Two Steps Forward
I want to start off today expressing so much gratitude for all of you who have walked this path with me- whether it's been just a few weeks or several years- it's truly meant the world to me that you open my emails, read my words, join my programs and connect with me on social media and in-person.
THANK YOU!
I've been in contemplation of this energy of spring that we are entering and how much it impacts our journey- no matter where we are. It was like a rush of intense energy at the beginning of the year as so many- including myself- set out on huge goals and initiatives for 2017.
And then as the past few months have rolled by, I've noticed an energy of sinking back into the year. Reorganizing of plans. Resetting of priorities. Reviewing what is true to our hearts, and what maybe came more from ego.
Almost as if in the depths of winter the lighthouse of Big Visions was the beacon that kept so many of you going through the long winter nights. And as the days have lengthened & warmer days have tip-toed in, a softening and mellowing into the deeper truths of what our hearts truly want has emerged.
Have you been experiencing this shift as well? Or perhaps not quite a shift but an upheaval?
I believe it's natural on any path that you are on for the winds to change and the tides to shift, and to adjust the steps we are taking accordingly.
You see, sometimes walking this path of being a writer, healer AND running a business can be quite the wild ride. To make it all work can get confusing with twists & turns, new adventures that pop up out of nowhere and taking risks we never expected to take.
But no matter what industry you are in, the journey is the same.
Sometimes it can feel like we're taking two steps forward and then one step back.... or three three steps back at times ;)
Sometimes we need to say Yes to something to learn it just isn't our way- and then course correct in the process.
Sometimes a choice will feel SO clear, and SO right to put into action and then.... you get a lesson you weren't expecting, a miracle in the mess you created, and an opportunity to learn from what transpired, which propels you into your next level of expansion.
Not in the way you thought it would, but definitely in the way you needed.
Sometimes it can feel like massive boulders stand in our path, or huge canyons suddenly appear and we have no idea how we will get around or across them.
And then sometimes the temptation will come along to hitch a ride with someone else going the same direction, and we lose our sense of trusting our own internal directions and intuition.
I've received emails from many of you lately feeling one of the above- or more versions it would take too long to list.
The truth is, no matter what path you are on- entrepreneurship, being a creative, working in corporate, raising a family, retired...- the path belongs to YOU and only you.
What I have found to be true is this:
NAVIGATING WHERE YOU ARE GOING AND WHAT YOU ARE CREATING IN YOUR LIFE TAKES A COMBINATION OF FIERCE TENACITY MIXED WITH UTTER SURRENDER TO LETTING GRACE TAKE THE LEAD.
Sprinkle in a healthy belief in miracles and you've got yourself a winning combo.
Sounds easy right?
Then why do so many of us still struggle with it? With the anxiety, the disbelief, the doubts, the nagging feelings, the disconnection from our bodies, the judgement of our prior steps...
I've been pondering this one a lot lately, and there are probably a million and one answers for each situation and each person who has experienced any of the above.
But what seems is the universal key in all of this is:
TRUST
I've written about Trust here a lot of over the years- in fact it was one of my very first blog posts all the way back in 2007! Over the years this idea of Trusting not just yourself, but in the bigger plan as well, has shifted and grown as I have.
And what feels more important now more than ever is a Trust that even if things don't turn out as you had hoped, even if the Big Vision looked totally different than you imagined, or it appears like there is a massive boulder in your way. Even if it feels like you have taken multiple steps backwards instead of forwards {hint: you haven't}-
KEEP MOVING FORWARD
I'll say it again and again and again. It can be tempting when things don't work out the way you expect them too to throw in the towel and try another way. But I guarantee that if you keep moving forward- even teeny tiny baby steps in some direction- the tide will shift and you'll begin to feel like you are back in the flow.
How?
I believe there are many ways to keep moving forward, but what I've found most effective is starting your day with a practice of connecting- inwards with yourself and outwards with the Divine- in whatever shape and name you define the Divine.
Taking some quiet time for yourself before you do anything else and:
Ask for guidance on your next steps
Express your gratitude
Connect with your inner knowing through stillness
Ask if the roadblocks you are experiencing are there to test your strength or commitment, or are they sending you in another direction altogether
Ask: How am I being called to serve today? and
Open yourself to receive the miracles that are just waiting for you to say Yes.
It was through this practice in the past few weeks that I've been doing a bit of a course correction myself. You see, I started off 2017 with one of those Big Visions to get me through those winter months and set a BIG plan in motion to bring it to life. I hired the business coach. I invested in the platforms. I read the books and changed course because Harvard Business Review said to focus on x instead of y. I created an editorial calendar for the first time EVER in my business.
I did all the things one is supposed to do.... and....
It all felt OFF.
LIKE- NOT JUST OFF, BUT IN SOME WAY LIKE A HUGE FEAR OF MINE WAS COMING TO LIFE BEFORE MY EYES AND A PART OF MY SOUL WAS DYING IN THE PROCESS.
