair to say, I haven’t been a fan as to why 🤷‍♀️
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Until I saw this & it clicked- I’m used to expecting that change in oneself often brings change in community, but this time it was an old skin of MINE that was hanging on for dear life, desperately wanting to understand why I had moved on.
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So this evening I spend some time with her, not explaining why I outgrew her, but making it ok.
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✨Sometimes we aren’t actually scared of what others will think if we transform, we’re scared of leaving old parts of our own self behind✨
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Realizing this can shift everything 🔥👊🏻🖤