Life is Humbling and Beautiful

It’s humbling to look back a year or two or ten & see how much we were struggling when life wasn’t happening according to ‘plan’.

A year ago was one of the lowest points of my life. A series of events in the year prior chipped away at my confidence during what was supposed to be the happiest time of my life {newly married, a new horse owner} & seriously made me question who I had been investing so much time in as my community.

As a woman who is a classic overachiever & has never struggled with confidence {ahem 🦁}, it was a blow I didn’t quite know how to handle. While my business was soaring & my marriage thriving, I felt like I suddenly didn’t know who I was as a woman- and especially an ambitious woman in community.

I can say it was anxiety & depression & weight-gain but at its core it was a subtle disconnection from both my body AND from the original vision I had for myself years ago. I had veered in another direction at one point, until I just couldn’t bear it any longer.

And- you know- some sloppy boundaries 🤔

Rest helped- until it didn’t. 
Crying helped- until it didn’t.
Wine helped- until it didn’t.
Rage helped....

See a pattern here?

What finally broke through it was being willing to tear it ALL down if I had to {I didn’t have to, but a lot did have to go}, reconnect with the Faith I grew up in but in MY Feminine focused way, give up alcohol and GET MOVING MY BODY again in all the ways she was literally STARVED for.

Decisions became clear.
Relationships disappeared.
My body responded- thirsty for more.

And with each drop of sweat 💦 my anxiety dissolved & my depression lightened.

Did it happen overnight? Nope.
Does it return now & again? Yup.
Does it get messy at times? You betcha.

But the more I tap into the paradox of existing in a thriving body by giving her the outlets she needs AND showing up in the world by being successful (according to MY terms only) the more I’m able to handle it when these feelings do arise.

And I swear- boundaries may just be the weight-loss secret no one is talking about 🤫

It’s not actually about the pounds you lose or any of the hows, it’s SHOWING UP in the discomfort DAILY that claims our power back 🔥

Jen