The rising up of enough

At some point in life, every Warrior needs to lay down her sword and whisper

Enough

Or maybe it’s not a whisper, but more of a ROAR of

I’ve had… Enough.

I’ve battled… Enough.

And…

I AM ENOUGH

I like to think of it as a flash of lightning ⚡️ indicating a point of no return:

When the epic battles have been fought. The adventures have all led her to exactly where she needs to be.

And the arrival of a new Era is upon her.

 An Era of still being fierce, yet calmer.

An Era of staying strong, yet softer.

An Era of honing her resilience, yet allowing life to flow more.

And an Era of still fighting the fights that need to be fought, but picking her battles a bit more wisely.

A softening, a deeper embodying, a RISING takes place that maybe only she can feel.

And suddenly- how she feels in her own skin is what makes all the difference.

Because she doesn’t have to be the Warrior battling her way OUT of all the challenges or TOWARDS every damn thing she dreams of, but can begin to embrace being the Queen of her own domain exactly where she is.

Finally. Confidently.

And with a Glow ✨ that no one can ignore.

This August, I met that moment myself while lying on a massage table with my good friend and neighbor, an amazing physical therapist, working on my left leg which was in excruciating pain.

Starting in April, my body kept tapping on my shoulder that something was ‘off’

I’d have a pain in my left shin. But a few days of total rest would make it worse. A short run would make it better. A long run would flare it terribly.

A trip to Urgent Care yielded nothing beyond a vague diagnosis that didn’t feel right.

None of my bag of tricks seemed to work. And even being married to a sports massage therapist for one of the top spas in the world couldn’t crack the code.

So I continued to move my body in lighter ways. I continued to work on the pain. I examined all the nooks and crannies in my life that could be an emotional root to what was causing it {because the wisdom of the body speaks}.

And I got radically uncomfortable in the stillness to ask the pain what she had to teach me.

My background, before I was a coach, is in somatic therapies. I’ve studied with some of the top healers in the world in places like Esalen, Bali, LA and New York and worked on thousands of clients in my private practice in San Francisco for over 5 years.

And yet when it’s your own body, your own patterns, it can be hard to see the blind spots.

So I did what I advise my friends, family and clients to do- I hired support.

Which landed me on that massage table 2 doors down from my home on an early Wednesday morning before my own client sessions.

As my friend Joe dug into the tendon in my left leg, he asked me questions about the past few years.

About the passing of my dad. About running a business and all the hurdles we collectively faced during the pandemic. About life & loss & love & running & more.

Even though we live two doors down, we hadn’t actually TALKED in depth since the height of the shutdowns when all many of us had was time to connect with neighbors from 6+ feet away and commiserate over the strange circumstances we found ourselves in.

When most of us had an abundance of time. But also of stress. Of fear. And of private battles we kept well hidden because- well- we ALL were facing battles seen and unseen during that time.

As the pain moved around in my leg, the tears began to flow.

 And kept flowing for hours afterwards as my body let go of all the fear, tension & pain it had held onto over the past almost 4 years of public & private battles within my own heart.

Once the tears passed, a LIGHTNESS returned that I hadn’t felt in ages.

Was the pain gone? Not immediately- I had more deep inner work to do and got down & dirty to release it all.

I doubled down on my embodiment practices + shadow work. I hired a well-sought after therapist that took a month to get a single session with. I hired a coach to unearth the places I was hiding to move forward.

And I continued to move my body daily to move the stuck energy OUT.

Hot tip: no one has it all figured out. And even the strongest, most embodied, most self-aware among us struggle. Sometimes even deeper than others, because our calling here on earth is to help others overcome your own darkness as well.

Back to the beginning of the tale: as the tears flowed and I felt that metaphorical sword being laid down to rest, I started to feel a sense of peace.

Not that everything was magically fixed (it wasn’t) but a peace that I was finally unlocking an energy that was stuck in my body.

In many healing modalities, the left represents the feminine, which as a woman had to do with my own nature. And the energetics of the legs have to do with our movement vs stagnation.

And often, one’s fear or resistance to moving forward.

So naturally- after a season of life filled with resilience + uncertainty + loss + grief that required a deep embodiment of my fierce inner Warrior to get through, my body had had ENOUGH.

Not of the fight- I’m a triple fire 🔥 sign so the fight will always be there.

But enough of the fear. Enough of the questioning. Enough of the slow erosion of trust + faith that the circumstances of the past few years had created.

Maybe you’ve experienced something similar?

The feeling of holding your breath waiting for the next crazy thing to happen?

The feeling of being stuck in time- not able to go back but hesitant to move forward?

The feeling of needing to be strong to get through or strong for everyone else?

The feeling of starting to dream big again… but tentatively?

Not necessarily of your body sending you a message {though she’ll often try}, but of having a moment where you draw a line in the sand and say how things have been are no longer how you’d like them to be?

Maybe you are in that moment right now.

There seems to be a lot of change in the air. Career shifts + life changes + major moves + new ways of relating to our bodies.

But more than anything, a shift in the air away from being in the thick of the darkness of ‘battle mode’ and into the shining light of CLAIMING mode.

Claiming you are enough.

Claiming you are ready to step into more of who you are.

Claiming it’s time to feel better in your body.

Claiming you want to SHINE like the fierce Queen you already are- if only you dare to dream it.

A gift came from my own magical moment of declaring ENOUGH-

A new level of my work began to emerge- an integration of ALL the faces of the Fierce Feminine that we as women get to experience in our lifetimes- from the Lover to the Warrior to the Revolutionary to the Lady of the Night to so many more.

And ultimately to The Queen that exists within us all when we let that Fierce Feminine within work her magic.

All of this to say, an unexpected group experience has emerged from the depths of my soul to create for you, and the portal is officially open.

Because what is on the other side of release, on the other side of your version of ENOUGH, on the other side of CLAIMING and standing in your worth is a feeling I wish EVERY woman gets to experience.

And Fierce Ones, I really just want to see you all SHINE.