Some Weeks we Need to Surrender

There are some weeks where I absolutely slay it lately & then there are some weeks where I just simply don’t.
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The shift is that for a long time the latter was often the case as I sat in the excuses that I silently agreed to that told me I couldn’t, instead of finding ways that I COULD.
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🔥We all reach a point where the pain to stay the same is greater than the pain to change🔥
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For a long time, the State of My Body ruled the show. If something felt off or was in pain or I was tired, I let that be the guiding force to be in a state of Not Doing. Which after years of hard hustle in finance & racing was a relief.
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Truth is, I do have a few conditions that could ‘stop’ me if I let them {& for a long time I did}:
-Lymes Disease
-Bells Palsy
-Spondy- where my L5 sticks out of my spine >30% causing all sorts of issues in my lower body/hips
-Estrogen dominance 
-Low Blood Pressure
-A pre-disposition to the Big C that I need to keep an eye on
- And more
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I used to HARDCORE identify with these as reasons why I Could Not. 
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Now- yes- they are a part of me that I care for, but they do not DEFINE me. There is a massive difference. 
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Last week, my doctors wanted to do further tests on something I’ve lived with since I was 18. 
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Truth: the procedure hurt & it brought up a lot of emotion as my body healed & processed what it was about.
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I had to slow down. I had to trust my doctors. I still have to wait for the results 😳 
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But NO WAY was I going to let it become a way to slip back into inertia. Instead of stopping, I adjusted. Instead of pushing through, I opened my schedule for more SPACE. Instead of saying fuck it I’ll just sulk, I took even BETTER care of myself with food to support my body & lighter movement.
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In the past, something like this would have been a high red alert. Now- it’s simply taking care of me. No drama. Strong boundaries. Lots of cuddles with the beasts. And no tears, because there is no longer shame.
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This morning I woke up with ideas flowing, my body feeling SO strong & ready to get back in the game.
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There is a 🗝 that shifted this for me that I’ll be sharing this week. In the meantime- one more day of rest with my love ❤️

Ocean



Jennifer BlackstockComment