The True Power of Choice
You know lately I’ve been seeing a lot floating around out there about Choice.
How we make our choices, how the body is involved, how our choices create our reality. It seems to be the latest layer in body awareness that I’ve been practicing for years that is finally hitting the mainstream- which is truly amazing to witness women and men stepping into using their body as a gateway to freedom, healing and expansion on a bigger level.
I’ve been sitting in contemplation about Choice often lately and it’s been coming up in almost every client session I hold these days. And I realized this morning that I actually have a lot to say about Choice- and some deeper layers of it that it feels time to bring to light.
For years, so much of my work {professional and my own inner work} has boiled down to the choices we make:
CAN I CHOOSE TO TRUST THAT EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT IN THE END?
CAN I TRUST MY DECISIONS AND STAND FIRM IN MY CHOICES, EVEN WHEN MY LEGS ARE SHAKING AND I’M NOT SURE I CAN HANDLE THIS?
CAN I SURRENDER TO THE KNOWING THAT I WAS LED TO A CERTAIN CHOICE FOR A REASON, AND ALL WILL WORK OUT IN THE END {ESPECIALLY WHEN I FEEL LIKE I’M FREE FALLING}?
And so much more.
This summer I experienced my own soul-rocking version of this: I made a Choice to expand {into a studio that could hold my Vision}.
As a result, some things began to burn down around me that stood in the way of this expansion. A free fall followed and in truth: all the ducks did not line up in a row as neatly as I had predicted {hint: they never do, at least not how we think they will}. I experienced pain, anger, frustration, doubt to a degree unlike anything I’d experienced before. I tried to go back to the comfortable and couldn’t. I tried to scramble and hustle my way to an answer- that didn’t work.
As I drifted in what felt like a free fall, I made choice after choice of how to proceed- one foot in front of the other, one step at a time- knowing that as I faced each fear arising head on, resisted the urge to stop the expansion, asked for help in unexpected places, opened myself to unseen opportunities and breathed {a lot} that eventually, I would reach a new level….. of what exactly I wasn’t so sure... but I knew that where I was coming from was no longer an option. Although it was very tempting to coast along back to what felt safe, it was too small for my grander Vision.
This was nothing new from any other time I made the choice to expand, but it still took me by surprise when it happened.
For years I have been guiding others through this process as it wasn’t happening just in my own deep spiritual work. It was also the work of CEO’s who came into my office in pain because their body was breaking down from not honoring their choices. Of students who came in tired and burned out from their choice to work, go to school and raise their family. Of mothers who had to make difficult choices for their children and heal their body from those choices...
When I found myself in the role I currently serve, the consequences of choices and decisions manifested in other ways. Of new entrepreneurs not believing they had the choice to make it really happen. Of seasoned entrepreneurs making choices that did not honor their body and suffering from adrenal fatigue, migraines, full body shut downs... and worse. Or others who stopped at nothing to sign as many clients as possible to hit numbers that weren’t even chosen by their soul- but rather were chosen by their ego.
It happens to all of us, all the time. Making Choices, and then facing whatever happens from those choices.
Sometimes they turn out good, other times the Choices lead us down dark and stormy roads (also good, by the way) but always, always we have something deeper to choose:
Going beyond just the Choice and Choosing to find PEACE with each choice we make.
Getting really clear on who made those Choices- ego or spirit? Past patterns or soul? Or are others completely running the show of your life that no part of you is even involved in the decision making process at all?
Facing ALL of the fears that come with the Choice. All the conditioning, all the supposed to's, all of the 'this is dangerous' warnings need to be faced, honored, and made friends with.
Because even a simple Choice like cutting your hair to express more fully who you are can bring up all sorts of fears- especially if you've been conditioned to believe, for example, that to be a women, one must have long flowy hair. Cutting it or even shaving it (as a dear friend just did) could be a radical act of claiming of one's self and owning all of who you are. And could be a potential gateway to incredible freedom by moving past the fears of doing so.
Think it's trivial? Think again- when I made the decision to go back to brunette a few months ago after being bleach blond all year, I felt my entire universe shift because I felt fully me again- and I saw all the ways that being blond was- yes- something fun to try out. But more subtly, it was a way of trying to fit in to my new Southern California home.
Why would I need to fit in? To be safe of course. To be included. To not be in danger of standing out.
Because back in our primal days, standing out was dangerous. Being different meant possible abandonment by the tribe. Standing alone meant you could be dinner for the lions and other predators.
Each of us, consciously and unconsciously, make choices every single day that add up to the experience of our lives. Sometimes those Choices come from deep conscious knowing and accepting all of who you are. But often times (until we really get a hang of this) the Choices we make are based on how we are reacting to certain fears....
AND 9 TIMES OUT OF 10, ONE BIG FEAR THAT SEEMS TO BE YOUR OWN
PERSONAL LION.
SO THEN THE REAL CHOICE- ACTUALLY THE CHOICE- IS:
DO YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO FACE THAT LION AND MAKE FRIENDS WITH IT SO YOU CAN LIVE ANOTHER WAY, OR DO YOU KEEP GOING AS YOU HAVE BEEN- SAFE AND COMFORTABLE BUT FEELING SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE LIKE YOU AREN'T FULLY LIVING AS ALL OF YOU?
Yes- it is SO important to learn how to discern our Hell Yeses and No Ways. We all reach a point in our spiritual journey where it actually becomes dangerous if we don’t listen to these cues and move forward based on them.
But what happens when we make the leap, sign the contract, say Yes to the expansion, leave the job, make the big move?
At first what happens, is a whole lot of floundering and chaos. And a whole lot of FEAR- or in other terms, your own Personal Lion begins to hunt you and haunt you.
Why does your Lion come out to play? Because this new state is different. Because the path is not yet known. Because it is an edge that is requiring you to stand firmly in your decision, even when you can’t find your feet.
And anything that is standing in your way- well that needs to burn baby burn first before we can even face our fears head-on. That’s when our good friend Kali Ma comes in to facilitate the process- and you can either make friends with her, or fight her, or try to run for your life… but if real change and expansion is TRULY what you want, then at some point you will need to walk through the fire, will need to turn around and face your Personal Lion of your fears, and make your CHOICE:
TO BECOME FRIENDS WITH YOUR FEARS AND LET THEM WORK FOR YOU AS AN ALLY, OR BE UTTERLY CONSUMED IN THE FIRE TO RETURN TO WHERE YOU WERE- COMFORTABLE BUT NOT SATISFIED.
‘SAFE’ BUT ONLY IN PERCEPTION.
SECURE IN YOUR SMALL, INSTEAD OF LIVING INTO YOUR LARGE.
To get intimate with fear, find where and how you are hiding, and make the Choice- to continue running, freezing or fighting... or choose another way.
That other way can often show up as finally facing the dark shadows in you that you have been doing a great time hiding from the world- and yourself.
It may come as finally seeing the bright light that you are- that everyone easily sees but you somehow haven’t yet been able to.
It may come as finally making making money or new levels of wealth in your business because you finally trust yourself and your Choices enough to make it real- to make YOU Real.
It may come as finally meeting your partner in life. Or experiencing great love. Or finally finding your true HOME.