Sober Curious

| SOBER CURIOUS |
Today, I am one month sober.
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Or rather, it's been a month since the last hot summer night beer shared with my husband when we looked at each other & simultaneously felt- done. For now.
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I 1st heard this phrase #sobercurious a few months ago from @the_numinous & chills ran down my spine. It's been a quiet part of my journey & here was someone who GOT it.
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In 2007 I went to my 1st therapist. I was a fun loving 27 year old in San Francisco with an expense account & DJ friends. My first question to her was 'Do I have an alcohol problem?'. She said no- you have a career & friend problem that are entwined with alcohol.
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Thus began my journey to reclaim my life. I left the job. I left most of the friends. And I created a life that literally is made of my dreams.
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But alcohol still played in the background as something that felt more than casual.
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Last year I reached a turning point. After exploring 'medicines' in a spiritual context, in July I made a solid vow of no more. My visions are wild enough without the added help 😳 
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Do I regret my work with them in the past? No. But I'm clear they are no longer for me at this point in my life.
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But champagne, a good beer on a hot day, and a glass of red with a steak still found their way into my hands more often than I care to admit. 
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But I slowly started to feel the effects more- not in hangovers, but in more subtle ways that made me feel cut off. So I placed boundaries around it.
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Last year I brought this up to someone & her response was 'But champagne is part of your brand!! It's part of YOU'👆🏻
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This hit me, because it was the furthest thing from the Truth. It's not ME. And the fact that anyone saw it as that sounded the alarm on multiple fronts.
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But alas, this spring the turning point turned into a breaking point. And I knew we needed a break.
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And that break, has led to breakthrough after breakthrough- most notably the past 48 hours.
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Am I done forever? I frankly don't know. What I do know is I feel more ALIVE than I've ever felt, more clear in who I am, & stronger in my body.
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A rare glass of bubbly may still come around & now I know I can celebrate even that 🔥