I seriously tear up every time I walk past this table- which is multiple times daily 🥇
If you would have told me 2 years ago that this scene would exist in my life again, I would have laughed.
You see there in the left hand corner? That’s the medals & race bibs I kept from when I raced 10-15 years ago. Many more are missing- including 4 Nike Women’s Tiffany necklaces.
I thought I had thrown them all away when I was told to stop running, but these few remained hidden away until a few months ago.
Truth: it was painful to look at them for a long time. It made me feel unworthy that I was no longer an ‘athlete’. They became symbols of who I wanted to be, but had every excuse never to become again.
For a decade I told myself I didn’t need it. For a decade I judged myself for not being strong enough to continue. For a decade I convinced myself that maybe this wasn’t for me.
And for a decade I let myself live in an excuse that was no longer valid.
I’m proud of each of these medals- from the rusty ones of a decade ago, to the bright shiny ones of this past year.
Not because they prove some level of worth or really- prove anything.
But rather because they each have their own story, a challenge I overcame, a pain I worked through, and a brutal honesty with myself to challenge what’s possible while also honoring where I am.
A few more will be added in the next few months- some monsters I never thought I would see again & at least 2 bucket list races I only dreamed about all those years ago.
But I’m ready. I’m damn excited. And I can’t wait to see where else this all takes me 🏃♀️