How to Turn Pain into Personal Power
Happy New Year and welcome to 2016!! I'm so happy to be settling into a fresh energy and into what feels like a clean slate. So much has happened in the past few weeks and I've been undergoing a massive internal shift into something new & bigger. But this shift didn't come from the turning of the year or some amazing holiday break. In fact, it actually came from something so unexpected- so painful- that I was thrown off course momentarily until I found my legs again- literally and metaphorically.
You see, 7 weeks ago my body started to loudly call out for my attention.
At first it was a dull whisper in the form of some slight pain around my lower back. Sprinkled in with a healthy dose of heaviness and slight weight gain over a few days. Then the pain in my back grew into a gentle roar until a few days later, it was a loud, piercing scream of:
STOP. LISTEN. NOW.
{The message was so strong that this week's podcast- Turning Pain into Personal Power- is all about what happened, and what has transpired since.}
A simple moving of some furniture sparked it: trying to be strong and independent and carry a desk upstairs while my partner Matt was at work. Did it have to be done in that moment? Of course not. But I was feeling great, motivated & something told me to move it myself. I'm so grateful it did, because it led to one of the biggest openings and expansions into an old/ new Vision that was ready to come to life- but I was noticeably ignoring.
Halfway up the stairs, I felt a sharp pain ripple up my spine and something pull deep in my right hip.
If you've ever had lower back pain and especially sciatic pain, you know that it can be a long journey to heal- sometimes weeks, months or even years to relieve the nerve pain and come back to full movement again. And if you've ever had the courage to dive into the emotional component of back & hip pain, you know it is rich with insights and deep spiritual lessons.
You see, I don't talk much about the specifics of the healing journey I've had with my own body because we all have our own relationship with these amazing bodies we've been given, and what has transpired for me has actually been a long and difficult one over the years- which is why I now approach every single day as another chance to meet my body where it is at and communicate with Her in all the ways I can.
SO WHEN MY OWN LOWER BACK WENT OUT LAST MONTH FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS, I KNEW SOMETHING SPECIAL AND EVEN POTENTIALLY LIFE-CHANGING WAS BREWING.
I get emails and questions almost daily asking how to develop a relationship with your body- and more importantly what to do when pain, illness, injury, or weight gain come rolling in as signs that something is happening on an emotional or soul level asking {or often begging & screaming} for your attention.
From transforming being overweight at various times in my life into a fit healthy body today, to Lymes Disease & Bells Palsy {partial facial paralysis} that I still live with, to broken arms and nasty falls during triathlons, to nerve pain, migraines, tinnitus that never goes away, digestive issues and... and... and.... all of which have given me the tools that have led to all of the work that I do here and with my clients day in and day out.
But in many ways, the injuries- and subsequent healing journeys- from my days as a competitive hunter/ jumper equestrian have been the most impactful and powerful healings I have ever experienced.
Healing from these injuries is how The Unbridled Life was born several years ago- while deep in a years-long powerful healing of the same injury that was triggered last month: my L5 and sacrum in a condition known as Spondylolisthesis- a slipping forward of my L5 vertebrae over my sacrum/ S1. This condition is something I've learned to live and now work with, but for years I worked with healer after healer to 'fix' it- the pain it causes in my hip can be excruciating at times, and the way it pulls on my psoas makes walking uncomfortable when it really flares up.
If you were ever to see me in a bathing suit, you would see how my L5 bone literally sticks out from the rest of my spine from the condition. Most likely it came from my various falls, tumbles and years of daily riding- often without a saddle. It's also why I have a powerful tattoo on the lower half of my back- reminding me day-in and day-out of the magic and grace that entered my life from what at times can be very painful.
For the past 4 years I've lived pain-free since having a powerful realization and creating a new relationship with the pain. In the midst of my healing {and training to be a healer} one night in 2011 deep in the throes of a flare-up I had an epiphany-
THIS ISN'T AN INJURY TO FIX OR MANIPULATE, BUT INSTEAD IS MY ALLY & BEACON:
When I am missing something in my life, it tends to be the warning signal that goes off that there is some step, action or movement I need to take in order to move forward or expand- but instead I am ignoring what I know I need to do and letting Fear rule the show.
