Oops- When mistakes turn into Blessings

Fun fact: Last week I accidentally deleted the Master File AND my backup file of the book I’ve been writing for the past 10 months and traveled to the other side of the world to begin.
..
Like- they wound up in Trash during a laptop cleansing afternoon. I emptied Trash without realizing the folder they were in was there. They now reside in the graveyard of computer files never to be seen again.
..
After an initial feeling of being punched in the gut when I opened Scrivener and saw the ‘there are no files to open’ message & realized what I’d done, I actually felt like this picture.
..
Full of joy. Laughing hysterically at myself. And the most liberated I’ve felt in a looooooooong time 🤷‍♀️
..
There have been moments this week of mourning the loss of 100+ pages of my words & ideas. But like the shedding of a skin, sometimes a creative project is more for our OWN growth than for public consumption.
..
Writing a book about Worthiness took me on a journey that transformed how I show up in the world yes, but more importantly how I show up for myself. It showed me the underbelly of the publishing world that I was truthfully beginning to question if I even wanted to be a part of. And it showed me all of the areas I still try to prove, strive or manufacture a sense of worth to fit in.
..
About 30 pages have been saved- I luckily had sent my photographer for this very shoot in April Part 1 of the book. So I’m contemplating this weekend how to best share what I still have... because maybe the rest was only for me or was meant for something else, and it’s time for the world to see this part without waiting for publishing.
..
Maybe. Maybe not 😉
..
I find most projects never turn into what we think they will. In the past this would have devastated me or I would have become obsessed with the ‘why did this happen’ distraction, but nowadays I’m in such full Trust that it’s perfect in how it’s playing out.
..
And when we Trust this deeply, we get to sit back & laugh at ourselves and wonder at the pure Grace at play.
..
Happy Friday Fierce Ones 🔥

Jen Laughing