The Crossroads

I don’t know what it is, but something about this year already feels radically different. Call it something in the air, call it a shift in energy, call it whatever you desire, but there is a certain….something… ALIVE.... That I haven’t felt at the start of a year in a very long time.

Can you feel it too?

I've spent the past few weeks deep in inquiry about what I wanted to bring to the metaphorical table this year, and a word began to emerge that frankly- scared me at first.

LEGACY

Have you ever done that? Chosen a word, goal, resolution or intention for something {a new year, a project, a phase of your life} and realized that the intention was so edgy, so scary… you sort of wanted to puke?

Well that’s exactly what happened with mine. I won’t get into the details, but let’s just say I had a glorious tantrum about it for a hot minute about all of the implications a word like Legacy would entail- business legacy, family legacy, did this mean children (??) and the list went on.

But then after the initial shock, I began to really sink into just how much fun this could be. And how absolutely essential it is at this time- perhaps for ALL of us- to explore.

You see, I’ve been holding something really close to my heart the past few months, and it’s been a source of both radical honesty with myself and sheer confusion.

I debated sharing this for some time, but then realized that in my raw truth, it was possible that others could be set free in theirs. In your emails and sessions I've seen many of you in similar places and if there is one thing I'm always a stand for, it's telling the Truth.

2016 turned out to be the year that I had to get totally naked with MYSELF to find the true gold hidden beneath the walls I had build in various parts of my life. And a big piece of this getting naked was that over the past year, I started to see the self-development field, coaching, healing, yoga- the whole industry- in a new light. I had met a lot of teachers and was privy to see what happens behind the scenes of a lot of the brands that people know and love.

AND RADICAL TRUTH: I REALLY DID NOT LIKE WHAT I SAW.

It’s not important the what’s or who’s or when’s. And while none of it was new information for me (I’d actually been seeing these things for quite a few years), what was new was this growing sense inside myself that I no longer wanted to be associated with it.

It was as if- seemingly overnight- the culture had radically shifted:

The economist in me was utterly fascinated by the patterns emerging.

The finance maven in me saw the immediate holes & leaks of the business dealings.

The healer side of me was appalled that a foundation focused on the integrity of healing & transformation had shifted so quickly into something... else.

And the Unbridled Warrior in me- well she just wanted to lead the charge to fight it all.

It was shockingly similar to the feeling I began to have 9 years ago when I was in the finance industry and saw a lot of shady dealings happening behind the scenes. Ever seen The Big Short? Yeah- I knew about all of that before the public did. And it did not sit well with me.

{It's very important to note before I move on: in my actual sessions, intensives and interactions with clients, this feeling of unease was far from what I felt. I LOVE every minute of the actual work I do. My work fulfills me on levels I never knew were possible. It was the 'other' parts of the business and seeing what was happening in the industry as a whole that really got under my skin}

Back then by 2008- I made the decision to leave finance altogether. The patterns I was seeing and lack of integrity was enough to move on. It was a rocky road for a while, but to this day it is still one of the best choices I’ve ever made.

BUT THIS TIME WHEN THESE FEELINGS AROSE AGAIN IT FELT RADICALLY DIFFERENT. THAT WHILE THE CHOICES APPEARED THE SAME, THIS WAS A WHOLE NEW RODEO.

And so I prayed- a lot. And I found my place of peace in the saddle again. And I got married. And I continued to grow my business with clients who felt really amazing to bring on and said good-bye to those who I no longer felt in alignment with. I discussed my feelings with the closest of my inner circle of what felt most in integrity for me.

Then it was a conversation with my mom Bernadette Blackstock at- of all places- Disneyland that drove it all home.

A serial entrepreneur herself who now runs a large non-profit and has even been honored at The White House for her work, she laid it out for me super raw & real in line for The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror (I swear my life really happens in these funny ironic ways):

I WAS AT A CROSSROADS {AND HERE’S WHERE I WANT YOU TO REALLY LOOK AND ASK YOURSELF IF YOU ARE AT A CROSSROADS TOO, AND HOW YOU ARE GOING TO RESPOND}

A Crossroads of Choice:

Road #1: The Road of staying despite my misgivings and continuing business as usual- ignoring what I was seeing

OR
Road #2: The Road of leaving and finding something new altogether
OR
Road #3: Take {what felt like} the seemingly hardest road of all- Stay and rock the boat a little {or a lot}. Be the voice of change. Be the stand for what’s possible. And create a Legacy in alignment & integrity with the vision of what I know is possible in an industry that helps millions of lives daily.

Thank goodness we were in a public place with happy children standing around or else I might have screamed in frustration. But something happened instead- being in the happiest place on earth I saw just how powerful that Road #3 is. I’d taken Road #1 and #2 before at various times in my life, but #3 was whole new territory.

Disneyland itself was a perfect example of it. A legacy created on the foundation of what Walt Disney saw as the high-standard in entertainment, wonder, and creativity. And by creating that Legacy, he not only changed the game, he created a new one.

And so, my choice became strikingly clear. Road #3- all the way.

It took a few months to hash out what that looks like, some serious deep dives into what I want to create, and a letting go of something I had spent years developing, but no longer felt in alignment with this higher purpose and cause.

And the beauty hidden in the muck is that- the patterns I was seeing out there that were bothering me & causing my discomfort, revealed to me a missing piece not just in this industry but every industry that- lo and behold- was something I am passionately invested in talking about more- wealth. Not wealth as you may classically think of only in money terms, but TRUE WEALTH.

THE KIND OF WEALTH THAT FEEDS YOU, BREATHES YOU, FULFILLS YOU.

In short- the kind of Wealth that money can't buy. Which has been my passion since I took my first Economics class at 18 years old and well- a love affair was born that led me through the halls of academia, the paved stones of Wall Street and the unbridled adventure of entrepreneurship.

It’s been a humbling process, and one in which I know I am not alone. A large number of you have been writing to me feeling at a crossroads, or coming to your sessions here with similar questions in your heart.

AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW- YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

And in fact, I think it’s the marker of living a fully embodied life that we have the courage to ask these questions AND even more brave, to choose the path that is right for you. For some Road #1 is exactly what you need right now to provide stability for the future. For some Road #2 is the clear choice. And for some Road #3 is the path less travelled.

My point is, none is better than or higher on the scale than another. What is important, is that you have the courage to ask the questions and choose what is right for you- now. With total permission to make a new choice down the line at any time when a crossroad appears again.

And so as we embark on 2017, as you are setting your goals and intentions, words and themes, visions and dreams for the year, I invite you to spend some time and ask yourself if you are at a Crossroads as well. And if so, what choice do you need to make to really start the year off in the right direction?

As part of my commitment to Road #3 and creating a Legacy, I have some new projects I’m announcing soon that I am seriously excited to reveal here {it’s taking everything in me not to show it all to you right now!}.

In the meantime, I’ve never been more serious about strengthening the foundation of integrity in the healing & coaching industry. For this reason, I just opened up two more spaces in The Unbridled Apprenticeship, my year-long foundational training for healers & coaches who are looking to become not only successful in their craft, but leaders as well.