The Return

Wow- I'll start off by humbly saying "It's been a while, huh?"

Last I wrote to you I was heart-deep in the writing of my first book, The Worthiness Revolution, and knew that I needed the space to go into the writing cave.

So first of all- THANK YOU for your patience as I took a break from writing these love notes from my heart to yours here to focus on what I needed to do.

{TL;DR- I’m moving my newsletters to a new platform, so if you know you want to join me, click HERE to enter your email & subscribe. Now I invite you to keep reading for the campfire story of where I’ve been & why I’m moving}

One of the biggest lessons I've learned over the years is that when our soul is crying out for spaaaaaaace, something major is about to transpire.

I thought it was the writing of my book.

Turns out, it was actually the Re-Writing of Myself.

You know- no big deal ;)

I joke, but the Re-Writing of Myself is exactly what the past few years have turned out to be- if you've been following me on social media you've seen the profound effects the past few years have had on me and how I show up in the world. I set out with the intention to focus on writing my book, supporting my existing clients and placing a priority on supporting my body through the process.

{And interestingly, the book itself got accidentally, permanently deleted several months in. But that's a story for another day}.

What actually happened was: I came face-to-face with my ambition and what it really means to me, my original dream when I began this crazy journey of entrepreneurship 15 years ago, and a body transformation that I wasn't expecting but turned out to be the breath of fresh air I didn't even know I needed.

Sometimes we don't even know we need something until we commit to something else and get catapulted into another process altogether.

When I last sent an email, I had been blogging & sending regular, almost weekly newsletters for over 11 years, and I had reached a point where I creatively needed a break from writing long form content.

Not being one to half-ass anything, I decided that a break was better than continuing to send emails that didn’t have the full spectrum that I thought my audience (all of you!) deserved.

What I thought would be a month or two to give myself creative space accidentally turned into a few years- during which I really dropped into enjoying the challenge of shorter form writing on Instagram but in total transparency- I was just way more in the flow of living a more private life than I had been for the previous decade of sharing so much of my life, my heart and my art of words so vulnerably online.

After the shutdowns (which for those of us in California lasted into 2021) I was feeling fired up and ready to return- the podcast was lined up with the first few episodes recorded again, branding materials were all done and even the first email was being written. I was pumped to return to this space!

But right when I was on the cusp of announcing it all in the summer of 2021, tragedy struck my family with the sudden heart attack and passing a few days later of my father- of whom I had written about here & on my blog so many times in those 11 years.

We won’t get into the sad tale, because as any of you who have lost a parent knows- it is a Rite of Passage most of us go through that can take us into the depths of our souls and the heights of our love for life and those around us.

I really learned the essence of the saying that the depth of our grief shows us the depths of our love. And friends- I went deep.

The past 2+ years since his passing have been some of the most deeply healing, epically beautiful years of focusing on my family life and serving existing clients, and while I have been writing and creating a lot, I still wanted to keep it close to my heart and private.

As they say- write about it when you are in it, share about it when you are out.

So I shelved my big plans for a spell.

During that time I still showed up on social media & had a lot of fun in more of the inspirational genre on Instagram.

I dabbled in sharing long form writing again on Substack but that ultimately didn’t feel right.

I was a member of an endurance sports team & pushed my edges completing my first ultra-marathon/ multi-day running event of 48.6 miles- The Dopey Challenge- in Disney World.

And I continued to do my private 1:1 coaching work & leading small group experiences without focusing on any marketing or sales.

In many ways I thrived, even amidst a very Hard Thing. And I learned SO MUCH along the way that I am revved up to begin sharing with all of you again.

Looking back, I didn’t realize how much I needed a break after those 11 years of deeply sharing my life & my thoughts & my practices so openly on the internet & in many ways, I am so grateful I gave myself that space to be more private for a while & to find my voice again.

Earlier this year, I started to long for deep writing & connection again, but then when I turned 43 this summer, something in me broke.

Or rather- not broke…. Cracked me wide OPEN ⚡️

Like the jaws of a beast who had been sleeping for a few years & finally decided it was time to get the hell out of the cave.

And that beast inside me? She was HUNGRY.

Hungry for the RAPTURE she had been missing.

Hungry for the THRILL of connection & serving my community in deeper ways.

Hungry for that sensation of being POWERFUL with my voice once again.

It wasn’t that my extended nap was a bad thing or life was dull in that time- sometimes even the fiercest of beasts & bravest of warriors need to pull back + rest.

But there comes a time where the intentional ebb to our flow becomes an extended contraction without our realizing it & suddenly we no longer feel comfortable in our own skin.

Because the skin we were wearing when we took the break has shed completely & a new one is ready to take hold.

Have you ever felt that Fierce One?

Like after the big battle you needed to lay down your sword ⚔️ for a while, but somehow a while became an era without even realizing it?

Until suddenly you wake up one day with the fire blazing in your veins & it’s time to suit up to get back in the game once again.

But as any warrior knows, you don’t just jump back onto the battlefield.

You need to train your body.

Focus your mind again.

Find the fighting spirit deep in your core.

And often hire a coach to help- so you can address your weak spots but more importantly- remind you that you are not only powerful but can SHINE.

I know I’m not alone in feeling like the past few years it was a bit easier to contract than expand & the reality is for most of us, it has been a battle within our own hearts.

But there comes a time when the inner battle needs to end, so the REAL campaign of getting down + dirty with your work in the world can truly begin.

My fire 🔥 is burning something FIERCE lately friends & it’s high time I return.

Plus- I’ve missed you all!!

So my blog is back with a Clean Slate energy and I will be sending newsletters once more.