When did this become Normal?

Today I found myself telling a story to a friend that I’ve told a million times. It began as an innocent answer about a hotel in Vegas & ended with finally feeling a sense of peace- & quite an aha- about a ‘thing’ that happened on a work trip when I was in finance years ago.
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If you know me personally, you know the story & I’m always happy to tell it when asked. While I won’t air it on social media, the basic gist is that all those stories you’ve heard about finance & strip clubs & bosses hiring women based on looks & drinking and and and.... oh woman are those stories true. I could fill a night full of them.
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But this one was different- I had never before been hit on by a boss. I was lucky in a sense- I said no at the first big move & was respected... but was fired a week later for- I kid you not- performance issues. I went onto another job- at a massive pay cut- but it was in that moment that I knew my career, my ambition, my success would utterly be changed forever.
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It was when I first sought out therapy. It was when I first questioned many things in my life.
And it was when I began to silently doubt my worth- not in I’m not enough, but in feeling a Danger in being Too Much {<MASSIVE AHA🔥}
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What struck me today is that no matter who you believe or what your thoughts are or what is the truth, is just how ‘normal’ certain things have become. And how many of us have found our ways to deal, to cope, to live our lives in spite of what’s happened.
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I know my way has always been to find my strength in the situation, to reclaim my power back. But even with that-
At times I still feel the pain. 
At times I still believe the words said to me when I was fired about not being good enough. 
At times I realize I energetically put a cap on myself to never again make as much 💵 as I made in that job {which I’ve come close- within dollars close- but still address daily}.
And I know I’m not alone.
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I have so much more to say but for today what feels important is this: ⚔️Check on your strong friends. Check on the women you feel might be struggling today. 
Check on those you just feel like you need to.
And care for you- always 🖤



Jennifer BlackstockComment