Re-Writing Myself

A year ago, I was preparing to embark on a journey across the world to write a book about Worthiness. I thought I was going to write the whole thing & come back ready to pitch & publish.

But as we all know, the best laid plans never happen the way we anticipate.

I thought I was on track to write my next big thing.

Turned out, I was actually about to Re-Write MYSELF.

Mama Bali had smacked me once upside the head years before, and this time was no different. But instead of thrusting me into a healing journey, she catapulted me OUT of that journey & the spiral of what I lovingly call being a spiritual asshole {sorry not sorry}, into FIERCELY loving myself for all of the places I previously had been hiding for fear of being Too Much.

While it was humbling to come face-to-face with how much I HADN’T been showing up for myself, I am damn PROUD of the woman I’ve become from the process 👊🏻 {and daaaaaaaamn did it take some serious heavy-lifting of the emotional kind to get here}.

Transformation may be simple, but it is never easy 👑

By fiercely owning my ambition as a part of who I inherently am-not as a way to prove myself anymore- and fully embracing my desire to be a fierce, fiery woman in my body, my relationships & in the world, I utterly transformed my life.

With that came a firm declaration of no more drama, no more people pleasing, no more treating my body as my shield and no more looking to others {or success, or food, or alcohol or....} to save or fix me.

Some days it’s been hard, grueling work. Where old ways of trying to keep the peace came in, old patterns of drama tested me, old ways of eating snuck in, old excuses tried to run the show.

But choosing to choose another way, one step at a time 👣

Was it worth it? 10000% YES

All day. Every day. For the rest of my life I’m a YES.

Sure I got some abs in the process, but who cares? I feel better, I show up fiercer, and I love even harder. 

This is what it’s all about- and THIS is the lifelong commitment that it took to not only mythically ‘get here’ {whatever that means} but to continue it Every. Damn. Day.

I wrote my first BLOG all year about it- check it out in the link 👇🏻

Jen Beach