Infinite Lightening

I believe The Worthiness Revolution is the modern heroine’s journey. 

I’m a mega-fan of Joseph Campbell’s work and have been studying the classic depiction of The Hero’s Journey since I was a teenager. If you don’t know what The Hero’s Journey is, think of your favorite epic movies, like Indiana Jones, Harry Potter or The Hunger Games. Each involves a hero-type character who at first appears to be not that special or worthy of grand honors. But then something happens that takes them on the adventure of a lifetime. They meet adversaries, must overcome obstacles, find their strength & courage and in the process, learn who they truly are. 

They follow the trail to their Destiny and despite all odds, come out victorious. 

Now- you might be thinking that’s great for them, but we don’t necessarily have massive journeys to undertake these days, wars to overcome, evil wizards to stop or countries to save. And you are right- thank Goddess.

But that doesn’t mean that each of us doesn’t have a Destiny to fulfill. For years I studied Campbell’s work and something always felt- how can I put this- not quite complete when it came to the feminine perspective. I would stare at the classic circle depiction of the journey and feel like it was close, but still too linear in a sense for what I was experiencing within myself as The Worthiness Revolution was arising within me.

How was the Revolution arising within me?

For many years, I was exhausted. You could say- for most of my life really. Everyone close to me knew my common response to anything was always “I’m tired”... Working way too much, constantly caught in scarcity mentality, taking on too many clients to ‘prove’ I was worthy, suffering from adrenal fatigue, and jumping on every course, retreat, program or session that I could to fix what I thought was broken- my body, my spirit, my ability to THRIVE. Even though the numbers looked great and everything was packaged pretty and neat, I was still ending my days worn out to the bone- yet hungry for more.

Somewhere deep within, I was living out the story of my core wound that I was not good enough to even be here living as a human being, and therefore was not good enough to thrive, feel awake and be alive {yes- core wounds run that deep by their nature}. And this was leaking into every area of my life- the old alchemical key of As Above, So Below living out in my life in real time. 

Undervaluing myself. Not owning my power. Living in a city that I loved, but no longer felt like home. Living with an amazing man, but he was feeling much of the same himself and we were leaking our power everywhere in the relationship {we’re now married, and it’s amazing. But more on that adventure later}.

I was desperately seeking for someone or something to become my hero and save me from…. well… myself.

When I had this realization- and threw a mini tantrum that I had let this story play out for so long- I started to make small changes that added up fast. I held my breath as I ended one company and started another. I began to read my old mythology books from college, massage courses and yoga teacher trainings voraciously. I traveled to Peru and did some deep excavating in sacred ceremonies. I faced- and made peace with- my biggest fear of losing it all...

Then- with a flash of lightening- on a redeye flight home to California from the east coast one snowy night, everything changed.

I was drawing in my journal unable to sleep due to turbulence, reading about and playing with the classic circle of the Hero’s Journey which started to morph and change as I drew. The names of the stages changed. Goddesses and animals appeared at each one. I saw women and men dancing to different beats along the path. A completely different shape presented itself to me. Then, it became 3-dimensional and pulsating as if it was… Alive....

{I promise- while yes travel weary, I was completely sober}

Then a flash of lightening hit outside my window, the plane literally jolted and I realized- I was so caught up in studying and loving the epic tales of heroes and heroines- that I was missing out on the most obvious lesson of the stories- 

I AM the heroine. You are the heroine. We ALL are the heroes of our own lives- we just have to open ourselves up to that possibility- and understand the journey as it unfolds.

You just have to OWN it- who you are, what you do, and what you were born to be.

This revelation-turned-revolution didn’t change everything overnight. Oh no. In fact, for a spell things got worse as I experienced every single place in my life where I wasn’t owning it, wasn’t listening, wasn’t standing in my own truth & power. And was seeking externally everywhere I turned.

But then, I started to make firm choices and took action. I asked the really deep questions and confronted the fire deep within me as to why I was feeling this way. I cut out relationships that were major drains on my energy- even though it was really painful to do so.

I made Liberation my battle cry and Celebration my daily mantra.

That drawing from the plane sat hidden away for months- I was scared to look at it, scared to see what had come through that night-yet I just couldn’t let it go. Until 6 months later, when I opened that journal again, took off the brakes, let the fire flow through me, and stepped fully into the shoes of a Worthiness Warrior.

From there, well- let’s just say- life changed radically. And a Worthiness Revolution was born.

For each of you, I know you will have your own definition of what the Revolution is, and how it shows up for you.

So what did I see that evening? How does the Feminine version differ? First of all, it became an Infinity symbol. And the stages began to represent the inner journey vs the outer adventure. 

 

 

Jennifer BlackstockComment