And I felt STUCK.
But then this Fierce Miracle happened:
As I've talked about on my Podcast, returning to riding horses has been the most humbling experience of my adult life. Something that used to be full of adventure & freedom as a teenager now brings me face-to-face with most of my joys AND all my triggers- daily. It's why I keep riding day in and day out- because it is pushing me to ALL my edges in each step forward.
And the thing that has been my greatest fear these past 15 months is that a horse would take off with me- galloping out of control from a spook or moment of crazy.
When I took a few falls last spring they definitely shook me up, but for some reason falling didn't seem as scary as an out of control horse.
So when I bought Oliver- who is 17'1 {meaning: HUGE} but VERY calm, slow & well- lazy- I began to TRUST that all would be ok.... but a part of me still feared a moment of chaos.
So for the past 8 months I've held back. Held us back. Built my strength, took baby steps, but still every ride a small part of me gripped on TIGHT to save us {me} from the just-in-case.
Well- that gripping wasn't serving anyone, least of all me. And I'll be the first to admit it was transferring into other areas of my life.
And then, as miracles tend to do: IT HAPPENED.
A spook.
A take-off across the arena at full speed.
An instinct that rushed through me saying 'Oh HELL NO I'm not falling off this horse'.
And a body that knew exactly what to do without me thinking, that had the strength to pull it off, and kept me securely in that saddle.
This is why we work so hard, even at the baby steps.
This is why we get honest about our fears and trust we can face them when it happens.
This is why we create the experiences to face them.
This is why we take care of our bodies & trust her wisdom even when it doesn't make logical sense.
And this is why we take step after step after step- even when we are scared, even when it brings up all of the stuff we don't want to look at, even when it would be so much 'easier' not to.
It may seem like a small thing, but often the 'greatest fear monsters' are just that- small. It just takes big courage to face them.
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS INCIDENT SHOOK ME TO THE CORE
I had no problem getting back in the saddle and riding again, but it shook me up just enough to look hard in the mirror and admit to myself that soul death I was feeling but denying.
And so- I let myself mourn- what exactly I don't know. But mourning it certainly was- there is no doubt about it.
In that time, it felt like instead of taking those massive leaps forward I had planned, I had instead taken several steps backwards.
OR FALLING TO GRACE
But then I saw the truth- that it was in no way steps backwards. Instead, the lessons I learned over those 3 months were pure gold in teaching me all of the ways that I don't want to do things, and all of the ways that I do.
And ultimately, how the Big Vision was a sneaky cover-up for an even bigger vision that looked smaller on paper, but that my heart was longing for more than anything else in the world.
You can't put a price-tag on such a valuable lesson.
And so- I ramped up my daily practice described above and went deep into the heart of longing.... and hit delete on the plan and returned to where The Unbridled Life has always thrived- in service to the Divine and what is ready to come through me.
I'll be sharing more of what this means over the coming weeks, but in the meantime I want to say this:
I CONSIDER THESE NEWSLETTERS & THIS TRIBE WE'VE CREATED SACRED TERRITORY.
Yes- I'm creating some fun free experiences for you in the coming months because I ADORE creating them {one of which I am announcing next week}.
Yes- the Podcast will continue but I'm redirecting a few episodes- so stay tuned {Plus iTunes changed it back to the Unbridled Life Podcast title, so divine wink noted to scrap the name-change ;)}
Yes- I still have Programs, groups and private sessions open for enrollment because that is how I serve in my fullest is through the gift God gave me of healing & embodiment work. {And Yes- there are spaces open now if you wish to Apply}
But I no longer care what Harvard Business Review or any other expert thinks I should offer or what I should write or how I should sell- instead
I'LL CONTINUE TO CREATE OFFERINGS FROM MY HEART, SHARE THEM WITH YOU AND TRUST:
THAT THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE READY, WILL KNOW WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.
But you will only hear from me here when I have something True, Sacred & Exciting to share with you- it's my renewed litmus test for all posts and communications going forward. I've longed believed that my journey is not just for me, but is a way that I serve in sharing the words that flow through me to describe it.
And for that reason, I've also committed to self-publish a heart project book by the end of the year. That part of my soul that felt like she was dying? It was the part that has wanted to bring this to life and was tired of feeling cut off and ignored. And so I'm embarking on the journey of what it takes to bring a project like this to life.
I'm one part terrified, one part have no idea how the finances & time & inspiration will come together to make it work, one part full of Trust that it will, one part excited like a little kid and about twenty parts READY.
And so I leave you with a challenge today to ask yourself:
What steps forward are you putting off or avoiding?
What steps forward have you taken that you feel like you need to course correct?
What steps forward are you ready to commit to today?
I'd love to hear your answers so email me anytime. I look forward to hearing more about your journey.