Just Show Up

A few weeks ago I was speaking with a friend about how fast life can change when we make the decision to do exactly this: SHOW UP.
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At this time last year, I was in the midst of an episode of depression & anxiety that I saw no way out of. Everything in my life represented all of the ‘boxes’ finally being checked off, but something was missing.
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I had worked & hustled & followed my Ambitions for so long & my dreams came true, but then I had a sinking feeling of Now What? I was ashamed for feeling that way when I had everything I ‘should’ have wanted, so hid it as best I could.
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It rattled me. Then a trip to Bali- where I wanted to come back home almost immediately after landing- showed me all the places where the boxes were checked, but I was not fully showing up. A long time ago I learned that my 60% gets me really far & I had let myself slip into inertia without even realizing it. Talk about Humbling AF 🤦🏼‍♀️
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I’ve actually been struggling the past few weeks as memories pop up from a year ago, seeing pictures & coming to terms-without judgement- with where I was at that time.
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That trip + a series of events last fall got me out of my inertia and back into- well- ME.
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✨A new barn inspired me to get my ass in shape to be a better equestrian 
✨My dear friend @chefrosemcguire introduced me to eating according to Macros and I fell in love with it
✨We took the leap of faith & bought a @onepeloton 
✨The instructors of Peloton felt like I had finally found ‘My People’ 
✨I stopped worrying about platform, what people think, or ‘numbers’ and started to share more of ME online
✨And I threw down fierce boundaries in many relationships that I felt drained in
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It was some of the heaviest lifting I’ve ever done in my life. But slowly, the pain started to feel good, then great, then fucking fantastic & all of a sudden, ALL I wanted to do was Show Up.
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Often it tempting to say ‘This was the key! Follow my secret!’ But really, creating sustainable change is often a series of many choices, ahas, trying new things & them working or failing. 
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Ultimately, just Showing Up. It might be messy, it might not work, or it might be epic. But we never know until we try🔥

Show Up