AND WHEN WE LET FEAR RULE THE SHOW IN OUR LIVES, WE ARE HOLDING OURSELVES BACK FROM ALL OF THE THINGS WE ARE SAYING WE WANT.
It was that night that brought together all of the theory, research, endless hours of training and working with clients into a cohesive view of the mind-body-soul relationship that led to The Unbridled Life being born soon after.
And it was that night that I finally had an experience of the pain being completely gone from my back.
But there was something else that came about that night, something I had forgotten about until 7 weeks ago when it came roaring back into town, when the injury flared up yet again:
I made a vow to myself that night: Within 5 years, horses and horsemanship would be a physical element in my business. And that I would get back in the saddle again when the time was right.
I had no idea what this would look like, how it would even happen (I was living in San Francisco and nowhere near stables) and ummm, I was used to living in some degree of pain that made riding feel impossible again. And was healing from a bankruptcy. And had no idea how I was even going to build my growing CranioSacral Therapy business into something sustainable- let alone something thriving enough to have a horse element.
SO I DID WHAT I ALWAYS DO WHEN I HAVE A VISION THAT FEELS EQUALLY TRUE AND SIMULTANEOUSLY IMPOSSIBLE:
I LET IT GO.
I let go of the attachment of it happening. I let go of having to figure it out that day. I let go of even needing it to happen.
But then 7 weeks ago, that pain in my back and hip, my beacon that I was standing in a fear that was holding me back, began to call out fiercely- and this time I knew exactly what to do about it.
I speak about what's transpired in listening to my beacon over the past month in the latest episode of The Unbridled Life Podcast: Turning Pain into Personal Power
In the episode I speak about what happens when the body begins to call out for our attention; how in particular back pain, digestive issues, and adrenal fatigue can be powerful teachers for each of us; and how I was able to shift the physical pain I was experiencing into an empowered CHOICE and swift action by facing one of my Personal Lions head on...
Leading to the pain literally disappearing within minutes of finally taking the action I was led take.
You'll also hear in this episode more about my process known as Facing the Lion which I have been using with private clients {and myself} for over 6 years now to get intimate with fear, pain, survival instincts and how you are hiding to take action in your life- or learn where you are totally frozen instead.
Facing the Lion is a process that I’ve developed through my work in Somatic Therapy, CranioSacral Therapy, massage, Tantric yoga practices, movement, developing The Heroine’s Odyssey, and several other modalities.
The entire process of addressing the pain that appeared, facing my Personal Lion, and taking action when I knew what I had to do led to something I never would have guessed the entire year of 2015 full of fire, expansion and struggle was leading me to....
It was leading me back to MYSELF. To my people, to my love, to my passion for something I had long-ago written off as 'no longer for me'. To get a clue to what that is and hear all about how I'm returning to something core to who I am, here is a clue:
This is ME
What has opened up for me since opening up to an even deeper truth of what I need in order to Courageously Embody ALL of who I am... well, miracles have been happening left and right. And it was worth every ounce of pain, facing my fears, and finding my courage to go there.
Be sure to listen to the full story over at Unbridled Life Podcast- this is one not to be missed.
If you would like to go deeper and explore your own body-mind-soul connection to expand into your visions- and deeper still, into Courageously Embodying who you are and what you stand for in this world, I would love to support you. A few changes are happening behind the scenes over here at The Unbridled Life as I begin to lay the groundwork for these new elements.
In the meantime, I'm opening up a few spots for private 1:1 work with me to address exactly this. If you are at a turning point, threshold of expansion in your life or experiencing something in your body that you have a feeling has a deeper meaning {like an injury, pain, weight gain/ weight loss or adrenal fatigue} I would love to speak with you. To book a time to hop on the phone with me and discuss how I can help, please click HERE.
IT IS BREATHTAKING WHAT CAN ARISE FROM YOUR WILLINGNESS TO DO THIS WORK OF COURAGEOUS EMBODIMENT AND NOT ONLY BECOME FRIENDS- BUT ALSO ALLIES- WITH YOUR BODY AND YOUR FEARS.
Because woman- you have some big work to do in the world and I believe it’s about time you step into it. And I would venture to guess that somehow, someway, your body has been giving you clues as well that the time is now for you to stop and listen so you can expand into the visions you have.
I can't wait to see what is brewing for each of you this year as we all step into a fresh start. Stay tuned- a new adventure is on the horizon.